| Aliens: |
See Jerry Lynn |
| Area: |
A general term for the package
region. |
| Bounty: |
The white material that pokes out from the
under the singlet (with the bike-short style bottom) when wrestlers wear boxer briefs. |
| Boy-Leg Briefs: |
A style of wrestling panties which are
more like short-shorts than the standard panty. Victoria Secret’s sells ladies’
underwear in this style, they call them boy-leg briefs, and so do we. |
| Cabbage Patch: |
A funny dance where you rotate your hips,
make two fists, put them together in front of you, and make a "stirring" motion.
It is a very simple dance, and almost anyone (no matter how rhythm-deficient you are) can
do it. It is mostly used as a victory dance. |
| Confuse-A-Cad: |
Bostin and Chokee's practice of waving,
blowing kisses, etc. to heel wrestlers in order to confuse them and try to throw them out
of character, (especially D-Von Dudley). The root of this term comes from the famous
Monty Python sketch, "Confuse-A-Cat" and was originally referred to at Mad Phat
as "Confuse-A-Wrestler," prior to being renamed "Confuse-A-Cad" by
Unforgiven1. Confused? Good. |
| Crotch of Steel: |
A move we first noticed Kenny Shamrock
doing. You stand above your opponent who is on hands and knees, then you slam your
"crotch of steel" into their back. Mr. Simmons and Big
Boss Man have also performed this move. |
| Doorways to Another Dimension: |
During Goldust's ring entrance, glitter (pieces of flexible
metallic plastic, approximately 1 inch by 2 inches) floats down on the crowd and the
ring. They will usually stick to the skin of Goldust's opponents, creating a small,
reflective rectangle. We think they look like tiny doorways to another dimension,
suitable for inserting small items, such as pens, coins, lipsticks, etc. |
| Don’t Pop Me One: |
Bostin’s favorite alternate tag line
for Jeff Jarrett’s oft-censored "Don’t Piss Me Off." |
| ECW Cinder Block: |
Ever been to the ECW Arena in
Philadelphia, PA? It looks like a giant cinder block. It's a big oblong box
of a cement building with no windows, i.e., a giant cinder block. |
| EEE-SEE-DUB: |
The actual sound the chant "ECW"
makes. Curiously, the BULL-YOO sound gets dropped off. |
| Eggplant: |
Kenny Shamrock’s package. |
| Eggroll: |
An Asian package. |
| Extreme Hair: |
When a wrestler’s hair (particularly
in ECW) frizzes out during a match. Usually occurs when the wrestler has his hair in a
pony tail, but anything is possible. Rob Van Dam and 2 Cold Scorpio will always get
Extreme Hair during a match. |
| Fanny Packs: |
A purse worn by male wrestlers to carry
their stuff in. It’s a fashion no-no. We often speculate what they could possibly be
carrying in there. Mad Phat friends Chick & Jezebel have speculated that Test actually
cuts the back out of his fanny pack, and carries his ‘nads in there. |
| Flock of Seagulls: |
Cheesy 80s band known for a lead singer
with a horrible hairstyle (it had wings!) Oh, and the song, "I Ran." |
| Frankentitty: |
A term coined by Rhiannon and Unforgiven1
used to describe the Rock’s evil nipple. Rocky had saggy nipples until his rumored
cosmetic surgery where he allegedly had fat sucked from his boobs. The right nipple turned
evil and now looks like it’s folded in on itself. |
| FTD Hair: |
Jeff Jarrett’s hairstyle. It has
"wings" on the sides, like the illustration of Hermes on the FTD logo. |
| Ghost Turds: |
Those little styrofoam S’s used as
packing material. |
| Gimp: |
From the movie "Wayne’s
World," referring to someone who is just plain stupid or ignorant, or has said
something just plain stupid or ignorant. It must be said like this,
implying "You didn’t know? Isn’t it obvious?" Can also be used to
describe an injury in the classic politically incorrect way, i.e., "Shane Douglas
was wearing a cast on his leg, and gimped his way to the ring to save Francine." |
| Interesting: |
A noncommittal term used to describe
something that you don’t necessarily like, but you’re trying to be polite for
some reason. |
| Jelly Roll: |
Either one of: 1) the roll of flab which
replaces the two southernmost abs in Stone Cold Steve Austin’s six-pack (essentially
giving him a "five-pack"); 2) the roll of skin/flab which protrudes over the
waistband (of any wrestler) due to the the extreme tightness of said waistband (obviously
to counter accidentally blinding the audience with a bright white ass) (this usage of the
term is usually reserved for wrestlers who have approximately zero body fat, and just wear
tight waistbands, such as Kenny Shamrock and Jerry Lynn); or 3)
any bit of tummy flab which pokes over the waistband. |
| Jerry Lynn: |
Chokee said once that Jerry looked like
one of those aliens with the big eyes. That joke got out of control. See the Jerry Lynn tribute for an
exasperating explanation of this subject. |
| Lanth Thtorm: |
Lance Storm. Lance lisps, in case you
never noticed. He’s a heel, tho we’re thupothed to make fun of him. |
| Lunchables: |
Those little lunch packs with cold cuts
and crackers. We believe that Big Boss Man carries them in his cargo vest. |
| Lump: |
A prominent package. |
| Meatball: |
See Taz. |
| McDonalds Arches: |
Debra McMichael's eyebrows look like the
Golden Arches. |
| Mr. Simmons: |
Farooq. His real name is Ron Simmons, and
he looks like someone’s dad. At least facially. We never knew anyone who had a dad as
buff as Mr. Simmons. Still, to us, in the face, Farooq just looks like someone’s dad,
and we are compelled to give him the proper respect we would to anyone’s dad.
