RECORD REVIEWS: ISSUE THREE

Note: this is not a complete archive of issue three's record reviews, so if you sent something in and it isn't reviewed here don't panic, as it will be in the finished zine, and in "latest records" when it is done.

 

ALL - s/t CD (Owned & Operated)

This is the perfect album for anyone stupid enough not to own all (hee hee hee! - Paul) of the early albums (that’d be me, then). This is a ‘greatest hits’ thing stretching from ‘Allroy Says’ all the way through to ‘Pummel’, and it’s great. There isn’t really a bad song here. It’s good to hear all (hee hee hee! - Paul) three vocalists (oh yeah, and some guy called Milo something-or-other for one song, whoever he is) because all three have great voices. Get this if you don’t own many ALL albums; it’s a cohesive collection of cool cuts. (Jack)

AGNOSTIC FRONT - Riot Riot Upstart CD (Epitaph)

I've never been a big fan of these guys, and this hasn't really changed my mind. The highlight is definitely 'Police State', the opening track, it's as cliched as hell and made me laugh out loud the first time I heard it, but it's a lot of fun and its energy is never really captured on any of the other songs here. There's some ok-ish anthemic type punk stuff on here too (the title track is the best of these) and I might start to get into this after a few listens. However, Paul and his fascistic 'the zine's gotta be ready for the Diesel Boy/Parasites gigs' deadlines (er… -Paul) means that as far as this review goes, this just didn't float my boat. Altogether now… 'Juliani, Juliani, Juliani, fuck you!' Ha ha! (Jack)

ASSERT - Left Opposition CD (Household Name)

I wasn't totally sure what I thought of this on first listen; it's early 80s style hardcore with a metal/thrash influence, with vocals that almost bring to mind early Metallica! However, it does suit this style of hardcore punk and, for once, this is a hardcore band you can understand most of what the singer is saying. The 12 songs on here are all consistently good, with lyrics dealing with revolution, unity and shitty TV. My main gripe with this is the production, the vocals and drums have a weird echo-y feel to them and that irritated me as soon as I started to listen to this. That aside, this is a fine album that will appeal to a wide range of punkers, 'United Colours' and 'Insight' are superb songs and, overall, I'm impressed. (Jack)

AT THE DRIVE-IN = 'Vaya' CDEP (Fearless)

From the label that first brought us Straight Faced (yay…) comes the fucked up sounds of At The Drive-In. And it's cool. I guess these guys are coming from a similar direction to Braid or Spy Versus Spy, except with a heavier guitar sound and loads of experimental type noises. I guess there is a bit of a Dischord influence here as well, what with the tempo changes and all. They've taken on board a wide range of influences (from the hardcore scene) and mixed it up to get a sound of their own. The last track '198d' is especially impressive, with the sweet-sung vocals and laid-back delivery. As with a lot of emo stuff, the lyrics are very obscure and hard to relate to oneself, but this is a minor complaint. I also wouldn't have expected Fearless to release something like this, but, well, life is full of surprises. (Jack)

THE ATARIS - Look Forward To Failure CDEP (Fat)

Ah, isn’t it just great when you find a band and they just totally rule? The Ataris are approaching things from a pop-punk angle, definitely, because every song is filled with hooks, but every song has its own little difference from the next. Basically this is outstanding, anyone with an interest in melodic stuff has to hear this band. Bonus points, too, for the Claire Danes and Jerry references in ‘My So Called Life’, but what’s this about not being as cool as Leonardo di Craprio? He’s a fucking no-talent doofus! Jack

THE ATARIS - Blue Skies, Broken Hearts... Next 12 Exits CD (Kung Fu)

While my review of this band may not be quite as hyperbole-laden as Jack’s, I must admit they are pretty damn good at the pop-punk thang. I really wish I hadn’t read that Joey Cape had produced this before I span it as that immediately prejudiced my opinion, as did the first track which is great but with its distorted-in-places vocals is scarily reminiscent of the first track off “Hoss”. However, the Ataris also whack in what can only be described as “emo-ish” (well, that’s the only way I can describe it, no doubt a more talented writer could think up summat better...) twists and turns to their songs, which has led me to describe them in the following neat-but-over-simplified soundbite: Lagwagon playing Gameface songs. If that idea appeals to you then you’ve struck gold! A solid release with some great songs and lyrics that any sappy teen (or sappy teen at heart) can relate to.

