Misunderstandings occur as the result of a failure to communicate, in a way that can be easily understood.  By discussing what you don't understand about a statement or a question, you can agree to disagree with someone, without arguing.  Double standards enable what you say to another person, that hurts their feelings, to be alright but, when they repeat it to you it could seem rude.
          Before you continue, take a look at your ability and awareness skills.  You know a lot about yourself, if you have thoroughly examined your answers, to the questions in this book.
          By now, you must be aware that words define life, or at least have an effect on our relationships with others.  With careful observation, you will notice how important representation through presentation really is.  For example:  The word need used in the front of a sentence suggests just that, need.  The word if is a word that can qualify an excuse or put conditions on others/us.  The word if is often utilzed to place blame on another.  Depending on where the word if is placed in a statement or question it can be used, as a tool, to compromise.

          Stress management can be an important, essential asset to you.  Society has found things such as life, age, and outward appearance hard to accept (deal with).  Although we can't stop the effects of stress without removing life, we can change the ill manners and ill effects that it can promote.  We can change and manage to succeed.

1.  Do the words want and need mean the same thing?
explain:
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

2.  Do you think the words want and need support each other?  Why or why not?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

          The key word missing in each example above, is have.  Replace the words want and need with have and see what it represents.  Notice how the previous examples sound if the words need and want are placed in the front of the sentence.
          Society has created ideal games according to experience or understanding of life.  This of course, would suggest that a game of any kind is able to create structured thinking.  Many games tend to promote frustrated thinking which can develop a headache or, worse.  Games require concentration, consideration, reasoning, money managing, and responsibility; all of this is based on winning.  Not only that, life's games are based on numbers, letters, shapes, words, symbols and colors, with rules.  Could this possibly be an effective method of learning and teaching, while relieving stress?

What game is there that is not related or structured around the idea of life?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Listen to hear and understand so that you will be aware of upcoming compromises.

1.  Mean what you say or ask.

2.  Say what you mean to ask.

3.  Ask what you want to ask.

4.  Say what you mean.

5.  Mean what you say.

6.  Intend to understand others.

7.  Encourage others to say what they mean and mean what they say.

Example:

Question-  " I want you to go to the ice cream parlor with me, just for something to do".

          I see this statement in need of attentive thinking and questioning; come backs are necessary.  Do not be compromised.  Here are some possible comebacks:

1.  " What makes you think I need something to do?"

2.  " I don't want any icecream."

3.  " Do you want my company?"

4.  " Do you want to be with me?"

5.  " Why, don't you want to be alone?"

6.  " Okay but, not just for something to do but, because I enjoy your company.  I would love to go with you for some icecream."

          People often wonder how a newborn baby gets its way.  Having its every desire, want, and need taken care of.  Forever having its heart's desire.  They accomplish this, through the natural ability to express ignorance through helplessness and innocence.

1.  What do we have, that we are not born with?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

2.  Why do we have what we have, yet never seem to have enough?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

          The way that people usually get attention is primarily through the use of words.  Words enable people to pass stressful emotion or feelings, as well s love, to others.  Words can enable people to trade feelings of hostility or frustration for your happiness or dignity.  By sahring thoughts and ideas, you can have an effective conversation.  With a clear understanding, stress can be managed.  Communication is essential to any relationship.

1.  Have you ever considered the way that a newborn baby, the moment it arrives, communicates with the world?  Yes_____ No_____

2.  Would you suppose that a newborn baby is capable of thinking?  Yes_____ No_____

3.  Do you think a baby, at the moment of birth, can feel without thinking or without consideration?  Why or why not?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

4.  With no thought or consideration, would you say, that a newborn baby could be considered logical or rational?  Yes_____ No_____

5.  Do you think a baby feels anxiety, fear, and insecurity?  Yes_____ No_____

6.  Can a newborn baby feel anger, be angry, and show anger?  Yes_____ No_____

7.  Does a newborn baby endure tremendous stress?  Yes_____ No_____

          Where in the world did we learn about anger, anxiety, fear, frustration, etc.?  If a newborn baby is thought to feel and show anger, just as an adult with a rational, logical mind; how would you answer the following questions?

1.  What causes an adult to become angry?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

2.  Can people become angry, simply through thought?  Why?  How?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

3.  Can feelings occur without thinking?  How?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

4.  Could you become angry without thinking?  How?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

5.  Does frustration alone, cause people to become angry?  How?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

          Why do people insist on believing that because their every need, want, and desire is not met, stress occurs?  If you are awake, aware, and constantly observant: you will begin to notice our English language and how people present it.  The use of the language is based on early learned words such as:  I, me, you, want, need, but, if and the later learned word, because.

1.  At what age, would you say, a child knows the feeling of those words?

A)  Between the age of birth and 2 years
B)  Between the age of 2 and 10 years
C)  Between the age of 10 to young adult

2.  At what age, would you say, a child knows the meaning of those words?

A)  Between the age of birth and 2 years
B)  Between the age of 2 and 10 years
C)  Between the age of 10 to young adult

3.  Why do people complain?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

4.  Why do you think people argue and yell at others?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

5.  What do most people remind you of?
A)  animals
B)  babies
C)  adults

6.  Do you think we are born with mental stress that continues to develop?
explain:
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

          Most people tend to believe that they are not responsible for the behavioral thinking and speaking patterns that they possess.  If you observe the way that people use words as feelings and feelings as words, you will notice that communication levels are very low indeed.  As we grow, we learn new words and new ways but, we never seem to develop past the newborn usage.  Is it because we are not taught to make words useful in evryday situations?  Children should be taught about what they are feeling, and their poor use of words should always be corrected.  Take the word mad for example, this word does not mean angry, frustrated, or irritated; It means; insane.