Therefore, we refer to him as Mr. Simmons, or Mr. Farooq Simmons. |
| Nicole Bass Impressions: |
Whenever a wrestler utters a low, guttural
sound, it’s a Nicole Bass impression. When Nicole was in ECW as part of Justin
Credible’s entourage, she would always yell in that deep, hoarse voice of hers at
Justin’s opponents, particularly Jerry Lynn. Her ability to
tower over most of the men in ECW made it seem even more surreal. Interestingly, Jerry
Lynn is one of the wrestlers who consistently makes Nicole Bass impressions. |
| Package: |
The part of the male anatomy that women
look at when men are wearing spandex (Do we have to spell it out?? T...h...e...
g...e...n...i...t...a...l...s) |
| Packing: |
Having a prominent package. |
| Pete Frog: |
Pete Gas of the Mean Street Posse. He
looks like a frog. |
| Poopie Pants Sid: |
In an interview with Jeff Marek of The
LAW, Mark Calloway was asked what was the weirdest thing that ever happened during a
match. His response was that once he attempted to put Psycho Sid Eudy in a tombstone
piledriver, but Sid had pooped his pants.. |
| Ricki Rachtman: |
Former MTV VeeJay. Chokee speculated that
instead of Motley Crue, the WWF hire other washed up 80s music personalities, including
Ricki Rachtman. WCW thought that was a great idea. (P.S., Chokee wants a finder's fee for
that!) |
| Scanners: |
Those cheesy 80s horror movies where the
"Scanners" could concentrate and make people’s heads explode. Whenever
someone exerts their facial features (most likely Kenny Shamrock), they look like a
Scanner. There were about 75 Scanners movies, including Scanners, Scanners II, Scanner
Cop, Scanner Granny, Scanner Kitty-Cat, etc. |
| Tae Bo Stance: |
Whenever a wrestler uses a move that
resembles a stance in the Tae Bo workout, by Billy Blanks, he is executing a Tae Bo
Stance. Most common Tae Bo-ers are 2 Cold Scorpio and Al Snow. |
| Taz: |
In our "If Wrestlers Were Food"
article, Chokee’s entry for Taz was simply, "meatball."
It has stayed with him (at least in our eyes) ever since. |
| Testes: |
The Mad Phat nickname for Test, it was
born a mere 10 seconds after Andrew Martin was introduced to the Raw is War audience as
"Test", being a natural progression of the name "Test" for childish
individuals with their minds in the gutter, such as those that make up Mad Phat Wrestling.
A very short time later, Test’s package was introduced to the
audience when he started wearing shimmery purple boy-leg briefs,
which accentuated the monstrous size of his lump. (But truth be
told, calling Test’s package a lump
is like calling Mount Everest a bump in the road.) The fact that Testes was packing
only served to cement the name "Testes" in our already warped and perverted
minds. |
| [The] Tiny Nipple Brigade: |
A term used to describe a wrestler with,
(duh), tiny nipples. Originally coined as a speculated name for Sean Waltman and Jerry
Lynn's tag team in Minnesota Independent Wrestling. Other wrestlers can and
will be added to the Tiny Nipple Brigade as they become known to Mad Phat. |
| The Yuletide: |
A move coined by Mad Phat for use by the
Christmas Creature. For further explanation, see the Christmas Creature article. |
| Wet Spots: |
A damp patch anywhere on the body of a
wrestler, most commonly, on the ass. See the Wet Spot article for more detail. |
| Wrestler Puppy: |
(coined by Unforgiven1) A piece of luggage preferred by
wrestlers which has wheels on the bottom and an extendible handle to facilitate pulling it
behind you, like a puppy. |