ATOM AND HIS PACKAGE - Making Love CD (No Idea)

This is the comedy record of the year by a fucking mile! Atom's lyrics and themes are just hilarious, I mean, anyone who can sing about the metric system being better than the imperial system of measurement and make it funny is a total genius. Musically I guess this is kinda new-wave-is, like Devo or Servotron, mixed with Weird Al Yankovic and the Moog Cookbook! The Package is actually a sampling/programming computer thing, so this is a one-man show. The big surprise of this CD is the live 'Lobster Mobster' track, coz they totally rock! It’s taken from a live show where Atom got together with some friends and did some punk rock versions of A&HP songs. The explanations of the songs are funny as fuck too! I'm just gutted I missed his tour last year. Jack

BEAUTY SCHOOL DROPOUT - Teasing The Fat Kids CD (Them's Good)

Been waiting for this to come out since they blew me away at last summer's Leeds all-dayer, and boy, was it worth the wait! Beauty School Dropout are the newest in a long line of bands taking their name from Grease such as Kenickie and… er… some others too, probably. At least they're not named after something from fucking Star Wars. Anyway, BSD play pop-punk pure and simple, with all the special ingredients that combine to make pop-punk so yummy: distinctive vocals, harmonies, hooks and melodies a-plenty and songs about girls… excellent stuff indeed, bringing to mind My Brain Hurts or Anthem era Screeching Weasel, Parasites and Skimmer. It's rare to hear such quality pop-punkage in this day and age where everyone and his dog is playing emo or skate-punk, and because pop-punk is the best type of music ever (don't argue!), this is the best album of '99. Beauty School Dropout are serious contenders for the best band in Britain, though the jury is still out on whether or not they beat the mighty Skimmer… it's a close one, though.

BEST - 'Huwuno' CD single (Seriously Groovy)

Oh, I really wanted this to be awful so I could use the oh-so witty 'more like' formula and end the review with 'Best? Worst, more like!' line, but that would be too harsh. This sounds like the pope of distortion city visiting melody town, to use a completely rubbish metaphor. Imagine Marilyn Manson crossed with latter day Blur… yeah, I know, it sounds like it'd be worse than the sound of nails dragging across a blackboard but it actually works, and I can see all the "alternative" kids back home dancing to this at the "alternative" club at the Pier in Wigan. A bit too Kerrangy for me, but I do have a lot of time for Seriously Groovy, as they put out original bands that I always think will suck yet they always leave me presently surprised. Best? Bella more like. Or something.

BIGWIG - Stay Asleep CD (Kung Fu)

More Fat-style skate punk from baggy trousered Americans. This is pretty good though; all the songs sound different and the vocalist has a fairly gruff voice which is a nice change from the super-slick overproduced vocals that most bands of this genre tend to have. If you're into this stuff then this is pretty much essential, and even if you're burned out by the oceans of stuff that is swamping the shelves at the moment it's still well worth a listen. Yeh, impressive.

BOMB JACKS - 'Hung Up' CDEP (Hectic)

Happy, happy pop-punk in an early-mid period Green Day/MxPx/Nerf Herder vein, meaning that this is totally my thing. Four tracks are on offer, the best being the title track. Fun cover of the Bryan Adams 'classic' 'Summer of 69' too, but they don't steal Wat Tyler's crown of 'Best Bryan Adams Cover Ever' (if you haven't heard their take on 'Everything I Do [I Do It For You]' you're seriously missing out!). If you like your punk to be completely saturated with pop then this is highly recommended, if not then it's not.

BOUNCING SOULS - Hopeless Romantic CD (Epitaph)

Ah, what can be said about the 'Souls that hasn't already been said? They take oi, hardcore and a large dose of pop, swallow, half-digest then puke the resultant goop out of your speakers. Perhaps this is better than their last album, and if you're a fan you'll be on this faster than Walt Flanagan's dog. Nice boy/girl duet on the ace 'Wish Me Well (You Can Go To Hell)' and a Breakfast Club quote on 'Kid' make an excellent record even better. If you haven't already got this then buy it now before everyone finds out and laughs at you behind your back.

BOUNCING SOULS - ‘Fight to Live’ CD single (Epitaph)

Decent track from the current album, backed up with live versions of 'Here We Go' and 'Neurotic'. Good stuff and all that, but there's not really much point to this release, unless you absolutely must have live versions of BS songs. For completists only.

