Excursion to Tel'aran'rhiod

Cuebiyar Jen

Jen found the grove in Tel'aran'rhiod easily, where Patty, Ryn, Vree, and Rebecca were waiting. "Sorry I'm late," she apologized. She left explanations for later, if at all, laughing silently to herself. She hardly noticed her clothing shift suddenly to something ... a bit more conspicuous.

"The best tactic," she continued, "in my opinion, at any rate, is to split up. We can cover more area that way, and easier pass ourselves off as ... well, people who aren't necessarily looking for what we're looking for if we aren't traveling in a group. I'll take Mayadi's office--I know her, I know what she's like. Someone ought to take care of the Keeper's office; that might hold some secrets, too. And we need to find out if they have any connection to the TV stations. And if anyone is directly involved, it's possible she might be dreaming about it, which would call for a little ... eavesdropping, so to speak." Jen now wore a decidedly evil-looking grin, but her face fell as she turned to Ryn. "I understand this may be hard for you," she explained, her voice dropping with her facial features for only the Nila to hear, "that is, because of your ties here. If you don't want to do this, I'll understand. I won't make you do anything you don't want to do. On the other hand, though, if there's anything you know, you're welcome to share it."

Jen's evil grin returned when she continued. "Anywhere you feel is necessary besides any of my suggestions, or might help us get to the bottom of this--go."

Using the wonders of Tel'aran'rhiod, the other women winked out one by one until Jen was left alone. She modified her appearance--she was once the Purple Sitter in this Tower, and they would know her, they'd suspect her if anything went wrong. So now if anyone found her, they'd see a young blonde novice who had stumbled accidentally into the World of Dreams. She headed for the Amyrlin's office.

True, Haplo had already transferred a good amount of data from the computer, but most of it were useless bits. The man meant well, and had taken a great risk to get even that much. He would not go unrecognized. But effort did not equal product, and so another trip (this one much safer) was to be taken.

Mayadi Sedai, Amyrlin Seat, kept a tidy office, as pristine in Tel'aran'rhiod as it would be in the waking world. She was only a few years older than Jen herself; the Purple Ajah had been instituted under the previous Amyrlin, Shesan. It was only after Mayadi assumed the position that real distaste for the Purple Ajah became public. Jen figured that this ... distaste ... finally evidencing itself at that time would have something to do with Mayadi. After all, they had always had their disagreements with the rest of the Tower; the emotions weren't new. And that woman had never liked Jen, even in their novice days. Fortunately the feeling was rather mutual. Mayadi had been Green, and the sort who was popular and friendly (really only the tiniest bit loose), whose extroverted personality and outstanding leadership qualities had made her, what the Hall believed, at any rate, the most obvious choice for Amyrlin. She was everything Jen hated--but also, somehow, everything she wanted to be. The internal confusion she experienced often made her slightly ill.

The computer was a resource which had been exhausted, but that didn't rule out the filing cabinet in the far corner. There were files for every novice or Accepted--even for full Aes Sedai!--files for certain companies the White Tower had dealings with... no television stations could be found among them, but that didn't mean it wasn't a possibility. And ... what? Ajah files? Granted, each folder only spanned the last 50 years or so, but what had been the Purple was much younger than that. She paged through, and sure enough, the fledgling Ajah had its one file folder yet. She shuffled through the papers quickly--transient things, like papers, were likely to dissolve in the Dream World. But this--this was rich. This was beautiful. Every paper every written, every document even mentioning the Purples were filed away here, in this folder. It was too bad that objects couldn't be taken from Tel'aran'rhiod--this was exactly what they needed! But maybe ... maybe someone could get it out of the office. Maybe....

Excited, Jen jumped up, folder in hand. No matter it virtually disintegrated as she did so, there was--not a solution, but information that could easily help them win this. And it was really there, in Mayadi's office!

"May I help you?" The firm, displeased voice, usually exuberant and cheerful, now came crashing down upon Jen's head. She actually felt like the novice she was masqueraded as. Or ... rather, used to be. Apparently in the joy for the Purple Tower, she had taken on her normal appearance again. Jen straightened her posture, head forward, and then her features broke into a welcoming grin. "Mayadi, I had no idea you were a Dreamwalker."

