One morn i awoke
and to me a boobie spoke
"please kind miss
i cannot take this
the squish of the bra
tis rubbing me crazy raw"

So startled was i
at my boobies cry
that from me bed i leaped
at my little boobies peeps
"Really my dear
we have this fear
my sister and myself
of being heaved into the bra shelf"

I ran around my room
stark crazy like a loon
for my boobie was talking to me
about how she wanted to be free
"Calm down now ya nut
you are shaking ms. butt
and she hates her skivies by the way
can you not put on those as well today?"

I did about faint right there
afraid soon i would hear my hair
moaning about the restrictive rubber band
like twas the cruelest cruelty in the land
"Really dear
i alone can you hear
so no bra okay
at least for today?"

I need not tell
about the bra from hell
that i did put to the fire
along with the underwire
"Thank you so kindly"
said my boobie to me
as she and her sister
never again feared a blister.

there once was a fine boobie
her name twas Ms. hootie
she didn't take kindly to blokes
that wanted to fondle her yolks
Ms. boobie was quite the priss
and she enjoyed freedom and bliss
she didn't mind the occassional kiss
as long as it didn't end in a hiss

Ms. boobie was not your rational gal
and her taste ran with her pal
(the one on the other side)
and with her ms. hootie did confide
"These bras are the death of us"
"I say, let's make a big fuss"
her partner in crime didn't need any prompting
for she knew all about bra stomping
she thought it was quite queer
that a bra could also be called a brassier!

so they plotted and schemed together
hoping one day to squash back not light like a feather
but harsh and mean and cruel
making the human eat her own gruel
so ache they did every month
and they thought it was really quite fun
until the human wised up to their plan
and ordered herself a mamogram
well, you can imagine their surprise
when they got squashed inside
not lace or cotton, but steel
and boy oh boy, did they squeel!

Off one morn
to the store
to buy a new bra
(remember the last)
'tbeen a while since
my last boobie peep
So off i hoped
into my jeep
lalala de da!
To wally-world i go...

At the first red light
Ms. boobie started to meep
"more air ya creep!"
*sigh* Not again i hoped
Alas! Twas a boobie beep
that made me go DOPE!
I ignored Ms. boobie's muttering
And upon the green she twas a fluttering
quietly I hoped for the rest of the way
or could turn out to be a long day...

Into the parking lot i careened
and i guess Ms. boobie had seen
the blue and white sign
and thought many things sublime
for no sooner had i my basket
than she started raging bout her casket
called hanes, joe boxer, and jockey
the words! dear me
the mouth on Ms. boobie burned
my ears and for peace i yearned
But into the "ladies dept" i went
hoping soon Ms. boobie 'twould be spent
But Egads! did she cry
about the bra i wanted to buy:

"EEK! don't you dare
That thing i won't wear
What are you thinking
i'll squash in a blinking!!!"

So that i set back
and moved to the sports ones
thinking maybe those more fun
Nope. No such luck
here is what Ms. boobie clucked:

"UNIBOOB!!! ACK! get some brains
you think i'll wear that hanes;
illusioned you are
and now you push to far!!!"

I *grumbled* and threw it back
Ms. boobie was really quite wacked
to think she had the upper hand
not in this little one kitty band!
So i crept like a katt to the lingerie
and *chuckled* at the game i was about to play

"LACE!! you've got to be kidding i wouldn't wear that in a wedding;
really dear, go for less
you don't even wear a dress!!"

So I strutted back to the jockey display
smiling all the way
for i had scared Ms. boobie stiff
and now she wouldn't resist
a nice cotton bra
that wouldn't rub her raw
no high beams for her you know
so this agreement was a go...
for now.

slip slap
in the wind we flap
boobie freedom have we!

ding dong
sound a gong
happy happy are we!

flit flirt
but don't hit the dirt
for we ain't that long ya see!

bing bong
goes our song
cause the bra we burnt, yippee!!

boobie, boobie
where are you?
i think i lost you
in my bra, or is it two?

How am i supposed to know
where i shove you when i go
to the store, work, or play
i'll let you free some day!

boobie boobie
what's wrong with you?
don't you like your cage
of cotton and glue?

How can i help it if
they are man made?
if you want the factory
i can raid....
but i thought
to keep you in the shade
*sigh* i guess i can do no right
so yes dears, y'all can be free tonight!

I sit and ache
each morn after i wake
fore no padding was provided
and i'm definitely one sided
of my boobies i've told you much
about their size and some such
but on my rear
i tell you dear
there is nothing but bone structure
good thing i don't get acupuncture
i sit on a wooden bench not long
before my butt whines it's song
"Oh, we ache, we ache, get up
don't you need a cup?"
So i sit and squirm from side to side
trying my butt not to abide
but after a while it is quite plain
as i squirm further and further in pain
that on wood my butt was not meant to be
it knows, but i can't it see
cause even in the mirror i search in vain
it's really quite lame
that two bones, the pelvic ones
make me come so undone.