Every where I go these days it seems that I am surrounded by idiots. People that just don't seem to understand the basic principles that most of us use to get through life. I'm talking about those that get in your way when your in a hurry, people that don't seem to understand how the most basic of appliances work, people that have grating personalities and people for whom logic is a foreign concept.

I used to get angry and frustrated at these people, but that didn't stop them proliferating. So now I go by a new policy. If you can't beat them, join them!

On the following pages you will find my guide to becoming a moron. There will be hints and tips to help you through your transitional time and also axioms that will help you not only to act like an idiot, but to actually think like one. You can't fake stupidity - you have to actually be stupid.

Of course there are no set rules to being a great idiot. I can only act as a guide into this confusing realm. You will find that the best idiots are those that don't think about it too much. In fact, the less you think the better an idiot you will be.

Most morons can be found wandering aimlessly about town, so it's imperative that you get out as much as possible and inflict your idiocy upon others. Try not to have a purpose however. People with a purpose tend to walk faster and tend not to have that vacant stare that no self respecting idiot would be caught without.

Remember: people who look like they are trying to get somewhere are your best targets.

Delay them, get in their way, ask them stupid questions or just bump into them. If you can cause them a slight injury then you have done you job well.
Different locations call for different tactics. Your surroundings can often dictate what acts of stupidity one can perform.

So lets look a a few different locations and see how we can be an idiot at each.

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