Anima Patty

Patty decided that since her role in the Purple Tower mirrored the job of the Keeper in the White Tower, she'd try to find out what she could by investigating Kailenne Sedai. Patty didn't know much about the current Keeper, beside the fact that she'd been Raised from Green like Mayadi Sedai. That was one of the things that Patty liked about the Purple Tower. A woman or man didn't assume a position of power simply because of the Ajah she or he was part of; you earned your spot through hard work and the support of your peers.

Patty changed her clothes with a speed of long ease. She changed from the comfortable brown flannel shirt and jeans she'd been wearing to the long skirts and shawls that the women in the White Tower still preferred. In the recesses of her mind a cynical voice whispered that the Aes Sedai hung on to the anachronistic clothing purely out of a desire to see novices curtsey to them; it's pretty darn hard to curtsey in jeans.

As Patty made her way through the Tower she was surprised at the feeling of nostalgia the place still held for her. She supposed it wasn't unusual to feel that way after having been a student, then a teacher there for all the years she had. It was one of the reasons she chose not to come here when Dreamwalking. The past was the past; the Purple Tower was her future.

Patty was relieved when she finally came upon Kailenne's private study. She chose to investigate here instead of the desk outside the Amyrlin's office because she figured she'd find more information there. Patty was a little surprised at the disarray in the office. This woman was not organized in the least. There were books and folders flung every which way. Drawers were hanging open; even the furniture was in disorder.

Patty took a step back. There was no way Kailenne would have left her study like this. Disorganization was one thing, but disarray was something else. It looked like this room had been ransacked. But Patty knew for a fact that Hap and Mera had both been in and out of the Tower without leaving a trace of themselves. But who else would have a reason to go through Kailenne's things like this. Unless...a creeping thought sent shivers up Patty's spine...unless, someone had ransacked the office and deliberately left a "hint" that the Purple Tower was behind it. The implications of that left Patty cold.

Patty began to search the room. If she was right, the "clue" left behind couldn't be too obvious, but it couldn't be small enough to miss either. No telltale purple fabric caught in the window or on any drawers. Jeeze, like no one would guess that was a plant. But on the heels of that thought came a more sobering one. At this point, the people of Tar Valon just might believe anything. Almost any "evidence" would be enough to send them into a frenzy. She swallowed around the sudden tightness in her throat and continued to search.

Throughout her investigation of Kailenne's study, Patty found nothing to link the White Tower to the awful rumors spreading about the Purple Tower. But in the end she did find what she was afraid she might-- "evidence" of a Purple Tower break in. Wedged into the edge of a particularly stubborn drawer was a fragment of a purple ring. A flake really. No matter that it couldn't and wouldn't match any ring worn by a Purple Ayende Vera.. They'd never be able to prove that they hadn't "gotten rid" of the chipped ring. This was certainly going to throw a wrinkle in the plan to promote the Purple Tower as a peaceful group.

Patty stood up from the drawer with a sigh. Time to give the bad news to the others. Maybe she could catch Jen if she was still in the Amyrlin's Study. Patty headed off in that direction.

Patty let her body follow the familiar route to the Amyrlin's study while her mind mulled over the implications of what she found in Kairelle's study. The fact that she's found a flake of a purple ring would indicate that it was of serious substance in the waking world. It wasn't like a paper, of little permanence, that practically melted at the touch in Tel'aran'rhiod. The "break in" was bound to cause some serious problems for the members of the Purple Tower in the waking world.

Patty was so wrapped up in her musings that she was actually startled when the form of an Accepted suddenly appeared before her. The Accepted seemed equally as startled and instantly vanished. Patty silently berated herself for woolgathering. She hadn't been surprised like that in Tel'aran'rhiod since her novice days. Angry with herself, Patty marched on toward the Amyrlin's office.

As she approached, she was surprised to hear voices. She wasn't close enough to make them out, but she assumed Vree or one of the others had found something significant and had come to find and report to Jen. Patty quickened her pace hoping to catch at least some of the conversation that was going on; to spare the teller for having to tell it twice.

Cuebiyar Jen

Mayadi smiled condescendingly on Jen. "You've been gone a long time," she replied.

