Off the Top of My Head Navigator

Off the Top of My Head
The home page of this Psycho-Babble.

Off the Top of My Head, Vol. V #1
Click to view the first "Rant" that ran from 6/4/98 through 7/1/98 at the top of Michael's Tripod Homepage. Witness Michael's comments about his page, a little bit about people he knows, and see him mocking that after five years his decision to relearn HTML!

Off the Top of My Head, Vol. V #2
Currently, the second rant, still "BEFORE" Michael decided to rename it the internet version of "Off the Top of My Head". Witness Michael's psycho-babble about absoultely NOTHING! WOO!

Off the Top of My Head, Vol. V #3
Yes, this Navigator was written AFTER the Rants. DUH! I mean, come on. =) Regardless, Next up is the first official "Off the Top of My Head" on the internet. Run for safety... but this navigator STILL rules the world. So there!

Ladies and Gentlemen... boys and girls, CHILDREN of _ALL_ ages. Let's get--- ah, you know that sorrid routine all to well by now, and if you don't--- quit having such an exciting life! Geez, just make the rest of the world jealous.

If you haven't been properly introduced to me, I suggest you check out my first webpage rant. A small link can be found below this rant to check out information about me.

Formalities aside, let's get down to business. It's now July, and I've already officially watched a month of summer disappear faster than one of the President's mistresses when Hillary shows up. Yeah, groan all you want, but that joke would have KILLED about six or seven months ago. No, seriously-- it would have. I've now, as it stands today, got nine more weeks of summer vacation and literally nothing to stand for it aside from a few late nights doing jack squat on this little mechanical box I seem to be typing on now. That and working at the ALL MIGHTY W-D. Bow before Winn-Dixie--- or some B.S. like that.

In terms of my life, things are relatively slow (if you care, which is doubtful). I'm currently single, though I'm beginning to find myself wanting to wrench my hair from my skull in order to get out of this house after work sometimes, but 11 seems to just be a problem for the parental units. Besides, what wholesome, and un-slut like girl would head out with a ruffian such as I after midnight? Or something.

Mick Foley aka "Mankind" aka "Cactus Jack" aka "Dude Love" aka "God"... wait, that last one might be wrong. OH YEAH! King of the Ring. Whoops. Don't let your eyes and minds deceive you ladies and gentlemen, Mick Foley is just _THAT_ nuts. If you haven't been able to witness the fury that was "Hell in the Cell" between Mankind (Foley) and the Undertaker on June 28th, 1998... get a copy. I'm awaiting my copy (DAMN YOU KNOLOGY! DAMN YOU!!!!). Reaction is a buzz and scramblevision even let me see a tooth that manage to jam through Foley's upperlip and hang from his nose. Vincent K. McMahon, Jr. might best realize what he has in Mick Foley, and make CERTAIN that he's not only taken care of finacially (he won't be able to do some of the stuff he does for much longer folks, just look at some of those bumps his body takes. Just imagine being his son or daughter at home watching this and then hearing your FRIENDS or people talk about what your dad did the other night. That's pretty wicked), but also in terms of a push and a CHAMPIONSHIP Reign. No sarcasm here. Mick Foley is a Wrestling AND Entertainment God. I suggest that _ANY_ person get a copy of King of the Ring 1998, and watch just a mere 16 and a half minutes... and then go tell the "wrestling fan" you mock and make fun of "Oh, he knows how to fall." Two and a half stories through a table like that? Hardly.

Okay, I've contained the sarcasm LONG enough. It MUST be unleashed!!! Whatever the hell Eric Bischoff was smoking when he thought of wasting fifteen minutes of my God-forsaken life EVERY damn week interviewing "Superstar" Scott Steiner, I need to get a hold of. Hell, ANYTHING must seem like a great idea to Bischoff. He's even got a SET made up for his own talk show now. Which means? More channel clicking and mindless drivel. May Scott Steiner's implants blow as he flexes and Bischoff's hair piece _AND_ smile be one of the three casualties. At least Liz was there.

Speaking of Liz, over the past week I've heard numerous people tell me certain older woman in their forties are _NOT_ hot. It just amazes me at how wonderful hot some of the women WELL over forty have managed to stay, and most without any form of surgery. Helen Hunt, Elizabeth, and "Woman" Nancy Sullivan are just three of the lovliest ladies in the world. Sure, their breast may not be the size of the movie screen at your local cinaplex like maybe a Tammy Sytch or a Sable Mero's but damn. Just look at them (Okay, As Good As It Gets does NOT count). Growl. I can only hope my wife is that attractive when she's that age.

In order to save the two females who may have actually gotten past the third word of this rant, I'd like to touch a bit on some of the mindless drivel people pass off as literature every week. A certain columnist or two from our local "news"paper, need to be shot. Forget Kafee (SP?) Sledge. Shoot Sandra Okamoto and Steve Beverly. Please put these two worthless, self-indulged bitch-infested little twits out of their misery. I mean, how many people would ask YOUR OPINION on how to improve their section/article/paper and then tell you that your opinion means jack shit? Okamoto is one. Wench. Slow day, I really need to write these when I'm legit pissed or I have a bug up my ass about something, but today I'm just digging bitching up from the past. At least I make sure to mention this is my OPINION and not fact like a certain Canadian Internet-Trolls love to hate---HERB KUNZE. Herb boy--- get a fucking clue.

Speaking of HERBie, I might warn you all to watch out for the spiffy "Herb Kunze is a Moron" sign I'm making for "Thunder" (Thursday, July 2nd, 8:05 EST on TBS Superstation) at the Columbus Civic Center. That and probably a stupid anti-Bischoff sign to sneak in. Mwhahaha. I'm sure after Thunder I'll be bitching and moaning about how WCW fucked this city over again with CRAP, but pray to God Bischoff THINKS, for once... (we're still waiting on that).

I'm going to finish this worthless piece of an opinion with a few words about my current Cable Company, KNOLOGY. Better known to the people that subcribe to it as "KnoloCRAP". Don't believe me? Check out Thomas Hildebrant's homepage. He's got a link to his OFFICIAL "KnoloCRAP" webpage... Any cable company that tells me "It's not our problem" could have their secretaries go down on me and STILL wouldn't get me to stay with them. I'm looking elsewhere for a COMPITENT cable provider, but unfortunately--- I'm not funding the entire cable venture in the household I'm in. =( Knology has only screwed up my buying Pay-Per-Views at LEAST once every two months since I joined the copy in April of 1997. I've called repeatedly about problems and earlier today when I complained AGAIN (they have an answering service on weekends, I mean with all the LARGE REVENUE "BIG" Pay-Shows on the weekend, might as well just hand everything over to an answering service. Morons) and only got "Your account has been credited for the show, Sir." I don't CARE if the account's been credited. I'm the customer. You make ME happy. If I try to buy a 30 dollar pay-show and YOU can't give it to me EVEN when I'm paying three bucks EXTRA to even _HAVE_ the option of ordering Pay-Per-Views. Go figure. You screw up MY seeing something and I get NOTHING but "you've been credited" Well DUH dumbshit... of course I'll be creditted. It was YOUR worthless fucking piece of shit "box" that was not up to par that prohibited me from SEEING what I wanted to. Who's fault is that? YOURS. And you could care less? Fuck you. If you work for Knology and read this--- go tell those little stuck up "I'm better than you" phone-wenches who ACT as if they care, but aren't even worth a damn to go blow their fucking brains out. Thank you.

Man, that didn't come off HALF as compitent or powerful as I wished. Oh well, this shit is updated. Now, until I ACTUALLY have something to talk about... LOOK around this page you stupid fool!


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