Ferengi
Rules of Acquisition
This page was last updated on 05/24/01.
"Rule of Acquisition -- Whisper your way to success." - Nog, Treachery,
Faith and the Great River (DS9)
"The riskier the road, the greater the
profit, and other gems from the Rules of Acquisition." - Quark (thought),
DS9 Novel #25 The Courageous (Rebels book 2 of 3) by Daffyd ab
Hugh
1
"Once you have their money, you never give it back." -
Rom, The Nagus (DS9/1)
3
"Never pay more for an Acquisition than you have to."
6
"Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity." - Zek, The Nagus (DS9/1)
"... Sixth Rule of Acquisition ... Never allow family to stand in the
way of opportunity." - Quark / Nog, TNG Novel #52 Vectors (Double
Helix Book 2 of 6) - Dean Wesley Smith and Kristine Kathryn Rusch
7
Odo: "Keep your ears open."
Quark: "Are you kidding? That's the Seventh Rule of
Acquisition." - In the Hands of the Prophets (DS9/1)
8
"Small print leads to large risk."
9
"The Ninth Rule of Acquisition clearly states that
'opportunity plus instinct equals profit." - Nog, The Storyteller (DS9/1)
10
"Greed is eternal."
13
"Anything worth doing is worth doing for money."
16
"A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along."
17
"A contract is a contract is a contract... but only between Ferengi."
18
"A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all."
19
"... the thought that a customer might not
be satisfied with his end of the bargain concerned a Ferengi not at all (in
fact, it was Rule of Acquisition Number Nineteen)." - Quark (thought), DS9
Novel #25 The Courageous (Rebels book 2 of 3) by Daffyd ab
Hugh
21
"Never place friendship above profit."
22
"A wise man can hear profit in the wind." - False
Prophets episode, Voyager
27
"There's nothing more dangerous than an honest
businessman." "Rule of Acquisition Number Twenty-Seven." -
Quark / Sisko, DS9 Novel #25 The Courageous (Rebels book 2 of 3) by Daffyd ab
Hugh
31
"Never insult a Ferengi's mother... insult something he cares about
instead."
33
"It never hurts to suck up to the boss."
34
"Remember the 34th Rule of Acquisition: War is good for business." - Ezri
Dax, The Siege of AR-558 (DS9)
35
"Peace is good for business."
"Rule of Acquisition Thirty-five: War is good for
business." - Quark, DS9 Novel #26 The Liberated (Rebels book 3 of 3)
by Daffyd ab
Hugh
40
"She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum."
41
"Profit is its own reward."
44
"My next thought was of Rule Forty-Four...."
"Never confuse wisdom with luck." - Quark / Sisko, DS9 Novel #24 The Conquered (Rebels book 1 of 3)
by Daffyd ab
Hugh
47
"Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own."
"The 47th Rule of Acquisition says: Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than
your own." - Quark, Rivals (DS9)
48
"The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife."
52
"Never ask when you can take."
57
"Good customers are as rare as latinum--treasure them."
58
"There is no substitute for success."
59
"Free advice is seldom cheap."
60
"Keep your lies consistent."
62
"The riskier the road, the greater the profit."
65
"Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff."
75
"Home is where the heart is... but the stars are made of latinum."
76
"Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses
the hell out of your enemies." - Quark, The Homecoming (DS9)
79
"Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge."
82
"The flimsier the product, the higher the price."
85
"Never let the competition know what you're thinking."
89
"Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for
your profits."
94
"Females and finances don't mix."
95
"Expand... or die."
97
"Enough... is never enough."
99
"Trust is the biggest liability of all."
102
"Nature decays, but latinum is forever."
104
"Faith moves mountains... of inventory."
106
"There is no honor in poverty."
109
"Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. Rule of Acquisition Number
109." - Quark, Rivals (DS9)
111
"Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them."
112
"Never have sex with the boss's sister."
113
"Always have sex with the boss."
121
"Everything is for sale. Even friendship."
123
"Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum."
125
"Rule of Acquisition 125: You can't make a deal if you're dead." - Quark, The
Siege of AR-558 (DS9)
139
"Wives serve, brothers inherit."
141
"Only fools pay retail."
144
"There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your
pocket."
162
"Even in the worst of times, someone makes a profit."
177
"Know your enemies... but do business with them always."
181
"Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit."
189
"let others keep their reputation... you keep their latinum."
192
"Never cheat a Klingon... unless you can get away with it."
194
"It's always good to know your customers before they walk in
the door.""It's always good business to know about new
customers before they walk in your door." "One Hundred and Ninety-Four."
- Quark / Sisko, DS9 Novel #24 The Conquered (Rebels book 1 of 3) by Daffyd ab
Hugh
202
"The justification for profit is profit."
203
"New customers are like razor-toothed greeworms. They can be
succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
211
"Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to
step on them."
214
"Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach."
217
"You can't free a fish from water."
218
"Always know what you're buying."
223
"Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox."
229
"Latinum lasts longer than lust."
236
"You can't buy fate."
239
"Never be afraid to mislabel a product."
242
"More is good... all is better."
255
"A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant a necessity."
261
"A wealthy man can afford everything except a conscience."
263
"Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum."
266
"When in doubt, lie."
284
"I've been almost obsessed with the Two Hundred and
Eighty-Fourth Rule." "Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi." -
Quark / Sisko, DS9 Novel #24 The Conquered (Rebels book 1 of 3)
by Daffyd ab
Hugh
285
"No good deed ever goes unpunished."
299
"Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank
them." - Neelix posing as Grand Proxy, False Prophets episode, (VOY/2). This is not a real Rule of Acquisition.
Unwritten Rule
"When no appropriate rule applies, make one up." -
Arridor, False Prophets, (VOY/2)
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