BRADWORTHY - 'The Devil Has The Best Tunes' 7" (Ground Zero)

Yeah, baby! This is just the kind of pop-punk I like. Strong vocals, excellent guitarmanship and all held together by a tight rhythm section. This has that mid-paced British punk rock thing to a tee, and it destroys most of the Bad Religion/NOFX/Fat Wreck type bands doing the rounds at the mo'. Bradworthy: you rock! Jack

BRAID - 'Please Drive Faster' 7" (Polyvinyl)

Dammit, they broke up. I don't believe it… anyway, this is their last 7", and what a corker it is too. The title track is Braid at their best; totally great, upbeat, unhinged, melodic indie-rock which is possibly the best song they've ever done. The B-side is a more relaxed affair, still rocking, just in a different, less immediate way. This is quite a way to bow out, but I think they quit on the verge of true greatness if this was any inclination of what they were capable of. Watch out for the 'ex-members' effect with these guys, tho'… Jack

BURNING AIRLINES - Mission: Control! CD (Desoto)

New band for J. Robbins and Bill Barbot (both ex-Jawbox) and this carries on where Jawbox left off, skewed melodies and sharp rhythms are aplenty here. However, on some tracks, for example 'Wheaton Calling', there's almost a Britpop (pardon my French, people) element and although the songs are still punchy, they're kinda, um, well not as good as the more rocking tracks like 'Meccano' or the awesome opening song 'Carnival', which is one of the best songs I've heard recently. I can listen to it all the way through though, so it never gets particularly bad. J. Robbins' lyrics are once again superb, lots of clever imagery and paranoia, and there's a great sample thing on the track '(my pornograph') too. Watch out for 'em on tour with the Promise Ring soon. (Jack)

CLEVELAND BOUND DEATH SENTENCE - s/t CD (Lookout)

There's an obvious comparison that one can make about this release, which I am loathe to do because it seems to be based solely on the members of the band, even though this really is how they sound in my ears. Maybe it is the knowledge of the members that has corrupted my auditory receptors and they really sound nothing like this at all… anyway, that comparison: this sounds like early Pinhead Gunpowder meets Dillinger 4. There, I've said it. Oh, and there are occasional girly-vocals bits too. This is East Bay punk rock circa ten years ago, and the kind of thing that you would've expected to find on Lookout back then. Solid release, probably no longer "cool" but if you care about that then you are quite the fool.

THE COGS - Viva CD (Damaged Goods)

This mini album is my first exposure to the Cogs, and it has changed my life. Well, not quite, but this is damn, damn good. The Cogs play pure, unadulterated power pop, sounding like the Ramones playing Blondie songs fronted by the secret love child of Debbie "Deborah" Harry and Kim Shattuck, mixing equal parts of sugar and balls (mmm, what a tasty combination!) with fuzzy guitars and handclaps - yay! Opener 'No Expectations' is the best song on the CD and perhaps the best song I heard last year, one song rips off 'New Rose' (see, my musical knowledge doesn't start with 'Dookie'!), they seem to be obsessed with Cuba even though their sound is very New York, and they are just plain brilliant. Pop fans should definitely not ignore this one. Viva la Cogs!

DANCE HALL CRASHERS - Purr CD (Pink and Black)

How many record labels does Fat Mike want? Does he want each individual band to have their own label? Anyway. This is the new Dance Hall Crashers CD. If you liked them before, well, you’ll still like them. If you didn’t like them before you still won’t like them. It’s the usual mix of popped-up no-horns ska-punk, but perhaps a little less slick than “Honey I’m Homely” which is to it’s credit. Enjoyable, but nothing to get excited over.