Jen steeled herself; she knew the Amyrlin would soon be flinging saidar about the room like so much ... garbage. "Not that long," she answered. "Not long enough for someone to learn any more than the barest fundamentals of Tel'aran'rhiod, much less walk the dream as adroitly as it appears you do."

"Things have changed," was Mayadi's cool response.

"Apparently." Jen had to watch what she said, where she stepped. She could be as aloof as any Aes Sedai, but Mayadi was a mine field ready to explode at any moment, killing one or both of them.

I have what I need, Jen thought. I can just get out now. But for once she did not leave. Couldn't. This time she had to stand up even straighter for the Purple Tower and all that it represented. For all she hated Mayadi, she could do no harm to the woman. Or anyone. That was not the way to deal with this. That was not the way.

Luckily, the cavalry--so to speak--was arriving. Out of the corner of her eye, Jen glimpsed Patty by the door on her way in. Oh, she hoped it was really her instead of someone simply aimlessly meandering the dream. Trying to let Patty know she saw her while not conveying the message to Mayadi was difficult--near to impossible, in fact. She was caught.

"Who's out there?" Mayadi asked suspiciously. Jen didn't answer. "You're not alone, are you?" Still she said nothing. The wrong word could set her off; the One Power was even stronger in Tel'aran'rhiod and much more volatile than in the waking world, and a beginning Dreamwalker might not know just how powerful she was.

"Mayadi, please, release the Source." Jen's words were patient, calm; but forced through gritted teeth. That may have been it.

Her request went ignored. The Amyrlin simply took in more of the sweet Power, the aura around her only intensifying. "You don't have the right to even speak to me, much less tell me what to do."

"You don't know what you're doing. I'm trying to help you," Jen explained, trying to signal Patty again while the other woman was too angry to care; albeit ineffectively.

"Like hell you are!" Mayadi nearly exploded just as her voice did. A vase on a table nearby shattered, apparently out of nowhere, and reformed itself before she could take notice. And that's when Jen realized what she had to do ... to get her to release the Source, she had to get her to channel it. If only for her own safety.

"Is this a test? Is that what this is? Is this some sort of bloody flaming test to see how much of you I can flaming take? Well, that's it! I can't take it! Go ahead!" She kept shouting, now holding saidar herself. Jen deftly wove a thick shield of Air, crafted to absorb any Power directed against it. "There you go. There you go. Take your best shot!"

Mayadi's flows were absorbed by the shield, as was planned, leaving an expression of surprise on her once darkened features. This was soon replaced by pure anger. All Aes Sedai calm had been thrown out the proverbial window only to shatter on the ground beneath it. This was ... not what Jen wanted. She only wanted her to let go!

"Would you just listen to me!" Jen asked firmly, really more of a command than a question.

"You listen to me. I am the Amyrlin Seat. I am! Nobody is to be rummaging around in my office. I don't care if you're the Queen of Andor or the Creator Himself--nobody has any business in here but me. Me!"

"Yes, Mother," Jen mimicked, curtsying deeply. It was hopeless anyhow. There was no way out other than to just go with it. Just go with it.

"That's enough! I've taken every last bit from you and your so-called Purple Tower! All of you are to be taken into the White Tower as novices. Every last one of you! And believe me, I will make sure you never progress past that point!"

Jen tried not to laugh. It was easy, for in that moment, Mayadi hurled her last ounce of ever-so-volatile saidar; and Patty, in a final effort to save the home she loved so dearly ran in to quell the argument.

Jen instantly awoke, finding herself back in the Purple Tower. In what used to be Moiraine Damodred High School. In her room. In what used to be a history classroom ... the irony was that a few textbooks had been left behind, textbooks and posters that glorified the White Tower. Always ready to please the Aes Sedai. All hailing the ruler of the free world, the Amyrlin Seat. And now she found that Mayadi Sedai, the ever-loved Sedai of the Green Ajah, was not truly Green ... but Black. Rumors had flown about such a society since there was a White Tower itself, and often denied. Oh, it had come out a couple times, but Mayadi was Aes Sedai like any other, and had spoken the Three Oaths on that archaic Oath Rod. The only Aes Sedai not bound to it were of Black Ajah. And Mayadi's excessive flinging about of saidar in Tel'aran'rhiod could only mean that she was not everything she claimed to be.

