Iowa State Juvenile Records

    Though you will find many reference links on this page to my state records, I would strongly recomend that you review my state records (if you already haven't done so) before you read  this page.  It would avoid a lot of confusion of you referring to that section then back tracking to this page.  Just book mark this page, read the records and then return.  If you find it necessary later to refer to something in my records you can always do it later as you read this page.  Following is a link to the index of the state juvenile records.
     In the INDEX for my state juvenile records you will find a copy of most all of my records I obtained from the State of Iowa, dealing from the time I was sent to the Iowa Solders' Orphans' Home until I was transferred to the Iowa Training School for Boys.  These records are very incomplete and I found this to be very disturbing to me.  When I questioned this I was told they must not have kept very good records in those days but in reading the records I did receive I noted references to records I didn't receive.  This told me that at one time there were more records.
     I can only make two conclusions of not receiving all of my records. The first one would be that all of my records do exist but for some reason someone made a decision that I should not see them.  What that reason would be I don't know. I can only suspect that it was something that would shed poor light on the institutions. The other reason would be that they had possibly been destroyed.  Why someone would go into my file and selectively destroy certain records leaving others, again I can only suspect.
     Mainly only letters remain in my file. None of the normal reports made daily, weekly and or monthly by any of my cottage parents are in my file. None of the records on my escapes, which were referred to several times in records I have, were in my file.
    I have never been able to obtain a copy of my records while I was in the Iowa Training School for Boys. I am told they can't find them.
     Those records that are missing will not reveal anything to me that I don't already know, except dates, people that made out the reports and what they thought of me.  To me it was very important that I know those things.  I was hoping to find out from my training school records why Mr. Parker had turned his back on me but I suppose I will die with that question still unresolved.  I was hoping to be able to better understand those early years of my life.  Without those records I could only write from the data at hand and my memories as to how I perceived those years to be.
     I might note at this time, I requested my records on two separate occasions. The first time they gave me only about sixty pages of my records.  Two and a half years later when I made my second request I was sent another set of records by a person I had not dealt with previously.  This person did not know that I had previously received some of my records.  This second time records were sent to me, most of what I had already received was missing but some I didn't previously have, had been sent.  Again I can only assume where the rest of my records are and why I don't have them as I requested.  If anything
bothers me in this whole mess, it is this thing about someone censoring my records as to what I should see and what I should not see.
     Following are my detailed comments on the records and other data that I do have.  All of the records are listed in chronological order as of the date they were written.  Please refer to my records as you read.

 January 14, 1942  (At a time I was 7 years old, almost two years after my father's death, some  eighteen months after being taken from my mother.)