DILLINGER 4 - This Shite Is Genius CD (Crackle)

I can't believe I didn't like this band when I first heard 'em. If I ever slag a band off to any of you reading this, stop me and remind me that I'll probably love 'em in six months. Heh heh! Anyway, this is a compilation of 7"s and comp tracks delivered in that trademark D4 style, that 'style' being overdriven punk rock that knows how to be aggressive and retain a sense of melody at the same time. The inlay has explanations of each song which is cool; more bands should do that. The intro to 'One Trick Pony' is funny as hell, but my fave is definitely 'Two Cents'; its condemnation of people who don't have any courage behind their convictions struck a chord with me as I often find myself shutting my mouth to avoid verbal confrontation. That song was a bit of a wake-up call. But c'mon, this is on Crackle, so you've got no excuse not to get this. So go get it. Jack

DR. FRANK - Show Business Is My Life CD (Lookout)

Been waiting for this with anxious anticipation for ages, unsure whether it would be a masterpiece or a disappointment. Not sure whether "masterpiece" is the word, but it's certainly far from disappointing… a few of the tracks would've fitted in on a (pre-Alcatraz) MTX album, such as the excellent opener 'She Turned Out To Be Crazy'. Some tracks are just Frank and a guitar, varying from great (the acoustic/electric combination on 'Population: Us') to not-so-great ('Sad Sad Shadow' sounds like an REM out-take circa 'Automatic for the People'). There are also flirtations with jangly pop (the great 'Two Martinis from Now'), country, toy instruments, a track backed up by the Hi-Fives, and the excellent but weird 'This Isn't About You Anymore' which ends the album. Throughout Frank is backed up by such esteemed scenesters as Aaron Cometbus, Joe Queer, Kepi from the Groovie Ghoulies and some members of Me First. So this is mostly great with the odd dull moment, and even if the last MTX album has put you off checking this out I'd recommend changing your mind and giving it a spin. Hopefully the good doctor will record another solo record someday, and play more solo shows too… the one in London last summer was a blast!

DOWNWARD THING – ‘Nothing New/God Man’ promo CD (Sucka-Punch)

I have absolutely no idea why I was sent this to review. Since when was this a grunge/metal zine? Since never, that’s when. This promo offers two yawnsome tracks of the kind of thing that I guess is like a cross between Soundgarden and Limp Bizkit or something, but that’s probably completely off the mark. Unimaginative, boring, plodding plop-rock that goes nowhere slowly. This CD has no place in either this review section my record collection, so the next ‘Downward Thing’ that it will encounter will be my toilet as I flush it away! A-hahaha! Ha?

DUGONG 7” - 'I'm Not Listening' 7" (Bombed Out)

This sounds like a cross between the Get Up Kids and Chopper. OK, that’s a lazy comparison considering that they’re from Wakefield and play that sort of emo-meets-pop-punk stuff that’s popular with all the kids who wear those dinky backpacks (wow, a lazy comparison and a sweeping generalisation in one review!), but I think it’s a good way of describing them, so ner. Four tracks on here, all good ‘uns but the best being the stop-start madness of ‘Two Way Traffic’. I reckon big things await da ‘gong, and hey, drummer Tim is Wakey’s answer to Moby! Well, he looks like him anyway. A bit. Sort of. In a ‘not at all’ sort of way. Anyway…

THE DUVALS – ‘Capital Letters’ CD single (Mother Stoat)

This was bought for me by a (very drunk!) Davey Puppet at the Snuff/LTJ/Duvals show in Sheffield after we were both quite impressed by The Duvals’ set (and quite relieved that King Yawn weren’t playing as advertised…). Anyway, I know you don’t care about that, but even though I like this record I needed some waffle to fill out the review, for all I could think of to write about it was this: “Three solid, tuneful tracks here sounding like a cross between Leatherface (especially the gravely vocals) and the Swingin’ Utters’ more laid-back moments,” and that was nowhere near long enough to print as an entire review. But now, thanks to my supreme rambling skills, the review is of adequate length! Hurrah!

EGG RAID - Kiss the Blind CD (FEK)

For a start, the vocals sound horrible on this - they're distorted and way too far down in the mix. Musically this isn't too hot either - it just doesn’t seem to go anywhere and is far too gloomy for my taste. Kudos to them for putting in all the effort and releasing their own CD and all that, but I just didn't like it one bit.

EIGHTY SIX – ‘Raining and Falling’ CDEP (Bombed Out)

Third release from this fairly new Leeds label, and what a choice! Eighty Six have only been around for about a year yet they’ve impressed everyone who has seen them live, and I’m happy to report that their debut recorded output lives up to expectations, er, “and then some”. Or something. Anyway, Eighty Six knock out what us lazy reviewers tend to call ‘emo’, with all the prerequisite quiet/loud/fast/slow/intricate/noisy bits that you could ever want, backed up with great songwriting and tight playing. The tracks all sound distinctive, veering from the poppy ‘Not As Warm As You’ to the thrashier ‘Belloch’, yet, like all the best bands, they never sound disjointed or contrived and the EP flows well from one track to the next. It’s hard to believe that this is their debut release as it is sounds so tight and accomplished. Certainly one of my favourite Brit bands at the moment, and a pretty darn essential purchase. Marks out of ten? Eighty Six! Ha ha ha! Do you see?

