TRANNIES BALLOT
I am a big fan of Robert Jung's TRANNIES awards, and I must thank him for the recognition spot at the end of this year's list. Since he made note of the 'off the cuff' stories I threw into my ballot, I present my ballot here for your reading spasm - er - I mean pleasure...
As I noted to Robert in E-Mail messages, I am fairly new at doing this 'net thing, and haven't done much in the ways of MUSHes. I have also done little in reading the comic book version of Transformers as well. Those sections of the ballot have been deleted, as I skipped many of those questions.
Rob also made me redo a number of my ballot answers (mostly because I gave either too vague an answer, or groups of characters, rather than a single character). These secondary ballots will appear after my first response.
The THREE short scripts I quickly slapped together while perusing this ballots appear on separate pages. A link appears where I originally put them, but if you wish to see them now, click on the following...
THESE ARE THE VOYAGES OF THE TRANSFORMERS
SAILOR MOON VS. MEGATRON
VECTOR GODFATHER
Any aditional notes I added after the Trannie Ballot was entered appear in { } brackets.
PART I: CHARACTERS
*** Absolutely the Most Favorite Character of All Time ***
Optimus Prime - But Pre-Matrix drained - Don't mess with the boss! After the matrix was emptied he became too woozy. Almost whimpy. No wonder everyone who wrote about the matrix refilled that thing as soon as they could! No one needs a half-filled Prime!
*** Favorite Character(s), any Faction ***
Rhinox - This guy is just TOO mellow... It gives me the feeling that he's hiding something. Plus he can be really big, mean and nasty when needed. The guy's got great back-story potential.
Starscream - Ya need a troublemaker, period.
Megatron (Original) - Rhinox may have a nasty chain-gun (sometimes 2!), but he can't leave gaping holes in things like old Meggy's Fusion Nasty!
Airazor - Yowzaa!
Perceptor - Someone was needed to keep all that pseudo-science sounding like fact!
Wheeljack - The guy has GOT to have a streak of masochism!
*** Favorite Autobot/Maximal/Good Robot(tm) ***
Bumblebee - Hey, someone had to be the brunt of all the trouble that happened to the Autobots!
*** Favorite Decepticon/Predacon/Bad Robot(tm) ***
Starscream - The guy's got potential!
*** Favorite Gestalt/Combiner ***
Superion - The Autobot's idea of Voltron (And I'll form THE HEAD!)
NOTE: Because I was writing stories prior to getting on the Internet and finding what you called critters like Superion, I refer to them as Multibots.
PS: Does Omega Supreme count as a gestalt? And if so, doesn't Optimus as well? Or does he just eat Roller and spit him out of hyperspace through the garbage chute when needed? Hummm.... CHAT ROOM!
*** Favorite Subteam/Group ***
Omnibots - The most unloved, unknown, unseen, unwanted, unwashed... er... strike that last one...
*** Favorite Non-Toy Character ***
Teletran 1 (or 2) - Sometimes it made MY confuser look smart!
*** Character You Most Want to Be Friends With ***
Bumblebee - Hey, when they make a T-Form of a '67 Chevy Impala, I'll change my mind. Until then, the Bug's my bud!
*** Character You Most Want to Be Lovers(!) With ***
Let's just say that Rob USED my answer... ;-)
Go to Rob's TRANNIES 97 PAGE to see these...
{I wonder if RatTrap ever found his devoted fan?}
*** Character You Most Want to Be ***
Kup - Sometimes crotchety is good. That, and being the font of all knowledge, or at least faking your way through it... Wait a minute... Kup IS the Matrix!
*** Character You Most Want To Lobotomize With a Runaway Arc Wielder ***
All together now - WHEELIE!! (At least when you say his name loud, you sound like you're having fun!) The Barney of the T-Form set. Yippie-Skippie!
As Bob Barker would say, "Don't forget to get your Wheelie spayed or neutered!" - Oh, THAT'S why he SOUNDS like that!
NOTE - Honorable Mention goes to Daniel - Wheelie's partner in crime... GET 'IM OUT OF ARCEE's HEAD!!
*** Most Annoying Character ***
I'd have to split on this one. It would be either that girl that the boys finally strapped with tape in "B.O.T.", or anyone involved in "Carnage in C Minor". Since you're asking for one character, give it to the girl.