     Pre-commitment report made out January 14, 1942 by H. H. Ver Ney of the Story County Welfare Department in Nevada, Iowa.  (The first "a" in Nevada is pronounced long as in the letter "A".)  When the Pre-commitment report was made out by H. H. Ver Ney, my brother and I were  living together in a foster home in Des Moines, Iowa.  According to the report at 2340 E. 9th which turned out to be a non-existing address.  Wherever we were it would have been our third and final foster home.
     My sister at that time was living in Nevada, Iowa with my maternal grandparents.
     On the first page of the report it will be noted that my mother is listed as "Sylvia Peterson Leifhait. Living at 2033 4th Ave. Rock Island, Ill."  From this form is where I first learned my mother ever lived in Rock Island.  I asked my mother when she was in her 70s who this "Leafiest" was and if she had ever been married to him.  At first the name didn't mean anything to her, then she remembered that she had lived for a short while with a girlfriend and her husband and their name had been "Leafiest."  She told me that she had never remarried after my dad had died until she had married Edgar Chance on October 10, 1946 in Nevada, Iowa.  She never knew that I had my records and I see no reason for her to deny a marriage to this Leafiest if it had occurred.
     The address 2033 4th Ave. Rock Island is the address of my mother's youngest brother Ray. (I refer you to the second page of the report, to the address listed for Raymond Halterman.) The brother she was the closest to.  So at that time she was living with him not this Leafiest.  Later I will show you how this misinformation can snow-ball.  As a matter of fact this misinformation was not only to have a very negative effect on my mother's life but also mine.
     The report says that my mother was "Morally defective."  No other details.  No facts, just a statement.  Morally defective in what way?  Who made that determination?  She drank beer and smoked cigarettes too. In some peoples eyes that is morally defective.  Especially in a small conservative town like Nevada.
    Intemperate?  You better believe she was.  She had a temper towards anyone that she felt was treating her or us boys unfairly.  Her brothers, our neighbor to the north of us, who didn't want us boys playing in the north end of our yard and Ver Ney to name just a few that she could and did get mad at.  She has told me how one time she had told Ver Ney to get himself a plot in the cemetery because if he ever put us boys up for adoption he was going to need it.  Of course this had been after my brother and I had been sent to the orphanage.
     At the bottom of page one there is a physical description of my mother.  Note, "Careless about personal appearance."  I wonder since she didn't have the means to support herself and two boys how they thought she had the money to buy nice things to fix up her appearance.
     My mother never knew of any of these allegations so she never had a chance to defend herself and these allegation were to cause problems throughout my childhood, as I will show as we go through my records.
     Page two and three are actually one large page in my records. It is a list of all of my living grandparents, aunt and uncles, a  list of those notified of my brother and I being sent to the orphanage and placed up for adoption.  At this point they were notified (Refer to the heading of page four and to the bottom of page five.) if they didn't want us then we would be adopted out.  They chose not to become involved.
     Page five: This statement was to kill any chance of me ever being allowed to return to my mother.  I honestly believe that there were truths, half-truths, and outright fabrications made in this report, nothing to mention misinformation.
     The last page of the report I don't have much problems with.  Maybe I was a bright instead of "average" student but I guess we all  think that way.

January 27, 1942

     The next three pages are the statistical report made out on all children that entered the orphans' home.  I entered the orphanage on  January 27, 1942 (thirteen days after the pre-commitment report had been signed by H. H. Ver Ney) and this retort was made out over the following month while I was in orientation.  Note the married name of my mother and that it states that my mother is remarried.  This information came from the preceding report.  Misinformation that is being carried from one report to another.
     In my special history and remarks, they refer to my brother's file.  Which is the statement made on page five (second to last page) of the pre-commitment report.  (The preceding report.)
     On the second page of this report I would like to point out under the heading of "Physical Status" there is no mention of deafness. "T. & A. 1-10-42" means my tonsils and adenoids were removed on February 10, 1942.  This had been my first experience with ether. I might add under the heading of "Appearance."  The last sentence, "Very nice looking boy."  I think I might kind of like that person who made out that report, a very good judge of looks.

Adoption Application of '42 and subsequent investigation of home.
                      (and adoption release of February 10, 1943.  ------ I was eight years old then.)

     The only record in my file dating from my entering the orphanage until February of the following year is the application and the investigation of the people and the home of my pending adoptive parents.
     As you can see from the item numbers of the application, page three starts and ends with item number one and page four starts with  item number nine.  What happened to the pages between these pages I can only assume again.  It really made no difference for I was amassed from what I could see of the application why this application was even considered or approved, especially when I read the following investigative report.  Note my adoptive mother's health.
     The last item of the investigative report (Item Seven.) states,  "He should be 11 years old, rather than younger, because of the age of the applicants.  Agent recommends such a child be placed here."  The date I was recommended for this home was February 10, 1943 (the  following record) I was eight years old then.
     Note on this record of February 10, 1943 a year after I had entered  the orphanage my mother's married name.  She had visited my brother and I at least once, that name should have been straighten out then.
     Also of that same date "Articles of Agreement" were made out and signed by my foster parents.  On that same date my release was approved, signed and I was released to my adoptive parents.  I had met them on the Ninth and was released on the Tenth of February.

March 3, 1943  (Post-release investigative report of my adoptive conditions -- adjustment etc.)

