Vacation

The Holy Family and the Trinity wanted to go on holiday, but they had trouble choosing where to vacation.

The Holy Spirit suggested New York? God the Father wasn't too happy. "In New York those feminists call me God the Mother. I don't want to go there."

So the HS put forward Jerusalem (it being one of the more interesting places to spend the millenium etc) but Jesus objected, "I was killed there. The place brings back painful memories"

Then the Holy Spirit got a bit fed up, "Alright! Let's go to Rome then! I've never been there."

The Evils of Communism
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Lenin died and was sent to hell (for obvious reasons). However within 2 months the devil complained to St. Peter, "Take him away please!!! He's creating too much trouble! All the damned souls are rallying and protesting for air-conditioning!!!"

So St. Peter being a nice guy obliged and put Lenin in Heaven. However within 3 months the angels started protesting: "We want husbands! We want wives!"

Peter got a bit worried, so he went to look for Jesus.

"Master! Lenin has created so much trouble. He was kicked out of hell and now the angels are protesting!"

Jesus replied, "Don't call me Master. Call me Comrade."