*** Most Overexposed Character ***
Starscream - Not that I think he wasn't worth the effort. Granted, his job was to cause chaos in a plot moving way... But because they (being the animated series' writers/producers/creators) kept Screamer in the forefront as chief bolt-twister, it kept stories based around other Decepticons to a minimum (during the pre-movie seasons). For example, there never was a story set around Thundercracker or Skywarp. Other Decepticons (INCLUDING old Meggy) would occasionally have an episode set around them, but somewhere, Starscream would pop up as a plot runner. Oh well, what's to be done with a plot plotter?
*** Best Character Name ***
Optimus Prime - It invokes a feeling of stature, positive thinking and power... and is better than calling him Freightliner Prime, since that was what they based the design of his original cab on!
*** Worst Character Name ***
Optimus Primal - I've got to agree with Joseph Brogan from last year's TRANNIES (tm). How many of us, when we first saw the Beast Wars Twin Pack saw that name, and VERBALLY said "You've GOT to be KIDDING!?" If it didn't cause people to look at you strange, then they were probably looking at the same pack that you were, saying the same thing!
(A close follow up would be Convoy - Where did the folks in Japan find THAT name, an old C.W. McCall record?)
*** The Bionic Badass Award, for the most intimidating Transformers character ***
Shockwave - The guy gave no pity - Would blast you in a nanosecond - And he wouldn't gloat over it. If you ran afoul of him, you might as well kiss your sorry caboose goombye!
NOTE - Under the category of Bionic Badass - Plead Temporary Insanity Award, it has got to go Optimus - WHO WANTS SOME - Primal for his berserker spasout. I'm surprised they didn't give him two of Rhinox's chain guns for added effect!
*** The Sagely Speaker Award, for the most quotable character ***
Optimus Primal - He's current, and he's full of sound bites. (There's a spray for that you know!)
PART IIa: TRANSFORMERS TOYS
*** Best Toy of the Year ***
Machine Wars Sandstorm - Granted, it was a re-issue of an European T-Form, and they disabled his missile firing engines, but for ease of transformation, size and overall looks, he's a neat robot.
NOTE - If you're doing a static display of this Autobot, a pair of Hound's spare missiles fit into the jet engines/missile launchers holes nicely. Don't push them in totally - you'll never get them out!
*** Best Toy Ever ***
Oie! You're gonna make me pick ONE?
I love my tape decks - Optimus is cool in many modes - But the ultimate is still Jetfire (You think the folks from MACROSS are still ticked that T-Forms snitched their Veritech?) It's interesting that a figure that came from BanDai (and not Takara) is one of the more popular figures.
NOTE - I have to give an honorable mention for the Best TAKARA Toy made to the Ultra Gorilla Optimus Primal. He's as large as Jetfire, has more gadgets than the jet, and poses real well!
*** Best Toy Gimmick ***
1st Targetmasters - (Sureshot, Pointblank, Crosshairs, Hot Rod, Kup, Blurr, Triggerhappy, Misfire, Slugslinger, Scourge and Cyclonus) - You got a decent 'bot with a good sized transforming weapon/Nebulan. (The second series got chintzy in their plastic, and the Nebulans got too small.)
*** Best Toy Box Art ***
Sky Lynx - Big box with a good representation of the figure inside.
*** Worst Toy of the Year ***
Machine Wars Optimus Prime - Not that the toy inside has anything wrong with it (being a reissue and all, again with disabled weapons), but the box-art flat out LIES. They may have placed Optimus' head on the drawing, but that SURE ISN'T HIS HEAD ON THE FIGURE! (Looks more like Ultra Magnus!)
NOTE - Also with Machine Wars, anyone but me notice that the instructions included with them are completely screwed up? Don't even TRY to follow the decal list - in most cases they only gave you half of the placement instructions!
*** Worst Toy Ever ***
Battlechargers - Stiff armed and no place to put their weapons when in their car mode.
*** Worst Toy Gimmick ***
ACTION MASTERS! - What were they thinking? Granted, they had some great sculpting of the figures, but removing their transformations? Gack me!
*** Most Complicated Toy ***
Beast Wars Multibots/Combiners/Gestalts what have you - Silverbolt does some IMPROBABLE (but not impossible) bends to make the head of Magnaboss with Prowl. And Tripredacus keeps disconnecting his lower half if not attached just right! (I hate it when that happens!)