     The next record dated, March 3, 1943, is a report of my home adjustment after I arrived at my foster home.  I want to note that this visit was made about three weeks after my release from the orphanage for it was to be the last report to be made until October 5, '43 some seven months later, about two weeks after my adopted mother had died.

Reports from September 29, 1943 to January 6, 1944
( I was now 9 years old.  This period of time is after my adoptive mother has died and prior to my return to the orphanage.)

     The records from October 5, until December 11, 1943,  though there are some opinions put forth (for one thing they knew the condition of the farm prior to my placement) they are self-explanatory and I won't go into them but go to the "Report of Psychological Examination." Dated December 11, 1943.  The author of this report did not personally see me.  The psychological information contained in this report came from my records when I had entered the orphanage almost two years before.  The other data came from Mrs. Todd, State Agent, the only one that had personal contact with me.
     Whether or not to remove me from my foster home was a good decision  I don't know.  I do know even though my foster father was up in age he had two sons by his next wife.  I have met the youngest one and I think he is doing very well.
     I will also note that the State Agent, Mrs. Todd, the Superintendent of the Children's Division of the Board of Control, Mrs. Nichols (two names that will appear in my records for some months to come) and the author of the Report of Psychological Examination, Katherine  Banham, PH.D. were all women. Three women that made one of the first, in my opinion, most disastrous decisions in my life.

January 6 - 7, 1944  (Report of my return to the orphanage.)

     I will jump to the Supervision Record Sheet dated January 6-7, 1944. I believe again the records I have skipped are self-explanatory.
     The Supervision Record Sheet was made out after I had been returned to the orphanage.  I left Sioux City on January the 6th and arrived at the orphanage on the 7th.
     The information that appears after the heading, "Home adjustment" seems erroneous to me.  According to my memories almost the last words my foster father had said to me had been, "Tell them when you get back to the orphanage, I will get married as soon as I can and then I will come for you."  Also from information I have received in this last year, he had married the girl mentioned in the report in November two months before I was taken from him and that they had kept it a secret well into the following year, several months after I had been returned to the orphanage,  not even telling her own father, who she continued to live with until the marriage was known.  So it is very unlikely I would have known of the marriage at that time. I have thought about it and thought about it and I can't come up with the answer how this was in my report.  Was I misunderstood in something I had said?
     The rest of the report I was happy to see sort of describes the sort of boy I was at the time I was being returned to the orphanage.  At a time I thought it would only be for a few days.  I also noted that I still had bad table manners, two years after I had been sent to the orphanage.  I also noted following the heading "Remarks" I was a little boy with a big mouth in telling things I shouldn't.  I think what I was doing was trying to say how much I loved my dad and he loved me.  But what I had accomplished was never to be allowed to be returned to my dad.  This report was to tell me 48 years later, the reason why my dad never came for me.

June 26, through July 9, 1945 (I was now 11 years old by one month.)

     Shortly after my return to the orphanage my Subsequent History report was made out. From that time until June 26, 1945, seventeen months later, when a Subsequent History was made out on my escape, my records are missing.  I was told that they must not have kept good records in those days, yet in records that I do have there is a reference to these missing records.
     Referring to letter of June 30, 1945.  This letter was written  in reference to my escape from the orphanage when I had ran away on June 26 and stayed two weeks in Rock Island.  It signifies there was another correspondent prior to this letter which is also missing from my records.
     Letter of July 2, 1945:  In this letter my mother is still being called "Mrs. Sylvia Leafiest."  Also she is suppose to have a brother named "Furguason."  Seems to me they should have known my mother's maiden name was Halterman.  It also states my mother has remarried and is now "Mrs. McCullough."  My mother doesn't have the least idea who this was.  The only thing in the letter that may have been true was "she had gone out west."  At that time she should have been living alone in Denver, Colorado.
     Skipping to the letter of July 7, '45.  Written by Mr. Daines, Superintendent of the orphanage.  This letter, I have also thought about for a long time, since I received my records some five years ago.  In all of the time I was in the orphanage, I could not remember running away with another boy.  In the juvenile home I had ran away once with several boys.  Several times at the juvenile home I had ran away with one particular boy but in the orphanage not one boy can I remember ran away with me.  My memory of running away this time, I had left from the church about supper time.  Could it be that my memory failed me this time and I had ran away some other way and with another boy?  I kind of doubt it, especially when reading the rest of the letter.  This may have been my sixth or seventh time I had ran away, I won't argue that. I feel that it was quite a bit more and he looks like he is only guessing.  The balance of that paragraph is absolutely untrue, I will strongly disagree with that.  I may have been a "Chronic Runaway" but not a "Ringleader" in taking other boys with me.  Two terms that would follow me to the juvenile home.  Because of these two terms, Mr. Ladd at the juvenile home was to come down on me so hard by isolating me from other boys. "Shop-lifter," "Stealing knives," "Playing with matches," all garbage.  If it had been true I would admit it for it doesn't make that much difference to me but it was not true and that is what burns me for I can not defend myself from what he wrote about me so many years ago.
    On July 9, 1945 a Subsequent History was made out on my return to the institution after running away.  I also expected to see my medical report stating my physical condition on my return to the orphanage, stating I had been sexually assaulted but that medical report was missing.  The "Physical Condition" on my Subsequent History report had only said, I had been "Sexually Abused."

