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by Chokee Slam
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If you need to ask why Sean Waltman is in our New and Improved Section of
MAD PHAT WRESTLING, then take a good, hard look at Example A. But not too hard, ya
might get eye cancer.
This is his 123 Kid persona where he reveals his bad taste in hairstyles (the greasy
mullet), he has a rather long face (and I don't mean that he's sad..) and his chin is
about to reach Florida.
Nice pecs though. |
| Before he was the 123 Kid, he was the secret member of the band Missing
Persons. No no.. he was The Lightning Kid. Example B shows that if he wore a little blue
eyeliner and lipstick, he would fit in perfectly with any 80's band from the likes of AHA,
to the Hooters, to The Romantics (he would need to perm his hair then). I speculated that
if he had short hair, he would resemble a 'chia-head' but my assumptions can be put to
rest. It's not THAT curly. He is however the perfect poster boy to advertise for white
tennis sneakers, acid washed clothing, large shoulder padded jackets, and fedoras. And I'm
sure he was probably caught singing some Duran Duran song. In this picture, he looks like
he's going to punch himself in the jaw because he just can't wait for the 80's to end. |
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| But chances are even his own mother made fun of him, he cried, 'NO
MORE!!!' and took the first steps in breaking out of that geek phase. Example C shows what
some facial hair and sunglasses can do for his countenance. The bandana and the beard
somewhat 'chopped' down his face into sections so it didn't look so long anymore. Dude,
you're almost there.. |
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He sought to have the most comprehensive bandana collection in the world and slowly
the hair was growing and growing… As Syxx, he's starting to look a bit more rugged, a
bit tougher.. just look at that snarl in Example D. Scared?? He's like a mean poodle. |
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| Also, while waiting for the full transformation to reach it's end, he
practised learning semaphore signals. Here, he's saying, 'I sport my self designed
Poncho shirt which can sell for the bargain price of $59.99. And by the way, give me some
cotton candy..' |
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Finally, as X-Pac, the individual formerly known as PAC, uh.. actually it's the same
look he had as Sixx. Obviously this look is a comfort to him as he knows it is easier to
our eyes. He seemed to have buffed up a little more (a LITTLE) and sports the 'biker'
look. |
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| However, he better not wear the unitard into a bar unless he wants to have
some large burly man named MOE flirting with him. And X-pac's fine little butt would be
the initial target. I should wash my mouth out with soap. To go from 'the Romantics'
look to the 'Pantera' look is a vast improvement (at least in my opinion) and I'm sure
that many women (and a man named Moe) have told him so.
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