I have told you where i stand
i have laid myself bare
i am at the edge of oblivion
do i walk away
do i stumble
can i stand with my back straight
after so long hunched with the weight
of emptiness
filling my void with nothing
day in and out
is it too much to ask
for more than someone
wants to give
is it wrong to think
that maybe
for once
hopefully
i can be first
or must i teeter on the
edge
of hell
or must i walk away
before my last tear
is my first
of my new life.
Time isn't my enemy
it is not my friend
i neither shun it
nor hold it
but it erodes me
slowly
ever so
slowly
as if i
am the only
buffet for the
wind scouring
the mountain
of my soul.
Do you see the sun rise
from the depths of mist
like beauty
beholden
unto joy,
i can't
because it blinds
me
throws me to my knees
with sorrow
that once i too gazed
toward the beauty of life.
Once i cared
once i sang
to the
sky
that the moon
peeks out of
through the clouds
hiding the mystery
of nature
and now
now it stops
me in my tracks
and i cry to my
Goddess
that i may never
hold her
i may never be
held
i may never be
allowed
this weakness that
consumes
me,
devours
me,
paralyzes
me.
Have you ever
wondered
what utter despair
feels like,
it is like
knowing
all to well
that you have done
Everything
and all you may have
is
nothing.
Because,
c'est la vive.
Have you ever just known
that it was okay that you'd blown
the most important thing in your world?
You become at peace
to say the least
that with letting go
you were sure it was so
that your heart filled with love
Quite weird to think
that within the time of a week
you went from misery to joy
Content to know the truth
sought after in your youth
when you stopped aching
and your limbs stopped quaking
you filled with life's meaning
You think upon things gone
some good, some bad, all done
and you just...smile
Cause you'll take none back
and you no longer lack
anything to make you complete
simply cause you did meet
the match to your soul.
searching grasping reaching
for what is not here
but there
aching desiring thirsting
for yesterday
today
Screaming ranting pleading
for lack of emotion
w/ devotion
crumbling falling collasping
for to much time
not mine
searching desiring pleading
for us
make it thus
I'm tired of the songs that rip me to shreds
Tired of the way i fall in heart at little things
wanting you in my arms, against my body
I want release from my pain,
into joy
can i hold you again i wonder
can i smell your hair
can i touch your face
or is that forever
never to be
We cry at our loss
cringe at our reminders
of how much we love
and how unhappy we are because
we know
When you go to sleep at night
i sleep with you
when you look at our star
i see you too
because you are
my soul