          Choose a person that you know and look closely at his or her foundation.  Is it necessary for that person to behave, or talk the way that they do, in order to manage in life?  Most people's lives are based on a five-year-old foundation.  The habits they developed in the first five years of life are hard ones to change.

foundation-	n.	1.  A solid structure on which a building is built. (see building)
	adj.	2.  The base or basis of something.
		3.  An organization that gives money to a worthwhile cause.

complex-	adj.	1.  Very complicated, as in complex instruction.
		2.  Having a large number of parts
	n.	3.  A set of strong feelings that you can not control or forget about that cause
		problems for you.
		4.  A group of buildings that are used for a particular purpose

1.  Do you think that people have similar complexes?  Yes_____ No_____

2.  Do you think that feelings have similar causes?  Yes_____ No_____

          How is it possible for a structure to survive for perhaps, one hundred years on a foundation that was built to last for five years?  What would a carpenter, masonary worker, volunteer, priest, crane operator, or anyone be able to do that would reinforce this structure?  Would they simply make corrections on the outside or the topside?  The damage would be, the shifting of the building settling under the weight of stress, from many weather-beaten days.  Possibly, with special attention being paid to both, the foundation and the building it could survive (in good condition).  A person's foundation is built and maintained with words.

structure-	n.	1.  Something that has been built, such as a house, an office building, a bridge, or
		a dam.
		2.  The organization of something or the way that it is put together.

1.  What kind of structure is sitting on your foundation?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

2.  Are you foundation and structure compatible?  Yes_____ No_____

3.  Are they complex?  Yes_____ No_____

complex-	adj.	1.  complicated, tangled, intricate
	n.	2.  network, organization

build-v.  constuct, erect, assemble

compare-v.  liken, match, contrast

          Have you evr noticed the way that people talk using cliches?  Cliches do fill a large part of a conversation without saying anything at all.  This type of communication leaves a conversation wide open to doubt.  Communicating with the use of cliches is an insecure, ineffective way to communicate.  Be careful when you hear a cliche utilized in a conversation because, as we have noticed, they are a way for the speaker to shed their insecurities.  On a separate sheet of paper, list all of the cliches that you can think of, or have used or heard, and their many poosible meanings.

          A little patient lady lives in the retirement home where my mother works.  The little lady would always take a long time to brush her teeth, so that she could extend my mother's time in her company.  With little time to chat, due to the shortage of staff, my mother had trouble keeping her temper in check.  After what seemed like a hour to my mother, because her duties were calling, she became frustrated.  The level of anxiety began to build in both of them.  The patient lady knew that it was time for her company (my mother) to go.  Time had run out, my mother said in a frustrating manner, " I'm losing my patience"!
          The little lady responded with understanding and humor, " Oh, how are you spelling that dear?"
          They both laughed and niether one of them took/carried the other's frustration, lonliness, impatience, insecurities, or anxiety.

          The No/Know game is a game of concentration.  The rules of the game are easy to learn but, extremely difficult to comply with.  In this game, there are only five simple rules.

Rules:

1.  You may not, at any time during the game, use the word " no".

2.  You may not, during the game, use the word " know".  You must utilize phrases such as; " I realize that" or " I acknowledge" or something like " I understand".  You can not use " uh-uh" or shake your head to signify " no".

3.  If someone says " no" or " know" you must call them on it before another person speaks.  Otherwise they may deny having said it.  Besides you may not be able to prove that they said it without the use of the taboo word(s) yourself.

4.  The first person to use " no" or " know" is disqualified.  The next and so forth until one person is victorious.

5.  There are absolutely no time-outs.

The play:  You start the game at a designated time, we suggest saying, " Ready, set, go!"   After the word " go" is said any violations, of the rules one or two, count as a disqualification.  The game is over when there is one person left who was not disqualified.  It may also be over when everyone agrees to quit.

Parents:  The No/Know game is a powerful mind control tool that helps teach children, at a young age, to understand what they are saying, and to think before they speak.  Tip:  We once played the No/Know game; the first round loser (first to be disqualified) had to do the dishes, the second round loser had to clean the bathroom, the third round loser had to do the dusting etc..

But beware:  If you are trying to get your children to do your housework or their chores using this method; don't think that they will lose because of their ages.  Children, especially teenagers, can be very sly.  If you don't play with extreme caution, you may end up doing the house work and their chores, while the children sit and laugh.

Final Note:  Have you ever noticed how often people say, " I know"?  We should teach our children to say " No", however we should teach them to be assertive and utilize other words to express that they mean what they say.  If they say simply " No", to drugs etc., it doesn't keep the same person from returning the next day to make the offer again.  If they utilize other words to say " No", their intelligence and integrity will intimidate the person so that they will need more courage to approach them again, chances are they won't.