EMETREX – ‘The Birds Your Brothers’ CDEP (Seriously Groovy)

Boasting the ex-guitarist of Wheat (try not to get too excited), Emetrex play laid-back ‘slacker rock’ which reminds me of Pavement, Imperial Teen and Dinosaur Jr, though with a more tuneful, indie-pop edge. Perhaps it’s a bit too mellow – you find yourself wishing they’d rock out a bit every now and then. Nonetheless, this is pleasant stuff and, while not the kind of record that tops the Scary Sheep Hit Parade, it passed the ‘listening to a whole track without skipping’ test, which few CDs seem to be capable of at the moment. The fourth track is pretty damn boring, but the rest is ‘nice’ enough. Fans of the bands mentioned earlier will dig it anyways.

ERASE TODAY - Colour Sound & Vibration CD (JSNTGM)

I almost bought an Erase Today 12" from my local record shop's bargain bin once but didn't cos I was a bit short on cash at the time. I hope it's still there. Rough, mid-paced melodic punk with thoughtful lyrics in the vein of Leatherface and Fifteen, maybe not quite up there with those two band but still more than worthy of your attention. Almost worth buying just for the corking opener 'Feels Like Rain'. Good, good stuff.

GAMEFACE - Every Last Time CD (Revelation)

Unfeasibly popular emo-popsters Gameface's long-awaited newie is no disappointment. As usual with bands of this ilk this took a few plays before it really "connected" with me but it was well worth it. Expertly crafted melodies combined with great vocals and lyrics make this one to look out for. It may be slower than previous releases but its no less powerful, and although I'm still unsure as to whether this gets to me quite as much as "Three to Get Ready" or the "Cupcakes" EP it's still a great record. Emo for the pop-punkers? Pop-punk for emo-kids? Either way, everyone wins.

GET UP KIDS - Something to Write Home About (Vagrant)

Wonderful, that's the only way to describe this. The CD has barely left my stereo since it arrived, usurping there previously immovable Beauty School Dropout CD. I really don't understand how anyone could not like this and, going by the general consensus, nobody does dislike it. For the few doofuses who remain in the dark, the Get Up Kids play emo-pop in the vein of Dugong, varying from upbeat, melodic pop to more maudlin, contemplative numbers, gelling together to make one cohesive album. Current fave track is 'Close to Home', but almost every time I play this that changes. Everyone loves this, even the NME, Melody Maker (even though they were referred to as 'Cut Up Kids' just a few weeks ago…) and Kerrap!, but don't let that put you off as, in this case, the hype is justified. This is about to be released on Epitaph over here even though everyone already owns it, but there are two extra tracks added so that everyone buys it again (except one is on the ‘Red Letter Day’ EP and one is on the split with the Anniversary, so it doesn’t really matter). Still, this is a sublime record, and everyone should own it at least once.

GOT MILF? - s/t CD (self released)

Look, I bought a bunch of these CDs cos I liked their demo and its Weasel/Vindictives style snot-punk. I like this CD too, despite being a bit quiet and having not too great production. However, the tunes are good, the lyrics are funny on the whole and with 29 tracks for £5 you really can’t go far wrong. So buy one off me. Please. It comes with a free patch too. Seriously, if you like snotty pop-punk then this is definitely your thing. Buy one so I can afford to eat. Thanks.