This was worth more than any other information that could be had out of a file folder in some stashed away closet. Still, Jen hoped that they could get their hands on the folder somehow. She hoped that the others had better luck in Tel'aran'rhiod. She hoped Patty was okay, that she wasn't hurt..... Patty!

Veritably leaping from her bed, Jen raced down the hallway to Patty's quarters, harbored in the Indigo section, what used to be the English block, clustered around the library. She found her Anima, her friend ... and something was terribly wrong. Somehow Jen felt the tables reversed; it had been Patty who had counseled Jen when they were Novices and later Accepted together in the White Tower, always asking what was wrong with Jen's wayward psyche.

"Patty ... what's wrong?"

Anima Patty

As Patty approached the Amyrlin's study the voices became louder and more angry. She could now make out Jen's voice clearly enough, but the other voice wasn't clicking. It wasn't one of the others who had come to Tel'aran'rhiod with them. The voice replied to Jen, "Things have changed."

"Apparently." was Jen's reply. Patty was close enough at this point to see Jen clearly through the doorway and finally the other voice clicked. She jumped back in time to avoid being seen as Mayadi demanded, "Who's out there?"

Light! She's talking to Mayadi! Is she out of her bloody mind?

Patty could feel Mayadi reaching for the One Power. This was bad business. With the history between Mayadi and Jen it was likely they'd fry each other right here in Tel'aran'rhiod. Luckily, Jen seemed to have the upper hand and be holding her temper, while Mayadi was on the verge of losing control completely.

Patty ran through her options. Getting help was out; Vree and the others could be anywhere in Tel'aran'rhiod or even awake at this point. Getting involved seemed the only course of action.

Even as this ran through her head, the discussion in the next room was getting increasingly heated. Jen had now lost her temper as well and was screaming at Mayadi to "take her best shot." An enormous amount of saidar was being wielded. Mayadi, in her rage, was reaching for even more of the source. She was completely livid and screaming, "That's enough! I've taken every last bit from you and your so-called Purple Tower! All of you are to be taken into the White Tower as novices. Every last one of you! And believe me, I will make sure you never progress past that point!"

Patty made her move. Perhaps a distraction would be enough to break the cycle. Jen saw her coming; Patty could see her eyes light up. She almost looked like she wanted to laugh. Patty ran into the room and called out "Mayadi!" drawing attention to herself and away from Jen.

Jen winked out of Tel'aran'rhiod. Patty hardly noticed. The full brunt of the Amyrlin's out of control rage had fallen on an unintended victim. The anger, the humiliation and even the fear that Jen had caused Mayadi had finally found an outlet. In one, overwhelming blast of stilling power. The moment was endless and over too fast.

Patty's forward motion carried her to the floor as she wrapped her hands around her head in a futile effort to stop what was happening. Time seemed to slow down unbearably. All her defenses were brutally battered down by the onslaught of Mayadi's rage. And then, it was over. The timeless moment too quickly done.

It was gone.

The One Power. It was gone.

Out of reach.

The last thing Patty heard before waking was Mayadi's triumphant laugh.

Patty woke in her bed. Frozen. A dream. A bad dream. It couldn't be true. She reached for the source willing it to be there.

It was gone. Not simply out of reach. Gone. Completely.

Patty didn't realize she fairly leaped out of bed. Again and again she tried to reach the source. Gone. Gone.

A word whispered through the corners of her mind and froze her soul. STILLED.

Jen came rushing in and found her there. "Patty...what's wrong?"

A horrified moan escaped her lips and she sank to the floor in much the same position she's been in, in the Amyrlin's study. Hands over her head, she rocked herself. Jen rushed to her side and threw her arms around her friend. "Oh Light, Patty! What happened? What did she do to you?"

From within the circle of Jen's arms Patty managed to whisper one word. "Stilled".

The despair, fear, anger and loss broke through the shock and Patty wept brokenhearted like a child in her mother's arms.

Cuebiyar Jen

Jen just stared. She couldn't believe it. No, this couldn't be ... Stilled? It wasn't possible. It just wasn't! There was no way! That ... no, things like that, terrible horrible things ... they didn't happen to people like Patty. Not to good people. Stilling was supposed to happen to criminals, a punishment for a capital offense. People who had done ... unimaginable things. And hardly even then. Patty did not deserve this. NOBODY did. Nobody ... Jen didn't know what to say. What could she say? Nothing could console or help her. Nothing.