July 16, through August 2, 1945 ( The last days at the orphanage)

     I was thankful to see the letter from The Juvenile Court of  Woodbury County dated July 16, 1945.  Even though I had remembered the telephone call sometime after I had ran away on June 26, I didn't know the date I had made it and some particulars of that telephone call.  This letter also helped to explain to me why my adoptive father had  turned me in when two years later I did finally make it home to him.
     July 18, 1945.  This letter, as with so many letters I have reread so many times trying to understand, how a man could have done this to an eleven year old boy.  The reasoning in his letter behind his request for my transfer is beyond my comprehension.  He states in his letter I never made any attempt to locate my mother.  He states my mother now lives in Des Moines some one-hundred-fifty miles away. The only reason he gives he thinks a change in environment might be "benefical"  (He couldn't spell either.) beneficial to me. I think it was more "benefical" to him knowing I had complained of child abuse to the Rock Island police when they had caught me.  Of course the last paragraph was in  reference to separating my mother and I.
     In all of this correspondence that was flying across the state there were two people I have often wondered it they ever bothered to question why I was still in the orphanage and those two were Mrs. Nichols and Mrs. Todd.  It was them that told my foster father I couldn't be held too long from another placement.
     I wonder what Mrs. Nichols said when she received the letter of August 2, 1945 saying I had once again ran away.  (I sort of smile when I think about what her exclamation to that was.)  It seems to me that there should have been some questions asked prior to the approval of my transfer to the juvenile home.  Especially after Mrs. Nichols' letter of June 30, 1945, "Larry is but 11 years of age, and we are wondering what has happened to cause him to run away."