GRADE - Under the Radar CD (Victory)

Grade have taken two styles; the screamy hardcore of bands like Strife and Snapcase and the emo-rock of bands like Sensefield and Texas Is The Reason, and made a fucking astounding album. In the hands of a lesser band the clash of these two styles could have been a disaster which ended up appealing to nobody, but the tunes on these songs are really memorable and the riffs powerful and crunching. It's also good to hear a Victory band takes its hardcore in a more melodic direction instead of heading into deep, dark, shite metal (that's pronounced 'mett-all' by the way) territory. The lyrics are pretty much personal anecdotes and 'revolution within oneself' type stuff. The music here though is a breath of fresh air, this could well be a very important record in opening peoples' eyes to new styles of hardcore punk. This is a near perfect record to take me toward the summer and probably through it too. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I really like this record. (Jack)

GRAMPUS EIGHT/DINA split CDEP (The Kids Can’t Understand The Emotion)

Eight tracks in total are on offer from these two Liverpool bands. First up are this issue’s interview stars Dina with three tracks, the first being the total pop (and excellent) ‘Give Us A Smile’, the second a more emo-ish number and the third indie-pop. Good stuff overall. Next up are five tracks of Grampus Eight, who are a bit weirder than Dina, playing more ‘experimental’, unconventional emo/indie type stuff, though they too have an excellent pop song in ‘Minerva’, and ‘Sea Shanty Number Nine’ is a great emo-meets-sea-shanty type thing. Well worth picking up, as neither band serves up a dud and both manage an absolute classic apiece.

GRAND CENTRAL - What Has Transpired CDEP (Solid State)

I saw these guys supporting Spy Versus Spy recently and was grabbed by their mid-paced ‘rockier SENSEFIELD’ tuneage so I bought their CD, and it’s OK. Well, this is good for a first release, the songs are catchy enough and the singer has a great soaring voice. It just didn’t hit me in the chest and make me say “Fuck me, this is great”. However, they did have that effect live, so I guess when they play near you you should check ‘em out. I’ll be watching for future releases - there is great promise here. Jack

GUTTERMOUTH - Gorgeous CD (Nitro)

Nobody likes Guttermouth, do they? I hated them before it was cool to hate them, not because of their lyrics (bad as they are) but because musically they are as stale as some bread that you bought four years ago but forgot about and left in your kitchen for all that time and only found when you were moving house and it was covered in green mould and smells a bit like old people and vinegar. This is dull music for dull suburban teens. Gorgeous? Gormless, more like. Ha ha ha! I made that up myself!

H20 - F.T.T.W. CD (Epitaph)

The H20 boys are back with another disc of their slick, tuneful, aggressive hardcore… well, I dunno if this even qualifies as a hardcore record. It’s still got those group shout things but this is so melodic that it could almost be described as pop… well, almost. This is certainly poppier than Thicker Than Water, and sounds a heck of a lot like labelmates the Bouncing Souls in places, which isn’t a bad thing. In fact, Bouncing Souls with a slightly more NYHC vibe is probably the best way to describe this record. Good stuff indeed. Hardcore for pop-fans, and vice-versa.

THE HIVES - Veni Vidi Vicious CD (Burning Heart)

Sleazy, trashy, messy, sloppy, garagey rock'n'roll mayhem… yep, that pretty much sums up the Hives. The vocals are kinda distorted and I guess this is really just 60s Rolling Stones/Who-type rock'n'roll played with punk attitude and venom, but unlike many bands of this ilk the Hives manage to pull off a whole album of this stuff without getting monotonous or samey, varying the pace and the level of fuckeduptitude. They all dress in matching suits, as you expect and demand for bands who sound like this. Best song title: 'The Hives - Introduce The Metric System In Time'. Well I liked it anyway. No matter how hard you scratch you won't get rid of these Hives - they're infectious, baby!

HOT WATER MUSIC - No Division CD (Some Records)

The first thing that confronted me as I pressed play was this awesome chant from 'The Gainesville Radical Cheerleading Squad', Wow, how cool is that? But could the music follow that, eh? You're damn right it could! This is proper 'new school' hardcore; it retains the abrasive guitars and harsh vocals (which could put some people off this band, if they're complete scaredy cats), but it's got melody too. A shitload of it. Check out 'Our Own Way' and 'In Song' to discover what I mean. And this also has the best lyrics I've read for quite a while: 'Live by your heart and value the love that you find, and then you'll have all you need.' See what I mean? You need this record, really you do. I'd say this is my album of '99 and justifiably so. Jack

I AGAINST I - I'm A F***ed Up Dancer But My Moods Are Swinging CD (Epitaph)