*** The Earth Day Award, for the best reuse of an existing character's name ***
Machine Wars Sandstorm - He exchanged one helicopter for a better helicopter - granted he lost his triple change car mode... Some things are for the better!
*** The Grave-Spinning Award, for worst reuse of an existing character's name ***
Machine Wars Soundwave - Ea? What's a missile carrier got to do with communications? A neat little carrier, but Hasbro could have named it after someone else!
NOTE - Honorary Follow-Up Award - GoBots Soundwave - Same reasons.
*** The Encore Award, for the Transformers toy you most want to see re-released ***
Swoop - Because I didn't get one!
*** The Kibbles-n-Bits-n-Bits Award, for the part(s) of a Transformers toy that are the easiest to lose ***
Omega Supreme - Sure, you can loose any of the guns or missiles from any of the other T-Forms, they still look good... lose one of those yellow clips that keep his armor on his body, and you're stuck in rocket mode!
NOTE - Honorable Mention goes to Jetfire's red strap-on armor. BanDai made it a bit thin, which did make it look nice on a display model, but made it the first thing to break if played with. (Speaking of Jetfire - does anyone know what that small black square piece is for? It looks like the gun is suppose to fit into it, but the instruction do not describe it, or say where it goes...)
*** The Dream Toy Award, for the Transformers toy that was never made but should have been ***
Having finally seen the Unicron prototype on the web, that could be my first choice... (Unfortunately he does look like a basketball with arms and legs!) Of course there is the Autobot ladies... They would be my choice.
NOTE - Another award could be the "If I Ran Hasbro Toy Group Award" - My selection would be to have the crew doing their Winners Circle line of vehicles to come up with a series of WORKING 1:18th scale die-cast models of their 1984 Mini Car line for the upcoming 15th anniversary of Transformers - How 'bout that?
*** The Blackwell Award, for the Transformers toy with the best color scheme ***
Cheetor (Original) - Hey, basic yellow with spots... Can't go wrong with that! And look, you've got your choice of eye colors!
PART IIb: TRANSFORMERS MERCHANDISE
*** Best Merchandise Item of All Time ***
Transformers Videos on Tape - For all those fans (like myself) who only learned recently that T-Forms kept going in Japan, and have never seen any of these episodes! WHO'S GOT SOME!?
*** Worst Merchandise Item of All Time ***
I don't know of any. Put a Cybertronian shield on it and it will be good! - er, but not underwear... AH! Underoos! There you've got one! Optimus Prime under your shirt - Megatron pointing his fusion cannon just where you wish he wasn't! OUCH!
*** Funniest Merchandise Item of All Time ***
Megatron Gumball Bank (Arrow Plastics Div. of Damon Industries) - Megatron dispensing sugary multi-colored orbs!? Say it ain't so! And you DON'T want to know where the gumballs come out of!
*** The "Justifiable Murder" Award, for the most desired merchandise item you want ***
I'd hold this award for actual figures, not merchandise... Original Megatron, Swoop and Original Roadbuster at prices that I can AFFORD are on my list...
*** The Stoned-Out Marketeers Award, for the strangest merchandise item ever made ***
See my reference to Gumball Megatron above...
*** The Fantasy Franchise Award, for the merchandise item that you most wish someone would make ***
Lamborghini or Volkswagen to convert one of their vehicles into something that actually transforms (hopefully into a robot, and not a pile of junk!)
PART IIIa: CARTOONS AND ANIMATED EPISODES
*** Best Episode of the Year ***
The Spark - It gave us good insights into Rhinox, showed Cheetor learning some responsibilities (plus giving him a chance at revenge over Blackarachnia for that face kick she gave him in Double Jeopardy {I'll take Severe Face Kicks for $200, Alex!}), and giving us Airazor.
*** Best Multiple-Episode Series/Story Arc of the Year ***
Other Voices, Part 1 thru Coming of the Fuzors, Part 2 - Since the new season is to be an arc, one must stop somewhere...
*** Best Episode Ever ***
Heavy Metal War - It has one of the best fight scenes in the early series, and a good thumping ending. It also shows that you can't melt a Cybertronian in lava. (Anyone want to dig Terrorsaur and Scorponok out of their hot baths?)
Web World is a close runner-up. It was one of the few stories that hit for an emotional response rather than a slam-bang blow 'em up approach.
