Xena Season 3

Xena

Season 3

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This page was last updated on 02/20/01.

The Furies

03/07/1999

Xena: "Life is a joke! It's a barroom joke at that! And you want to know the punch line? The punch line is that we all end up as food for the worms. ... I leave you to entertain the gods. I'm retiring from the stage."

Xena: "I've cut off the flow of blood to your brain and other pertinent body parts."

Xena: "I'm a lunatic with lethal combat skills."

Xena: "I love the smell of warrior sweat in the morning."

Been There, Done That

Joxer: "Hey, if you need a big goose egg, I'm your man."

The Dirty Half Dozen

Darnelle: "That's got to be uncomfortable."

Gabrielle: "I'm a princess."

Deliverer

Gabrielle: "Everything's changed ... everything."

Gabrielle (to Xena): "You know her? Of course, you know her. You're a 'Who's Who' of Warriors."

Gabrielle's Hope

Xena: "I'm going to slap these bitches silly."

The Debt, Part I

The Debt, Part II

King of Assassins

Gabrielle: "I've been grabbed more times than the Golden Fleece."

Warrior... Priestess... Tramp

Gabrielle: "If I have to go the rest of my life without companionship, knowing myself won't be a problem."

The Quill Is Mighter...

Gabrielle: "I can write anything and it comes true."

Maternal Instincts

Xena: "You lied to me .... I trusted you and you lied to me. My son is dead ... because of you."
Gabrielle: "I love you Xena."

Bitter Suite

Ares: "Nothing more need be said. Ding dong. The bitch is dead."

Gabrielle (to Xena): "You killed me!"

Gabrielle: "Only heroes wind up here. ... Dead heroes. ... Dead naked heroes."

One Against An Army

Gabrielle: "I want so much to be like you."
Xena: "And I want to be like you."

Xena: "I don't accept defeat."

Forgiven

Gabrielle (to Xena): "Oh no. I knew you were evil, but you were obnoxious too?"

Gabrielle (to self): "The world's a bowl of cherries. Good night."

Xena (to Tara): "Blondie, er, Gabrielle here is my partner and that's the way it's going to stay."

Xena: "You want to work with me, you don't kick people when they're unconscious."
Tara: "All right, fine. As long as I know the rules. It's ok to knock them out after you put the pinch on them, but no smacking them after."

King Con

Gabrielle (to Xena): "You wouldn't dare, not to an injured woman!"

When In Rome...

09/11/2000

Julius Caesar: "So the legend is lacking. Not quite the god the stories made you out to be."
Vercinix: "Mortals can be conquered, Caesar but you�ll never conquer Gaul!"

Pompy: "An army of citizens up against the hardened legions of Pompy the Magnus. Oh, what a battle that�d be."

Caesar: "Xena, this is impossible. How can you j -- this is Rome. You can�t -- you --"
Xena: "There�s a sentence in there just dying to get out. Huh. Sorry about your soldiers. We were playing tag in the Forum, and I got to tell you, they don�t lose well."
Pompy: "This is Xena?"
Caesar: "Yes, uh, an old friend. Uh, enemy, friend. I forget where we left off."
Xena: "We weren�t on speaking terms."

Xena: "Gabrielle, this is no time for you to have a crisis of faith. You have got to trust me."

Gabrielle: "I cannot send a man to his death."

Pompy: "So, why do they call you the Warrior Princess?"
Xena: "Because 'Caesar' was taken."
Pompy: [Laughs] "I like you."
Xena: "Don�t -- I�m not a likeable person."
Pompy: "Neither am I. But even common enemies can make friends overnight."
Xena: "Common enemies? Anyone in particular?"
Pompy: "Don�t assume all of Rome loves Caesar. These people are impressed with his victory over Vercinix. But there are those that wouldn�t cry over Caesar�s death."

Crassus: "... I�m a warrior.... Many times, if I�d told my soldiers my plans I would�ve had a mutiny."
Gabrielle: "Why is that? Do your soldiers have something against murdering innocent people?"
Crassus: "Innocent? There are no innocents on the battlefield."

Caesar: "Prison hardly seems the place to tell you this, but-- you look incredible. Roman finery becomes you."
Xena: "We�re not going down that road; this is business."
Caesar: "It�s never just business between us, Xena. It�s hatred, war, conflict -- and it�s love."
Xena: "I got to go to the bathroom. Are we done yet?�

Gabrielle: "You are making me be a part of murder -- and you�re being so casual about it."
Xena: "It�s not about being casual. It�s about focus. ... This is about saving a good man."

Crassus (to Gabrielle re: Xena): "I thought you were different from her. I thought you had a regard for life, no matter whose."

Pompy (to Xena): "If you�re anything like me, you feel naked without a weapon. Whether you use it or not -- there�s something reassuring about the weight and feel of a solid blade."

Pompy (to Xena re: Caesar's interest in Gabrielle): "... it�s your friend he wants. He seems to think she has some sort of power over you. He wants that power."

Caesar: "I can�t believe you would double-cross me just as I was about to
double-cross you."
Xena: "How�d you know?"
Caesar: "You have one obsession, Xena. That�s me. And because of it, I have you, and I have Vercinix. And somewhere out there is an irritating blonde about to follow a plan that no longer exists."

Caesar (re: crowd at Vercinix execution): "Look at those people. Look at them. Each one of them considers himself an individual, with independent thought and movement. Yet together, they�re like sheep."

Gabrielle: "I don�t know what�s happening to me, Xena. I did something that I never thought I�d be able to do. I played judge, jury, and executioner."

Xena: "How many more times are you going to follow me into battle, huh? How many more times am I going to hurt you? You are the most dear thing to me in all the world. And yet, instead of protecting you -- "
Gabrielle: "I�m here, because I want to be here. I love you, Xena."
Xena: "I love you, too, Gabrielle."