Look, if you want a naughty word in your album title then have a naughty word in your album title, not a rough approximation of one. If you're so worried that shops won't stock it then call it something else (this reminds me, my local record shop recently got a copy of a certain Big Black LP and, so as not to offend any of their less open-minded customers, they stuck a sticker over the rude word so that it read 'Songs About Fishing'. This amused me no end.). Anyway, the record. Well, it starts with a keyboard version of 'Maybe Tomorrow' from the last album before blasting into two decent melodicore stompers… then it all goes a bit dull. Credit where credit's due, they do try to do a few original things, chucking in some computery sounds on 'Change of Address' and 'One Last Warning' . They're hardly Refused but it's used to good effect. However, while this is better than the last album it's still nothing special. Half the songs held my interest, the other half were dull, generic Epifat pap. Maybe the next album will be the one where they show what they're really capable of, but I'm not holding my breath. Boring as fuck (sorry, f***) live, too.

IMBALANCE/PROPAGUMBHIS – split CDEP (Blind Bear)

Two of the best bands doing the rounds at the moment share this CD, starting with Imbalance, currently the best hardcore band in the whole of Grimsby. What makes Imbalance great is, er, their balance of thoughtful (but not preachy) lyrics, the variation in their sound (though usually the right side of melodic) and the energy that exudes from the tracks on this CD (and even more so live). Following Imbalance are the Propagumbhis, one of the few ska-punk bands that are worth a fuck. Gruff vocals, horns, fast guitars, lyrics about something (a rarity for ska-punk bands!) and plain and simply damn catchy tunes make the Gumbis a cut above the rest of the genre. A fine release from this fledgling label, and one which anyone with an interest in the UK scene should definitely check out.

IN MY EYES - Nothing to Hide CD (Revelation)

Holy shit, this is awesome! If you like the sound of Gorilla Biscuits and Better Than a Thousand mixed with a more focused, melodic sound then this album is for you. The twelve tracks on here clock in at just under twenty minutes, so this is definitely a short sharp shock to the system. The lyrics on here are good, mainly dealing with the personal politics of the singer, but the main thing that makes this album such a joy to listen to is the awesome melodic guitar hooks on songs like 'Perspective' and 'The Weight of Words'. This just gets better with every listen. Along with Kid Dynamite and Imbalance, this is one band that just stands above most bands of this ilk. The name's kinda unoriginal though, fellas. I look forward to bands being called 'Small Man, Big Mouth' or 'Little Friend' (Minor Threat joke, you fuckers!)! (Jack)

JAWBREAKER - Live 4/30.96 CD (Blackball)

Posthumous live release from this highly influential "emo" band, recorded on tour when supporting the Foo Fighters. There are just nine tracks here, but three of them are unreleased ('Gemini', 'For Esme' and 'Shirt'), meaning that this is an essential purchase for the legions of Jawbreaker fans out there. Out of the new tracks I think Gemini is the best, being an upbeat, poppy kinda song, though the other tracks are no slouches either. To be honest the other tracks are sort of superfluous as they don't really add anything to the studio versions, but again, fans will be desperate for them anyway, and it does serve as a good introduction to those who are uninitiated to the delights of Jawbreaker. Essential for anyone still in mourning over the split, but with the forthcoming rarities compilation and the promise of new Jets to Brazil material (the new stuff they played at the gigs last year was amazing!) there's a lot to be happy about…

JIMMY EAT WORLD - s/t CDEP (Fuelled By Ramen)

I was playing this CD when a mate came round a while ago, and he exclaimed, “This sounds like U2!” Yeah, well if U2 produced fantastic indie-emo-rock like this maybe we’d have some good stuff in the hit parade. There is just an air of quality to JIMMY EAT WORLD; the delicate vocals, the fantastic dual guitar arrangements, the fine songsmithery... everything about this is just wonderful. Yeah, OK, there is probably no punk/HC element here, but really, who gives a damn if it’s good? Anyone with any interest in that whole college rock thing NEEDS to hear this band. Jack

THE LILLINGTONS - Death By Television CD (Panic Button)

Going from the strength of the Lillingtons tracks that appeared on “More Bounce to the Ounce” I was expecting this to be excellent. I must confess that I was a tad disappointed, but there are still some great songs on here. The Lillingtons are one of the many Screeching Weasel/Queers influenced bands out there BUT! instead of singing about (just) girls they have a sort of B-movie monster/UFO theme going on. It’s a solid album with one or two stand out tracks (“X-Ray Specs” and “Robots in My Dreams”) and it should appeal to fans of the genre, but there are better records vying for your ears. File next to Groovie Ghoulies.