Call of the Primitives has great animation, but it whimps out with a lame ending. You can just see where the writers are going "What do we do now? Errrr.... Oh, why not just throw a switch and run it all ba ckwards?" Erf!
*** Best Multiple-Episode Series/Story Arc Ever ***
Other Voices P 1 & 2 - A great cliff-hanger ending.
*** Funniest Episode ***
Microbots - Megatron violated! The look on his face was worth it.
NOTE - A VERY close runner-up is Bob Forward's The Low Road. A border on the gross.
*** Best Quote ***
Optimus Primal - "Just what we need - a visit from the landlord!" - Other Voices P 1
Airazor - "Lights are on, but nobody's home - except for the automated defence systems of course!" - Call of the Wild
Airazor - "She stoops to conquer!" - Call of the Wild
Cheetor - "And they call ME the immature one!" - The Low Road
Optimus Primal - "They'll either learn to work together or they'll destroy each other..."
Rhinox - "HUURRRRRP!!!" BLAM!!! CRASH!!!
Optimus Primal - "Right now, I don't really care which!" CRASH!!! - The Low Road
Waspinator - "The idiot does not respond! The idiot is comatose!" - Dark Designs
But my choice for #1 is:
Brawn - "Aw, hexagonal nuts!" - Roll For It
*** Best Cel Animation in an Episode ***
Call of the Primitives has the best overall animation (especially Predaking), even with its weak ending. The same crew seemed to have done Web World as well. This was where we got to see Cyclonus do a real neat snap-transform as he's leaving the planet.
But my choice is still Heavy Metal Wars. The battle sequence between Optimus and Megatron, then Devastator and the Dinobots still ranks as the best grouping in one episode.
*** Best Computer Animation in a BEAST WARS Episode ***
Call of the Wild - Hey, the producer of the show BETTER have the best episode! Airazor's flight into the Predacon base was nicely done.
NOTE - A pair of close runner-ups in my book would be the dream sequence in The Spark, and the final battle sequence between the blind Maximals and Waspinator and Terrorsaur in Dark Voyage.
*** Best Character Voice ***
Airazor - Nice and sultry!
'Course there's good old Optimus Prime - a legend in his own voice.
But I want to know how you get a southern twang out of a Toyota Minivan? Any comments Ironhide? (Hey, he's an elephant now! Just think how silly THAT would look!)
*** Best Fight Scene in an Episode ***
Once again I expound about the battle sequence in Heavy Metal Wars between Optimus and Megatron.
In the CGI world, the dream battle sequence in The Web is my favorite.
*** Best Series Opener/Title Sequence ***
2nd Transformers with flying logos and (as pointed out in last year's Trannies[tm]) Omega Supreme squashing Blitzwing.
NOTE - There was two or three episodes where this version of the titles ran WITHOUT the singers belting out "THE TRANSFORMERS! - MORE THAN MEETS..." yadda yadda... it just had the thumping music and the sound effects for the animation. These are unique and interesting to watch.
*** Worst Episode of the Year ***
Call of the Wild - Yes, I voted it Best Animation of the Year. Its got great animation and direction. But, sorry Bob, I have trouble with the story, AND Megatron Bwannah in the hunting chair. I can just see Perceptor coming up to Tigatron in a fit yelping that he put those restraints in the original Maximals because the prototype Maximals ATE their bunk-mates during the night without them KNOWING it!
*** Worst Episode Ever ***
Carnage! Carnage! Carnage! C Minor will never be the same!
KREMZEEK! comes really close as well. The critter was just plain Wheelie annoying!
Honorary Mention must also go to Fight or Flee. Rodimus' explanation that the Paratronians would prefer Cybertron better because it's not so 'perfect' wasn't just mean, it showed Rodimus as a heartless (Okay - energon processor-less) cretin! Plus, why is he smiling while doing the countdown? Where's Shanygn to give him a mental kick?
*** Worst Multiple-Episode Series/Story Arc Ever ***
Five-Faces of Darkness - It has some redeeming plots to it, and it does kick off Generation 1.2 well enough. But all it managed to do for the new leader, Rodimus, was to make him look like a brooding whimp! This could have been prevented, or at least explained if they had introduced Hot Rod in some of the late Generation 1.1 episodes prior to the movie. But, so much for being the Monday-Morning-Autobot!