August 17, 1945 through May 26, 1947

     On August 17, 1945 I was transferred to the State Juvenile Home in Toledo, Iowa.  The first report is the statistical report followed by my physical record.
     I note that my mother is still considered married to this Leifhait and that she is now living at 1120 2nd Ave. Rock Island.  There seems to be a lot of confusion over the last few months as to where my mother is living.  I believe at the time of my transfer to the juvenile home my mother lived in Denver, Colorado and in a few weeks would be moving  back to Nevada, Iowa.
     Special History Remarks:  The first line is stating I was admitted to the juvenile home on August 17, 1945 after being committed dependent and neglected.  Meaning I was dependent on my mother and neglected  by her.  This charge was made five years before on July 5, 1940.  Note there is no charge of child abuse, I got that from the places that were suppose to protect me.  I don't want to sound bitter but it seems to me that five years is a long time for a child to be confined to an institution without someone raising a few questions as to why.
     I have heard this excuse so many times over the years that it is almost sickening.  '”The system is so overburden, under-skilled, under-paid and under-staffed that a lot of kids fall through the cracks."  I sort of figure the Royal Gorge is a minor wrinkle in the landscape considering some of the cracks I fell through.  When a child is removed from his home by the a government agency and that agency does not staff the proper qualified staff then that agency has no reason to exist for that agency can only make matters worse.
     The balance of the Special History is only a copy from previous reports of misinformation.
     Letter of November 7, 1945:  This letter is in regards to my mother's request to have my brother and I returned to her.  This is where this Leifhait thing was to catch up with her.  Something she was never aware of so she was never able to defend herself nor correct this information.
     Letter of November 10, 1945: My mother was now living with her parents when this Mrs. Bloomburg made a visit there.  Years later, before I had started research on this book, my mother told me of this visit.  Note this was two months after my transfer to the juvenile home.  Then my mother's address was suppose to have been Rock Island, now it is in Nevada, Iowa.
     At first Mrs. Bloomburg indicated to my mother she could have us boys back when my grandmother had agreed to watch us while my mother was at work but when my grandmother changed her mind my mother was told that it wasn't possible for her to have us back.
     My mother has also told me that there was some sort of bitterness between this Mrs. Bloomburg and my mother. She was someway involved with my sister who was now in the Iowa Training School for Girls, where my grandmother had her committed, though my sister hadn't done anything that would cause her to be classified as a delinquent. As my mother has told me, my sister, “was of an age where Mom didn't want to take of her.”  My sister at the time of being sent to the training school was fourteen years old.
     It was also from this letter I had first found out that my brother at that time was in the orphanage.  My brother will not talk about those years we had been separated.  All I know of him, while he was in the orphanage he was a "Chronic Runaway," (Worse than I was, from what he has told me of those times.) and that he bounced back and forth between the orphanage and his adoptive parents.  To this day he has always called them "Mom and Dad."
     My mother was told in this letter where I was and she had come to visit me shortly before Christmas of that year.
     The following pages of my records are letters from the doctor at the University Hospital.  Note letter dated May 26, 47.  This letter was written about two weeks after my thirteenth birthday.  A few weeks before I had ran away and had made it home to my adoptive father in Leeds, Iowa. About a month prior where my book starts.  What is of special interest is what the doctor states of my mental condition. I will also not the psychiatric report mentioned in this letter was not in my file.  What did it contain?  I don't know but from what Mr. Ladd said to me shortly after I returned from the hospital I have a fairly good idea.  I was never to return to the University Hospital.

August 15, through September 8, 1947 ( I was now 13 years old.)

     The next four letters dating from August 15, 1947 through September 8, 1947 were of great interest to me.  When I first read these letters tears came to my eyes, they finally had the answer to my problems and they failed me.  Letters from Mrs. Palmer to Mrs. Bloomburg dated August 15, 47, bottom of the first paragraph.  "Larry has had some difficulties and is greatly depressed.  He should be with his mother or in a foster home."  Even to this day it saddens me.  What else can I say.  They had the ball firmly in their hands then they dropped it by not following up.  Another large "crack."
     The letter of August 15, 1947 to Mr. Ladd:  This letter was written about a month after I had been returned from Trear, Iowa where the town marshal had seen the bruises on me.  I will quote from the last part of the paragraph, "I would like to know what behavior problems he has had and what type of punishment has been used."  This tells me one of two things, either the marshal filed a complaint of abuse or my mother has spoken of it to Mrs. Palmer.  I can see no other reason why Mrs. Palmer would request this information from Mr. Ladd.  Now I really don't want to sound bitter but isn't that sort of like asking the bear if he stole any honey?  To my knowledge this is the only time, in my entire childhood, an inquiry was possibly made as to whether or not I was being abused.
     August 25, 1947:  Letter written by Mr. Ladd to Mrs. Palmer;  I have reread this letter many times over the last five years.  Sometimes  I want to smile or laugh outright at what he is saying.  Sometimes I want to cry.  Sometimes I feel the heat of anger rising up in my body.
     I think if you take out all of the contradictions in the letter you will see pretty much what type of a boy I was.  Also keep in mind I was feeling a continuous depression at this time.
     I sit here and think. What kind of letter would I have written,  based on the type of boy I think I was at that time?  Let's give it a try and see.
 

