THEMES: Eurovision

This is the exception to the No TV rule. For non-Europeans, a bit of background: The Eurovision Song Contest is a televised evening where about 30 countries enter pop songs which have to be sung in their native language, and then everyone votes for their favourite. It is _so_ tacky that it has to be seen to be believed. Lyrics are appalling: "your love is like the Starship Enterprise/and two minutes later it's a block of ice" is one example. Countries vary each year, and include any that are broadcast to by some TV coglomerate, hence Israel's inclusion.

Instructions

1. Set up a sweepstake in the week beforehand of all the countries (there's usually a Eurovision web site - try BBC Online for links).
2. Get a posse of your mates round with loads of alcohol.
3. Add subtitles to Eurovision (Ceefax page 888).
4. Jot down choice lyrics and descriptions of outfits. Make disparaging remarks.
5. When the phone voting starts, try to get a party consensus and ring the vote in.
6. Laugh at the interval act, especially if it involves Michael Flatley.
7. Proceed to yell increasingly xenophobic remarks at anyone who didn't give their full 12 points to your country.
8. Finish with a reprise of Gina G's Oooh, Aah, Just A Little Bit and Bucks Fizz's Making Your Mind Up. Abba is usually obligatory too.