*** Worst Character Voice ***
Hey! It's the Return of WHEELIE BASHING TIME!
*** Character Who Should Get/Should Have Gotten More Air Time ***
The Autobot Ladies - ONE episode?! And Optimus sure forgot about Elita after winning Cybertron back from the Decepticons (and of course, after he was revived)! Maybe their hide-e-hole was right under where Unicron's big old right hand came down when he slapped Cybertron silly!
Honorable Mention should go to Dr. Archaville - Suuuper Genius! Where'd he go after Starscream semi-changed him into a cybernetic misfit?
*** Character Who Should Get/Should Have Gotten Less Air Time ***
BARNEY! I mean WHEELIE!
*** Best Animation in a Transformers Toy Commercial ***
Targetmasters - It was so good they used it in the last version of the opening titles for the shows (the ones hosted by Puppetmaster Optimus Prime).
*** The "Screw the Specs, Part 1" Award, for the toy character with the biggest difference between his tech-spec *** description and his cartoon depiction
Soundwave (Original) - Of all the Decepticons, Old S'wave is probably the most LOYAL. The specs make him sound like he's about to sonic blast Meggy in a second! 'Course it COULD all be a ruse!
*** The Celluloid Cretin Award, for the character with the most disappointing characterization in the cartoon ***
Rodimus Prime - Birgit Staebler has done wonders with him! I mean, what happened between the end of the movie, and the start of Generation 1.2 in the series? At the end of the movie he was jocular and happy. By the first 5 minutes into Five Faces' he's that brooding somber yo-yo we see during the rest of Gen 1.2! Get a life!
*** The Cool Cameo Award, for the celebrity who you'd like to have doing the voice for a Transformers character ***
GOTO These are the Voyages of the Transformers!
*** The "Knock It Off!" Award, for the most annoying mannerism/habit of a character in a cartoon ***
Wheelie - breathing
PART IIIb: TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE
*** Best Character in the Movie ***
Movie Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime - He/They are/is (?) so different than what was portrayed in the Generation 1.2 series.
*** Best Movie Scene ***
Optimus' and Megatron's battle sequence starting from Optimus leaving the shuttle to Rumble carrying Megatron's blaster off to Astrotrain.
*** Best Movie Quote ***
Springer - "I've got better things to do tonight than DIE!"
*** Best Movie Death Scene ***
Starscream - Sh-sh-sh-SHATTERED!
*** Worst Character in the Movie ***
Poor old Wheelie's really getting a bashing around here, ain't he? (He is a HE, isn't it?)
*** Worst Movie Death Scene ***
I'll have a Prowl-Melt on Rye! That shot had to scare the willies out of any young kids who saw it in the theaters!
Honorable Mention has to go to the Pile-O-Autobots shot in Autobot City when Arcee is dragging in Windcharger's body. Mostly because we never see what did them in! (I think the toilets backed up again! Faulty plumbing does in the Autobots!)
*** Best Song from the Movie/Soundtrack ***
Dare to be Stupid - It describes many of the actions shown so well!
*** Character Who Should Not Have Died in the Movie, but Did ***
Wheeljack - Pile-O-Autobots claimed a whole bunch of favorites. Many were flat-out pointless. But this was probably because a higher power (the High and Mighty Hassenfield Brothers) decreed that they be axed.
*** Character Who Should Have Died in the Movie, but Didn't ***
I could just say WHEELIE again, but I'd WHEELIE be starting to WHEELIE repeat myself...
Reality check here... Hasbro et. al. wouldn't go to all the trouble to introduce a new character in the movie just to squash them. It would HAVE to have been an older character. Sorry, Wheelie stays (ugh!).
They could have done in Omega Supreme - at least that would have told us WHY he never showed up to keep Devastator from making gaping holes in Autobot City!
{NOTE - It's not that I don't like Omega... but they really missed out on a great "blaze of glory" chance here.}
*** The Celluloid Pavlov Award, for the one line in the movie that's most likely to be chanted by an audience of fans *** watching it
Without a doubt, that classic of Intergalactic Greetings - "TIME OUT! TIME OUT!! TIME OUT!!!" (Practice Droid)
Just kidding - Bah Weep Gran Na Nin Ni BONG!
PART IV: COMICS AND MANGA
I do not have any of these, and have never really examined them when I have seen them. They are part of the Southern Command's archives. Therefore, I'll skip this section.
