My Dedication to the
Tribbles
of Star Trek
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This page was last updated on 02/20/01.
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Tribbles were first encountered in The
Trouble with Tribbles TOS episode. The encounter took place on
Star Date 4523.3 on Deep Space Station K-7.
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What are Tribbles?
"The galaxy's quickest multiplying species - No contest here.
Tribbles, a species of small, furry creatures, procreate without pause and enjoy an
insanely short gestation period. However, their rate of reproduction is dependent on
their ability to ingest food. So if you've got a houseful of tribbles and you don't
know what to do, let the little critters go hungry for a while. And don't invite
Klingons over for dinner. Tribbles and Klingons do not get along." -- Q's
Guide to the Continuum by Michael Jan Friedman and Robert Greenberger; � Paramount
Pictures - No infringement intended.
The Human Perspective:
Uhura: "Oooo! What is it? Is it alive? May I hold it?
Ohhh! It's adorable. What is it?"
Jones: "Why lovely lady, it's a tribble."
Uhura: "A tribble?"
Jones: "Only the sweetest creature known to man,
excepting, of course, your lovely self." TWT
Uhura: "Well, if you're not going to take him, I'll take him. I think he's cute."
TWT
Jones: "Once this lovely little lady starts to show this precious
little darling around, you won't be able to keep up with them."
TWT
Jones (to Scott): "Ah! Friend! Can I offer you a charming
little tribble?" TWT
Jones (to Korax): "Ah! Friend Klingon! [tribble squeals] Can I
interest you in a harmless little tribble?"
TWT
McCoy: "They're nice, they're soft, they're furry and they make a
pleasant sound."
Spock: "So would an ermin violin ... but I see no advantage in having one."
McCoy: "It is a human charactersitic to love little animals,
especially if they are attractive in some way."
Spock: "... I am well aware of human characteristics. I am frequently inundated
by them but I have trained myself to put up with practically anything."
McCoy: "... I don't know too much about these little tribbles yet, but there is on
thing that I have discovered."
Spock: "What is that ...?"
McCoy: "I like them -- better than I like you."
TWT
Uhura: "Oh, but they do give us something.... They give us
love. -- Well, Cyrano Jones says that a tribble is the only love money
can buy." TWT
Jones: "Well, if by that you mean do they breed quickly? Well, of course,
that's how I maintain my stock. But breeding animals is not against regulations,
only breeding dangerous ones. And tribbles are not dangerous."
TWT
Kirk: "I thought you said tribbles liked everybody?"
Jones: "Well, they do! I can't understand it. The last time I saw one act
this way was at the bar."
Kirk: "Who was at the bar?"
Jones: "Klingons!"
Kirk: "You were right, Mr. Jones. They don't like Klingons. TWT
Kirk: "I think I could learn to like tribbles." TWT
Odo: "... Cyrano Jones ... told me tribbles like everyone,
but this one doesn't seem to like you."
Worf: "The feeling is mutual. They are detestable creatures."
Odo: "Interesting! It's been my observations that most humanoids love
soft, furry animals. Especially if they make pleasing sounds."
TAT
The Klingon Perspective:
Jones (to Korax): "Ah! Friend Klingon! [tribble squeals] Can I
interest you in a harmless little tribble?"
Korax: "Get it away from me."
Jones: "I'm sorry. I can't understand it. I've never seen it act this way
before."
Korax: "Get out of here with that parasite."
Jones: "He's only a harmless little --"
Korax: "Take it away." TWT
Korax: "The Earthers like these fuzzy things!"
TWT
Kolath: "Before you go on, may I make a request? Can you get these
things out of here? TWT
Darvin (after faced with discovery by tribbles): "All right! I
poisoned the grain."
Kirk: "And the tribbles had nothing to do with it?"
Darvin "I don't know. I never saw one before in my life and I hope I
never see one of those fuzzy, miserable things again." TWT
Worf: "They are detestable creatures."
Odo: "Interesting! It's been my observations that most humanoids love soft, furry
animals. Especially if they make pleasing sounds."
Worf: "They do nothing but consume food and breed. If you feed that thing more than
the smallest morsel in a few hours you'll have ten tribbles, then a hundred, then a
thousand."
Odo: "Calm down!"
Worf: "They were once considered mortal enemies to the Klingon Empire."
Odo: "This?" (Odo holds up tribble) [tribble squeals]
Odo: "A mortal enemy of the Empire?"
Worf: "They were an ecological menace. A plague to be wiped out."
Odo: "Wiped out? What are you saying?"
Worf: "Hundreds of warriors were sent to track them down through out
the galaxy. An armada obliterated the tribble home world. By the end of the 23rd Century,
they had been eradicated."
Odo: "Another glorious chapter of Klingon history. Tell me! Do they still sing songs
of the great tribble hunt?" TAT
The Vulcan Perspective:
McCoy: "What's the matter Spock?"
