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by Bostin Crab
| The Undertaker started out as "Mean Mark Callous" or something or other. He
was a very tall and strange looking guy. Unfortunately, I don't remember ever seeing
"Mean Mark" wrestle, but a friend of mine remembers him. He says Mr. Callaway
used to do the tightrope walk thingy on the top rope back then, before he was the
Undertaker. Cool! That's pretty derned agile for a guy almost 7 feet tall. |
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| Soon, the Undertaker emerged from the depths of Mr. Calloway's cob-webby mind. He let
out one giant brimstone fart, and the Undertaker was born. The first incarnation of the
Undertaker looked quite Amish. It was weird. He sported an ascot and spats, but we loved
him just the same! He also wore purple eye shadow. It wasn't his color, he's definitely an
autumn. The Undertaker really appealed to us, having gone through a goth stage in the
mid-80s (I can't believe I just admitted that). |
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| Well, truth be told, once you've been goth, you're never gonna feel comfortable in a
bright orange dress. Needless to say, we've always loved the Undertaker. These days,
the Undertaker sports more of a "death metal" kind of outlaw type of look. He'd
look right at home in a biker bar. He's HUGE, he's bearded, and he wears black. ... He's
also got a pretty cute butt, when its not wet (OH! I just couldn't resist!).
What an incredible improvement! WE LOVE YOU MR. UNDERTAKER! |
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