PART V: NET.FANDOM
Again, I'm new at the Internet scene. I haven't even attempted to get into a newsgroup or chat room. Many of these selection I'll have to skip.
*** The TransFan of the Year Award, for the most friendly/helpful/courteous net.transfan ***
This one's for you Mr. Jung!
*** Best nom du net, for the net.transfan with the most interesting handle ***
Wonko The Sane
*** Best .sig ***
I'll skip this, but let me know when someone comes up with a dancing baby that T-Forms into Bumblebee - dancing of course!
*** Best Transformers net.resource ***
Hey, aren't we there right now? ELECTRIC ESCAPE! Without this database, I'd have never read all about those neat Japanese episode, or got hooked on FanFics!
NOTE - A CLOSE Runner-Up is Charl's Transformers FanFic Page. A great place for quick reference to other sites, even if finding those sites may cause you to look even harder to find specific topics (just because when you find other sites using Charl's page, you don't always wind up in the right spot in that other site).
{Charl explained to me, and rightly so, that some fanfic writers wish that links be made to the host page, so not to look like her site wasn't simply hitting the stories, and not the other items available on those web sites. - Oh, and sorry for misspelling your name, Carl - er - I mean Charl! �-) }
*** Best Transformers Web Page ***
Well Rob, your's is a touch white - though easy to read. (Better than TRANSFORMERS.UK, where their text disappears into the background! [NOTE: They have recently changed their site - Much better!]) I've seen Wanko's, I've seen Gryph's, and I've seen Raksha's snakes, and Ben Thomas' Final Days (I wish he'd post that last story... oh well...). TFFW.COM's new page has a nice cover, but of course, came on-line January 2, 1998. And, of course, I've strayed into many others.
BUT, I always fall back onto ELECTRIC ESCAPE. 'Nuff said!
*** Best Transformers MUSH ***
I will now show just how 'out-of-the-loop' I really am... WHAT THE HECK IS A mush?! I mean MUSH... other than what I just stepped in?
*** Best Transformers MUSH Administrators ***
MUSH administrators? This is getting messy!
*** Best Role-Playing of a Featured Character on a MUSH ***
Ah! A role-playing D&D-like game! Ah!
Well, once again, I'll skip. I never played those games.
PART VI: FANFICS
This is another area that, since I'm so new to the net, I'll not be able to answer all the categories. That, and not knowing just WHEN many of these FanFics were written. Let's see what I can do...
*** Best FanFic Story of the Year ***
Target - Birgit Staebler
*** Funniest Transformers FanFic of the Year ***
A Walk of the Wild Side - Birgit Staebler (The thought of Megatron walking around with a spassed out cat on his head did it for me!)
NOTE - Honorable Mention goes to A Day in the Life from Birgit Staebler's Gryph Page. Twister anyone?
*** Best FanFic Writer ***
Birgit Staebler - Hey, obviously I got stuck on her page! You could also put her up for Most Prolific.
*** Best Portrayal of an Official Transformers Character in a FanFic ***
I think I'll skip this one... So far I've seen each writer I've read put their own spin on official characters to the point that they all are unique. Starscream alone has enough different variations that he'd take up an entire ward in the mad house!
*** Favorite Unofficial FanFic Character ***
Sparks - Birgit Staebler A kitty with an attitude! She'll keep old Meggy in line!
*** Best Use of Human Characters in a FanFic ***
The Witwickys - Birgit Staebler's Arcs - Just how many ways can they get in trouble, be bashed, have kids, and still maintain an wholesome family attitude? (Of course, with a name like Witwicky, they HAVE to be bashed!)
*** The 720 Degrees Award, for the most exciting/original/unexpected plot twist in a FanFic ***
Megatron with a cat - Or is that Sparks with a Megatron?
*** The "Same Time, Next Year" Award, for the unfinished Transformers FanFic story that you wish WAS finished ***
Ben Thomas' TRANSFORMERS - GENERATION 2 Arc - Hey, he said he'd post it - He hasn't even NAMED it yet!
*** The Oliver Twist Award, for the Transformers FanFic that you most want to see a sequel for ***
Targets - Birgit Staebler - Those doorways HAVE to be reopened by Blackarachnia - T-Rex Megatron HAS to meet Black Cat Megatron! Meowww!