Spock: "There is something disquieting about these creatures."
McCoy: "Oh! Don't tell me you've got a feeling?"
Spock: "Don't be insulting.... They remind me of the lilies of the field.
They toil not, neither do they spin, but, they seem to eat a great
deal. I see no practical use for them.
McCoy: "Does everything have to have a practical use for you? They're nice,
they're soft, they're furry and they make a pleasant sound."
Spock: "So would an ermin violin ... but I see no advantage in having one."
McCoy: "It is a human characteristic to love little animals, especially if they are
attractive in some way."
Spock: "... I am well aware of human characteristics. I am frequently inundated
by them but I have trained myself to put up with practically anything."
McCoy: "... I don't know too much about these little tribbles yet, but there is on
thing that I have discovered."
Spock: "What is that ...?"
McCoy: "I like them -- better than I like you."
Spock: "They do indeed have one redeeming characteristic."
McCoy: "What is that?"
Spock: "They do not talk too much." TWT
Kirk: "But they do like Vulcans. (to Spock) I didn't know you had it
in you, Mr. Spock."
Spock: "Obviously, tribbles are very perceptive creatures."
Kirk: "Obviously!" TWT
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Where do Tribbles come from?
Cyrano Jones: "I have something from the far
reaches of the galaxy. Surely you want --"
Uhura: "Oooo! What is it? Is it alive? May I hold it?
Ohhh! It's adorable. What is it?"
Jones: "Why lovely lady, it's a tribble." TWT
Spock: "Surely you must have realized what would happen if you removed the
tribbles from their predator filled environment into an
environment where their natural multiplicative proclivities would have no restraining
factors?" TWT
Worf: "Hundreds of warriors were sent to track them down through out the galaxy. An
armada obliterated the tribble home world. By the end of the 23rd
Century, they had been eradicated."
Odo: "Another glorious chapter of Klingon history. Tell me! Do they still sing songs
of the great tribble hunt?" TAT
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Tribble Characteristics:
Chekov: "He won't bite, will he?"
Jones: "... transporting harmful animals from one planet to another is against
regulations; or weren't you aware of that? Besides, tribbles have no
teeth." TWT
McCoy: "... do you mind if I take one of these down to the lab and see what makes
it tick?
Uhura: "Well, all right Doctor, but if you're going to dissect it, I don't want to
know about it.
McCoy: "I won't harm a hair on it's head, wherever that is."
TWT
Spock: "They do indeed have one redeeming characteristic."
McCoy: "What is that?"
Spock: "They do not talk too much." TWT
McCoy: "-- It's the tribbles who are breeding. And if we don't get them off
the ship, we're going to be hip deep in them. -- The nearest thing I can figure out is
that they're born pregnant. Which seems to be quite a time saver. -- And from my
observations, it seems they're bisexual, reproducing at
will. -- And, brother, have they got a lot of will." TWT
Jones: "Well, if by that you mean do they breed quickly? Well, of course,
that's how I maintain my stock. But breeding animals is not against regulations,
only breeding dangerous ones. And tribbles are not dangerous."
Kirk: "Just incredibly prolific."
Jones: "Precisely! And at six credits a head, -- uh, that is, a
body, it mounts up. Now if you'll excuse me --" TWT
Kirk: "I thought you said tribbles liked everybody?"
Jones: "Well, they do! I can't understand it. The last time I saw one act
this way was at the bar."
Kirk: "Who was at the bar?"
Jones: "Klingons! Him (motioning toward Korax) for one."
Kirk (walks to security officers and takes two tribbles then walks toward Korax, the
tribbles squeal): "You were right, Mr. Jones. They don't like
Klingons. (McCoy enters the room, Kirk walks to Spock with
tribbles) But they do like Vulcans. (to Spock) I didn't know you had it
in you, Mr. Spock."
Spock: "Obviously, tribbles are very perceptive creatures."
Kirk: "Obviously! ( Kirk walks to Mr. Barris) Mr. Barris, they like you.
Well there is no accounting for taste. (Kirk walks to Mr. Darvin, the
tribbles squeal) They don't like you Mr. Darvin? I wonder why?
Bones?"
McCoy (scanning Darvin): "Heartbeat is all wrong. His body temperature is --
... this man is a Klingon." TWT
Kirk: "Do you know what the penalty is for transporting an animal proven
harmful to human life?"
Jones: "... One little tribble isn't harmful. --"
Spock: "The penalty is twenty years in a rehabilitation colony." TWT
Worf: "They do nothing but consume food and breed. If you feed that
thing more than the smallest morsel in a few hours you'll have ten tribbles, then a
hundred, then a thousand." TAT
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Tribble Diet:
Chekov: "Hey, he's eating my grain."
TWT
McCoy: "What's the matter Spock?"
Spock: "There is something disquieting about these creatures."
McCoy: "Oh! Don't tell me you've got a feeling?"