Dear Mrs. Palmer;
 
Re: Larry Eugene Peterson  #2093
 
     Your letter of August 15 relative to the above named boy has been received.  Larry's record of runaways is quite extensive.  He has ran away five times since April of 1947, nine times the previous year.  He has on several occasions headed for Davenport orphanage though he doesn't know that his brother is there for we have told him on numerous occasions that his brother has been adopted and he will never be allowed to know where he is.
     Larry is deaf in one ear and the hearing in the other ear is greatly impaired and it is probably a large contributing factor to many of his problems.  Though this was noted on his entrance to the juvenile home and on several other occasions throughout these last two years and that in fact it has been suggested by qualified personnel he should be provided the necessary education in case he goes completely deaf we have failed to act up on it.
     His social and emotional adjustment at Davenport and here has not been good.  He wants what he wants NOW.  He cannot seem to realize that people have to earn the things they get in life.  Though that is probably our fault for we have not made any attempt in teaching him those values.  He has a very pleasing personality.  He is a very polite, he always addresses adults as Sir or Mam whenever he speaks with them.  He is a very likable young man.  He enjoys working but  we do not have any work for him to do but housework in his cottage.  He always lives up to the ideals of his cottage except for his running away.  He feels that he is restricted in his activities but then there is not that much for him to do here in an institution.  Though he tells me he has fun in running away I know that he is very depressed and unhappy.  He tells me that he has no particular spot in mind when he takes off but I know that is because of his emotional condition, he doesn't know were to go to find the love and understanding he so desperately needs in his life.  He has not had any problems in school nor has he had many behavior problems in his cottage.  Those he has had is possibly due to his poor hearing.
     I have spent much time in talking to this boy but no time in talking with him.  I always talk down to him and never give him a chance for some input into the problems he is having.  I feel that we must address our problems that we are having with him before we can address his problems.  I can easily see why he resents everything that is done to him, and for him to try and find happiness elsewhere in any manner that he can.
     So far as disciplinary measures are concerned, we have used every device we can think of.  He has been deprived of the privilege of going to the picture show, isolated from all of the boys his own age, placed at a separate table in the dining room, has been placed in isolation in the hospital for two weeks each time he runs away, each time he has ran away he is whipped with a strap or a board to such a degree that he carries black and blue marks for days if not weeks.  He has been put on restrictions in his cottage for excessive periods of time and slapped.  He has very little freedom as he is closely watched, mostly all in regards to his running away.  The results in all cases has been unsatisfactory.  His worst and only fault is his running away.  He is not guilty of any petty thieving and is very cooperative in his cottage.
     This boy has had enough and is near his breaking point and I strongly agree that he should be returned to his mother or placed in a foster home where he can get the care and love he needs.

Very truly yours,

L. H. Ladd

 

      Maybe if Mr. Ladd had been more interested in solving my problems instead of explaining how much of a problem I was to him. Maybe if he wasn't so busy trying to cover up what was being done to me, just maybe that is the type of letter he would have wrote.  I wonder what he would have thought if he knew that someday I would see that letter and the next letter he wrote.  Of course after all of these years it is hard to defend myself in what he wrote about me.  I can only tell my side of the story and let others be the judge.  There was a reason why I was doing what I was doing.  I am sure there are a lot of people that will side with those institutions and say the reason I went on to reform schools was my own fault.  But then we have to look at who raised me and taught me my values, it surely wasn't my mother.  This letter was to also prove to me, he knew it was wrong for him to condone the abuse I was receiving.

July 28, through July 30, 1948 ( I was now 14 years old and these are the final letters in my files concerning my last days at the juvenile home.)