PART VII: POTPOURRI
*** The TF Question That Would Not Die, Part 1, Award: What's the Origin of the Transformers? Are they ***
(1) rebellious commercial goods built by the Quintessons,
or
(2) the children of Primus to fulfil a higher destiny?
It depends... Has any of them discovered a way to remove "Made in China" off their butts?
I follow the basic lead that they are rebellious service droids... BUT not as the matrix described it. The Matrix has been influenced by many an Autobot leader. I wouldn't put it past them to hide some facts by distorting some of the historical fact interred in it.
*** The TF Question That Would Not Die, Part 2, Award: Are the Predacons in the BEAST WARS cartoon ***
(1) complex characters with a lot of personality,
or
(2) s tereotypical bad guys with the depth of toilet paper?
They would have to get further into each character's personal history and background to make them complex. But that's what FanFics are for, right?
Please don't squeeze the Charmin!
*** Best News of the Year ***
Hummm... I may have lost my h o use, but I still have all my Transformers? :-} - It's a JOKE son - LAUGH!
Combiners/Multibots return.
*** Worst News of the Year ***
Combiners/Multibots returned. MAN! Are they hard to keep together! Silverbolt's wings won't stay snapped in position when transformed into Magnaboss, and Tripredacus' bottom section keep falling off his upper section!
NOTE - Honorable mention goes to the new rubsigns. Has ANYONE been able to get those things to work? {NOTE - Many of my rubsigns show the Maximal/Predacon logo to start with. When I touch them, they go dark. Isn't it suppose to go the other way?}
*** Biggest Surprise of the Year ***
The continued re-use of classic T-Former names. Grimlock I don't mind. He was a Dinobot. Ironhide and Prowl - Hasbro decreed it themselves - THEY'RE DEAD JIM! And then poor old Silverbolt just can't figure WHICH body he'll have! Oie!
*** Best Organized Event at a Transformers Convention ***
I'd have to GO to one first!
*** The Cybertron Showdown Award, for the most desired "X vs. Y" fight ***
EVERYONE vs Wheelie - And Wheelie would WIN as soon as he opened his big yap! That is until...
ROUND 2!!
Barney vs Wheelie - A dead heat!
*** The Mechanical Matchmaker Award, for the ideal "X and Y" couple ***
Wreck-Gar & A Black & Decker Can Opener
NOTE - Here's a question - Would Elita-1 prefer Optimus Primal over Optimus Prime simply because he has a hairy chest?
PART VIII: TRANSFANS FREE-FOR-ALL
Rob published my entire list. To see it, go to...
ROB'S TRANNIES '97 PAGE!
At this point, Rob e-mailed me that I'd have to re-submit some of my answers (mostly dealing with picking ONE character, not ONE group). And the following erupted...
Rob's notes appear after >one of these.
*** Worst Toy Ever ***
Battlechargers....
>Any one in particular...?
They BOTH act and look alike (not easy considering Runamuck is a Firebird and Runabout is a Supra). Pull back, let go and watch them fall flat on their faces as they auto-transform. Real one-trick ponies. But if I MUST pick one, I'll pick (eeny - meeny - mynie - MOE!) Runamuck for trashing one of my favorite cars!
{I guess 3 others felt the same, as the final count was 4 for Runamuck/Runabout duo.}
*** Most Complicated Toy ***
Beast Wars Multibot/Combiners/Gestalts what have you...
>Which one is more complicated...?
I'd have to give it to Magnaboss for the actual hardest. Tripredacus has probably the clumsiest. They both match their prototypes shown on their boxes fairly well. (I judge the accuracy of a figure I have in my displays by how well they compare to the prototype displayed on their packages). But Tripred' has that unfortunate Opus problem (Having one's butt fall off in public), plus a problem with balance. If you don't adjust his feet just right, he tips over like he's drunk on energon!
Magna' hardest points have to be deconstructing his head, and folding, spindling, and/or mutilating Ironhide the Elephant. The problem with his head is trying to get poor old Prowl back into what looks like a lion. Since Magna's face is hidden inside along with Prowl's robot arms, it makes his transform difficult. Ironhide suffers from the same affliction that T-Rex Megatron and BW Scorponok have. Pancake transformations. Ironhide spreads out across your table like a butterfly shrimp. While both hands are busy working on some detail on one end of the spread-out dissection, the other half flips down and dangles in the way. Oh well.