Spock: "Don't be insulting.... They remind me of the lilies of the field.
They toil not, neither do they spin, but, they seem to eat a great
deal. I see no practical use for them. TWT
Spock: "I've been running computations on their rate of reproduction. The
figures are taking an alarming direction. They are consuming our
supplies and returning nothing." TWT
McCoy: "I think I've got it. All we have to do is quit feeding them. We
quit feeding them, they stop breeding."
Kirk [still buried in tribbles]: "Now he tells me." TWT
Spock: "This tribble is dead. And so are these."
McCoy [after scanning the pile of tribbles]: "A lot of them are dead. A lot of
them are alive, but they won't be for long."
Spock: "The logical assumption is that there is something in the grain."
Kirk: "... I want the tribbles, the grain, everything analyzed. I want to know
what killed these tribbles."
McCoy: "I haven't figured out what keeps them alive yet."
TWT
Worf: "They do nothing but consume food and breed. If you feed that
thing more than the smallest morsel in a few hours you'll have ten tribbles, then a
hundred, then a thousand." TAT
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Tribble Reproduction:
McCoy: "How long have you had that thing ...?"
Uhura: "Since yesterday ...! This morning, I found out he, I mean she, had had
babies." TWT
Kirk (re: tribbles): "How many of these did Uhura give you?"
McCoy: "Just one!"
Kirk: "But you've got -- eleven?"
McCoy: "You've noticed that ...?"
Kirk: "How do they -- ?"
McCoy: "I haven't figured that out yet. But I can tell you this much. Almost
fifty percent of the creatures metabolism is geared for reproduction.
Do you know what you get if you feed a tribble too much?"
Kirk: "A fat tribble."
McCoy: "No! You get a whole bunch of hungry little tribbles." TWT
McCoy: "-- It's the tribbles who are breeding. And if we don't get them off
the ship, we're going to be hip deep in them. -- The nearest thing I can
figure out is that they're born pregnant. Which seems to be quite
a time saver. -- And from my observations, it seems they're bisexual,
reproducing at will. -- And, brother, have they got a lot of will." TWT
Spock: "I've been running computations on their rate of
reproduction. The figures are taking an alarming direction.
They are consuming our supplies and returning nothing." TWT
Spock: "Surely you must have realized what would happen if you removed the
tribbles from their predator filled environment into an environment where their
natural multiplicative proclivities would have no restraining
factors?"
Jones: "Well of co -- What did you say?"
Spock: "By removing the tribbles from their natural habitat, you have, so to speak,
removed the cork from the bottle and allowed the genie to escape."
Jones: "Well, if by that you mean do they breed quickly? Well,
of course, that's how I maintain my stock. But breeding animals is
not against regulations, only breeding dangerous ones. And tribbles are not
dangerous."
Kirk: "Just incredibly prolific."
Jones: "Precisely! And at six credits a head, -- uh, that is, a body, it mounts
up. Now if you'll excuse me --" TWT
[After Kirk is buried by tribbles falling from grain storage compartments]
Barris: "There must be thousands of them."
Kirk: "Hundreds of thousands."
Spock: "1,771,561! That's assuming one tribble multiplying with
an average litter of ten producing a new generation every twelve hours over a period of
three days."
Kirk: "And that's assuming that they got here three days ago."
Spock: "And allowing for the grain consumed and the volume of the storage
compartment." TWT
McCoy: "I think I've got it. All we have to do is quit feeding them. We
quit feeding them, they stop breeding." TWT
Worf: "They do nothing but consume food and breed. If you feed that
thing more than the smallest morsel in a few hours you'll have ten tribbles, then a
hundred, then a thousand." TAT
O'Brien (needing to scan tribbles for a bomb): "I'm not sure we can get to K-7s
internal sensors."
Sisko: "Then you will have to manually scan every tribble on the station."
O'Brien: "But there must be thousands of them by now."
Bashir: "Hundreds of thousands."
Jadzia Dax: "1,771,561! That's starting with one tribble with an
average litter of ten every twelve hours after three days...."
TAT
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Tribble Sounds:
Uhura: "It's purring. --"
Jones: "It's only saying that it likes you." TWT
Spock: "Most curious creature. ... its trilling
seems to have a tranquilizing effect on the human nervous system. Fortunately, of
course, I am immune to its effect." TWT
[tribble trills]
Worf: "What is that sound?"
Odo: "Soothing, isn't it? The bartender called it
--"
[tribble squeals]
Worf: "-- a tribble." TAT
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Other Tribble References
"No games? Why, mon capitaine, you might as well ask a sun not
to blaze or a tribble not to multiply." - Q, Q-Space (The Q Continuum Book 1
of 3) by Greg Cox, TNG Novel # 47
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Sources of Quotes:
TWT - The Trouble with Tribbles (TOS)
TAT - Trials and Tribble-ations (DS9)