So she said nothing. And sat beside Patty on the floor. Salt stung her eyes, and she tried, however in vain, not to cry. "I'm sorry," she whispered, hardly aware of what she said or did. Like some dream she could wake from. "I'm sorry." Over and over again, though she was at fault for nothing. "I'm sorry." They sat like that, crying, rocking back and forth for what seemed like forever. There was nothing either woman could do. Light, she didn't even want to think about it. And now ... now the White Tower had the upper hand.

But somehow that hardly mattered. The matter at hand was Patty. She needed something to do, some way to fill the ... the void in her life that the absence of the Source had created. "You ... you're still the Anima," she said, knowing it probably wouldn't help, but it was at least something. Even if it was nothing. "You have to be. We need you. You're ... you're always Patty."

She looked up at Jen, tears still staining her face. "Thank you," she said halfheartedly. That was half of her ... half of her was dead now.

"I ... um, I think you and me both could use some real sleep," Jen suggested softly, trying not to start crying again.

With the same halfhearted, not-really-there attitude she'd used to speak, Patty nodded. "Probably." And Jen turned out the room to go back to hers. Nothing was the same anymore.

Jen arrived back at her room and stood by her window, looking through the blinds. Tar Valon was alive with so many things, as it had always been. And Patty ... Patty was not. She sighed, snapping the blinds shut, and sat down on her bed. Reclining against the pillows she's brought with her from the Purple Annex, she took a careful survey of the room, looking for some hint, some clue, something. Books stacked in tall piles against the wall were of no use. Most were novels, a few antiquated textbooks, some actually pertinent to the Purple Tower's activities. None could possibly mention anything of use. It was for the best if she would simply take her own advice and get some sleep. All the problems would be there tomorrow, to be solved then.

Using a thin flow of Air, Jen flicked the lightswitch off and lay there in the dark with her mind and the Source. It was so sweet; she held on to it longer than need be. How could anyone live without it? It had to be so hard ... too hard .... She stared up at the tiles on the ceiling, the sort with pinpricks of dark dots sprinkled throughout them. She wished there was a ceiling fan in the old classroom. She could watch it spin softly, its quiet whooshing gently putting her to sleep. There had been ceiling fans in the Purple Annex. She would have to go out and buy one; a nice portable fan to stick in the corner. Eventually. She wondered if they all still thought the Purple Tower lived in the Annex yet. She'd have to ask Vree. Tomorrow.

Jen sighed to herself again, heavier, there in the dark. She had to go to sleep. Looking over at her clock, glowing red numbers insisted it was 2:57 AM. Too late. Or early, depending on how one looked at it.

Why had everyone left her? It wasn't meant personally, Jen knew, but she certainly thought of it that way. Dieda and Emily had both left; though Emily much earlier. Lia and Haplo and Jak were off to Shienar for reasons unknown to Jen, and Davidson ... she worried about him, probably more than everyone else, but with adequate cause. It wasn't like a man (least of all him) to propose to a woman and then simply vanish almost without a trace after she'd answered.

For one of the first times in her life, Jen felt truly helpless. Even as a novice, she was powerful, though in a different manner of speaking. She'd always had herself. Her ... her pride. And now she was the Cuebiyar of the Purple Tower. She was its leader, its heart. She was its life-force. She had been in charge of the Purple Ajah. She always had to have some sort of power, that was just how she was. And now ... now she was powerless. Helpless.

Ignoring her own advice, Jen went downstairs trying not to wake anyone. Walking silently across the length of the old school, she made her way to the auditorium. Fortunately, the piano had not yet been moved back to the chorus room and it still stood in the middle of the stage. The curtains were open. She stood there, looking out over the empty auditorium, her mind wandering. Thinking of nothing. And everything. And nothing.

She moved the bench to the right, so the left edge was at the center. She sat at the bench, angled sort of sideways, and began playing.

She played nothing but mere notes, simple broken chords in a basic chord progression ... a minor, g minor, F major, g minor. A melody formed itself over the background. She grew increasingly angry as she played, and before long the notes came pounded emphatically, ringing out over the auditorium, and she belted her angry words to a nonexistent audience.