*** Worst News... ***
Combiner/Multibots returned...
>Odd. I hear they stay together REALLY well...
Okay, maybe Magnaboss isn't the troublemaker that Tripredacus is. But I have one source that many don't... My work. To put bread in the drawers and T-Forms on the shelves, and while I'm not writing, drawing, or working with my father at out personal businesses, I am the Merchandising Coordinator (Warehouse Manager) of a TOY STORE. (And NO! It is NOT T-R-U! Ugh! Bazooka that giraffe!) Let me tell you what my defective returns look like after Christmas rush! (A stack of at least a dozen Tripredacus alone. [For us, that's a lot!]) And their defect tags all say the same thing - FALLS APART or WON'T STAY TOGETHER.
As for getting the new rubsigns to work, I've held mine long enough to get attached to them. If they work, I sure am having a hard time seeing them. They don't seem to be as thick as the old ones were. I don't know, maybe I just have cold hands. I think I'll see my doctor...
>Speaking of Jetfire...
I've seen three other Jetfires with the same part, and those folks didn't know what it was for either. Maybe we got a strange batch around these parts.
*** The Dream Toy Award... ***
...the Autobot ladies...
>Which female, then?
But... THEY'RE A TEAM! Oh, picky, picky, picky! Alright, if I MUST pick one... THEN LET IT BE FIRESTAR.. mostly because I have a rough story with her brewing, and I'd need a model for it!
*** Best Merchandise... ***
Transformers Videos on Tape...
>People who are keeping quiet...busted by the FBI...make copies...
Arrr, I not be a pirate, ye swab! �-)
I agree. Of course it wouldn't help me anyway, since the majority of my video library is in (gack me!) Beta! I'd just like to SEE them! Unfortunately, with my schedule, I can't get to any conventions or meets. And the few collectible shows I've ever gone to have pirated Japanimation junk, but not Transformers goodies. Mostly Sailor Moon stuff.
- - - WE INTERRUPT THIS E-MAIL TO TAKE YOU NOW TO
S A I L O R M O O N VS M E G A T R O N!
GO TO Sailor Moon Vs Megatron...
*** Best Episode... ***
{I couldn't take my choice because it wasn't shown first in 1997}
ARRGH! Okay, if I can't take Spark, I probably can't take Possession either, ea... oh wait a minute... it didn't show up in last years Trannies list! POSSESSION!
***Best Fight Scene... ***
When in doubt, always go with the first choice! The fight sequence in HEAVY METAL WARS between Optimus and Megatron.
*** Character Who Should Get/Should Have Gotten... ***
The Autobot Ladies...
>Any particular females you have in mind?
Well, if you're going to press the subject and make me pick just one, then it should be Elita-1 (she can always drag the other ladies with her). The development of female characters in the series LACKED. Even Arcee needed bolstering. But Elita and her gang were given ONE SHOT, then sent off to the great storyline in the sky. They really missed the shuttle on this one.
*** The Cool Cameo Award... ***
Okay, my original offering needed a team. But how about this... Marlin Brandow as the REAL voice of Vector Sigma?
GO TO Vector Godfather...
*** The "Knock it Off!"... ***
Wheelie - breathing {Rob explained to me that "breathing" isn't a mannerism...nuts}
Well, it was a nice try...
I guess the one mannerism that drives me to distraction the most (other than Wheelie's voice) is that of Beachcomber. That "Oooh wow, Cosmic!" spin that they gave him annoyed me. Granted, he was a pacifist, but so was First Aid, and I never wanted to grab him by the throat and slap him silly!
*** The TF Question That Would Not Die, Part 2... ***
>Should I put you down for a #2, then?
Yes, TP Preds. Let's see if we can get Airazor to TP their base!
*** The Mechanical Matchmaker Award... ***
Wreck-Gar & A Black & Decker Can Opener
>Reminds me of Gogo Dodo... ***
GAWD! As soon as I read that, I remembered that episode! Umph! After I see the doctor for my cold hands, I'm gonna need to see the local shrink about my head! Erf!
How about a nasty triangle? Cheetor, Tigatron and Cheetara (ThunderCats)?
Onwards & Upwards!
R. A. Stott/ArkNorth
Well, that was that. Enjoy, and wait till NEXT YEAR! Yowzaa!
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