     Letter dated July 28, 1948:  From September 8, 1947 until this letter there is a gap in my records.  That is about eleven months, the period of time I was in my last cottage at the juvenile home, the one where I loved my cottage parents so well.  Except for this last time, I hadn't ran away once and except for being caught talking to a girl a little over a week prior to this letter I had not been in any trouble.  Eleven months, that was quite a record for me.  Maybe that is why there are no records of that period of time, no need to keep records on "Good boys."  But then I had talked to the girl, I would think at least that would be noted in my file, how they had put an end to a hot love affair.  (Pardon the pun, but to know me you would understand at fourteen I was so naive I didn't have the least idea what girls were all about.)
     I disagree with so many things in this letter I will have to take it a line at a time. According to my records I was admitted to the juvenile home on August 17, 1945, about three years prior to this letter.  So that part of his letter was accurate, I can't say that much for the rest of it though.
     On line two he says that I was a problem ever since I had entered the institution.  I can very easily see where I was a problem to him but not ever since I had entered the institution.  The first six  months I wasn't in any trouble, the last eleven months until I was caught talking to the girl, I wasn't a problem to anyone, quite to the contrary.
     Again he is referring to records I don't have when he says they show that I ran away on thirteen separate occasions.  That would be thirteen separate occasions prior to this last one that the letter is being written for.  That number of runaways seem to be about right when you figure I had ran away thirteen times in the first twenty four months I was there.  The first six months I didn't runaway.  The six months of the following winter I didn't runaway.  So that is twelve months out of the twenty-four months I didn't runaway, meaning I had ran away thirteen times in twelve months.  Considering I was in isolation two weeks every time I ran away.  I was on restrictions for days at a time in my cottage.  I was gone one occasion for two weeks, one occasion slightly over a week, several occasion for several days.  I had spent a few weeks in the University Hospital during that period of time.  That works out about thirteen times if I had ran every opportunity I had.  So it looks like if I wasn't locked up in Isolation or if they weren't sitting on me in some way, I was gone.  I guess I was a problem to him.  It is not a very impressive record for him and his administration.   By today's standards, like a lot of kids have done to their parents, I should sue these people for being so neglectful of me. <G>
     He states later in that same paragraph I was being considered for placement because I had shown a temporary improvement.  I kind of doubt I was being considered for placement, knowing what I know now about adoptions.  A child from birth up to eight or nine years old is adaptable beyond that age not very likely.  The older a child gets the harder it is to find anyone that wants to adopt them and I was fourteen at the time of this letter.  So the way I look at this statement, it is only to make himself look good, as though I knew that they were trying to place me and still I had ran away.  Temporary improvement?  Eleven months was a long time to be calling it "a temporary improvement."
     In writing my book I had a lot of problems in telling some of  the things I had done or was done to me but I told them as honestly and accurately as I could.  If I had entered my cottage mother's room and taken anything just before I had ran away this time I would have told about it in my book but that was something I didn't do.  I have told much worse things about myself than that.  I was not that caliber of boy that would steal from a person that had been nice to me and I take offense that he wrote that about me.
     The first sentence of the next paragraph seems to be fairly accurate except for the word of "opportunity."  We were detasseling corn for a seed company.  They paid the juvenile home for our labor, which I assume was money spent on the picture shows in town for the whole institution.  All we were to get out of it was a chance to work in the hot sun, a paper sack lunch, all of the water we wanted to drink and the satisfaction of working.
     "Incentive to do better."  I had thought I had been doing pretty good until I was caught talking to the girl in the attic of her cottage.  (Talking was all we did in case you forgot.)
     I like that next word he used, "Instead," he even separated it from the rest of the sentence with a comma.  His meaning of the word is, "After all of the hard work and things we have done for this boy."  I do believe I have a slight problem with this.  Maybe I could have agreed with him if he had said, "It is no wonder after what we have done to this boy."
     I would like to clarify at this point something I may not have made too clear anywhere else.  All of the times I had ran away, this time when I had stole the car and ran away, I regretted dearly because of what it cost me but to this day I have never felt bad about doing those things.  My biggest regret, because of what Mr. Ladd represents, is that the car didn't belong to Mr. Ladd and that I hadn't totally destroyed it.  I don't want to sound bitter for I am not bitter, I am only explaining what kind of a boy I feel I was.  Those people were terribly hurting me and that was my only recourse.  I don't say that as an excuse for anything I had done but only the reason I felt I did it.  I paid dearly the price for everything I did, that they felt I had done wrong.  No I don't feel guilt nor bad about anything I did but I do feel a lot of hurt as to what they did to that boy.
     Sheriff Reid did not apprehend me, the State Police did as the newspaper account of that event will bare out.  Sheriff Reid did return me to the juvenile home.
     I guess I can let the rest of that paragraph go, except I didn't consider them small injuries, not the way I was feeling and I do remember the doctor examining me on both occasions mentioned.
     Now if you remember from my book I was at this time in a hospital room in the juvenile home.  That all the doors leaving the hospital were locked and I couldn't crawl through any windows so I couldn't runaway.  So this last paragraph of Mr. Ladd's letter was of great concern to me.  When I read this part of the letter I wondered why was he in such a hurry to get me out of the juvenile home and to the training school.  The reason he gives doesn't make sense to me.  Why was he so concern if the county prosecuted me? The worst that they could have done was to send me to the training school.  Was he afraid of what I might say at a hearing?  In my research, I found three different newspapers that covered the event of me taking the car, one had even stated that I was being sent to the training school prior to any approval of sending me there.  Who gave the papers that information if it wasn't Mr. Ladd?
    I will also point out he does not write to his immediate superior Mrs. Palmer, Director of Children's Division of the Board of Control, to whom he normally writes to but goes around her and writes to a member of the Board of Control, a Mr. Herbert H. Hauge.  Mrs. Palmer was still the Director of the Children's Division according to the next record.  This posed another question for me.  Why did he do this?
     The next record in my file is dated July 30, 1948 two days after Mr. Ladd wrote his last letter.  This is the form authorizing my transfer to the Iowa Training School for Boys in Eldora, Iowa.  Note that my transfer to the training school was made on July 29th the day after Mr. Ladd wrote his last letter, the day before this form was made out.  He could have gotten a preliminary approval by telephone.  But then again why was Mr. Ladd in such a hurry in getting me to the training school?  I was locked in the hospital, I couldn't runaway.  It can only make me wonder as to what he was so afraid of.

December 11, 1950 ( I was now 16 years old.)

     The last item in my file was dated December 11, 1950.  I only insert it for it's informative value.  The author of this letter is the person I went to on many occasions while at the training school and asked to try and locate my brother.  At the time of this letter this person was my parole officer.  At the time of this letter, unknown to my parole officer, I was in or hitchhiking my way back from California, through Yuma, Arizona.  I might also add, as my parole officer I never had any personal contact with her.  As a matter of fact, I never knew I had a parole officer at that time until I obtained my files with this letter in it.

Records from the Iowa Training School For Boys & elsewhere.

    My records that were created at the training school I have been told they can't find. The records that were created at all of the following institutions I was in, I was told outright have been destroyed.  From memory, telephone interviews, personal interviews, newspaper articles, dated photographs and some other data I was able to put the balance of my book together.

 Newspaper Articles.

     The newspaper articles, as my state records were, are the results of two years of research and travel almost on a monthly basis between Denver, Colorado and Iowa.  All of the photographs that appear in this book was in appreciation of my mother who was responsible for most of them being taken and kept safely though the years.
     The newspaper article of the boy who was beaten to death in the Iowa Training School for Boys was published on September 21, 1945, a month after I had entered the State Juvenile Home in Toledo, Iowa.  Yet my cottage mother (Ms. Gruber)  in the orphanage told me over a year prior of this of a boy at the training school that had been beaten to death.  I have searched for this event that she spoke of and I haven't been able to find any record of it happening at the time she had said it did.  This leads me to believe that all she was trying to do was to frighten me, which she very well did as you can see the results of it in my book.  I might also point out, during that period of time conditions in the Toledo, Iowa State Juvenile Home were not much better than they had been at the training school.
    The article of me damaging the airplane was an out-right lie.  All I did was to burn up some gas.  Can you send a boy to the reform school for that? --- You be the judge as to what happened there.