ME AGAINST IT ALL - demo tape

These new young upstarts are bustin' straight outta tha' mean streets of Compton (er, Compton, Guildford, that is) to knock out pop-punkage with occasional ska touches in an MxPx/Green Day/Less Than Jake sort of way, along with Blink 182-ish lyrics about wanking and bearded ladies. The vocals are strong, they can play well and they sound tight. What lets them down is the songwriting. There's nothing new or that interesting about any of the songs either lyrically or musically. Hopefully MAIA will keep at it cos the more they write the better they get, and they clearly have buckets of potential, but they're not quite there yet. They're all young though, so in a year or two MAIA might be as good as this tape suggests they could be. Grr, why is it that everyone seems younger than me these days? I'm only 21 but everywhere I look there are younger and more 'successful' people than me: international footballers, pop stars, TV presenters… erm, I think I'd better end this review here, eh readers? (contact: Linda, Willowcroft, Withies Lane, Compton, Gulildford, Surrey GU1 3JA)

ME FIRST AND THE GIMME GIMMES - Are A Drag CD (Fat)

Ya ya ya, bunch of Fat-sters covering songs, this time ones from musicals, ya ya ya. What else is there to say? Some of the covers are good and fun, some are bad and boring. The fun outnumber the bad. Like the idea of punk covers of musical numbers? Enjoy! Think it sounds shit? Avoid! It really is that simple!

MILLENCOLIN - 'Penguins and Polarbears' CD single (Burning Heart)

Millencolin are one of those bands who fluctuate between being pretty damn good and pretty damn dull. The title track is taken from their new album and falls into the first category, showing a new level of maturity to the 'Colin while keeping the hooks and harmonies that they've always had. Of the two exclusive tracks 'Queen's Gambit' also shows a mature side to the band but, sadly, is duller than a weekend away in Grimsby with Fred "This Morning" Talbot and his weather map, while 'Dinner Dog' other picks up the pace and rocks in a classic Millencolin kinda way. Worth picking up if this sort of thing strokes you up the right way.

THE MOPES - Accident Waiting To Happen CD (Lookout)

Do you miss the Riverdales? Wish Danny Vapid would unleash more of his Ramonesesque tuneage on the world? Well mope (do you see?) no more, for the Mopes will surely plug that hole! This is pretty different to the band’s debut EP - there are still one or two surfy numbers but the majority of the tracks here resemble “Squeaky Clean” which, in turn, resembles the Riverdales! Who, of course, sound like the Ramones. Jesus, I think I’ve rambled about this enough. Suffice to say that this is a damn good record and if you liked the Riverdales then this will certainly boil your bananas. I like inventing phrases!

THE MR T EXPERIENCE - Alcatraz CD (Lookout)

Throughout the years MTX have been getting poppier and poppier with each release, cumulating in this, an out-and-out pop record. The guitars are jangly, the pace is slow to medium, and the band are wearing their 60s pop influences on their sleeves. There's even a track where Dr Frank (sort of) raps! This album is probably going to alienate most of MTX's past fanbase; the lyrics are as clever as ever but musically this bears very little relation to what has gone before. It's not a bad album, and I do like about three quarters of it, but hell, this is a band that used to be my favourite band in the whole wide world! Maybe they're sick of hammering out three-chord pop-punk, maybe Dr Frank is starting to sound his age, whatever, this is still disappointing. Listen before you buy - it has its moments but the MTX we knew and loved are no more.

NEW RISING SONS - s/t CDEP (grape0S)

Hey, it’s Garrett from TEXAS IS THE REASON on vocals! Anyone who’s heard that band (if you haven’t, you really should) will know what a great voice he has. So this has gotta be good, right? Wrong, it’s insipid Britpop-influenced indie-pop-rock, complete with trumpets. Eurgh. Well, actually, for what this is, it’s good, but what it is isn’t good at all, if you get my drift. A couple of the songs here are fairly catchy, and radio would’ve loved this a couple of years back. This is better than Shed Seven, but that’s not much of a recommendation, is it? Jack

NO FUN AT ALL - State of Flow CD (Burning Heart)

I've always seen No Fun At All as a poor man's Millencolin, which is probably unfair as my reasoning for this is probably that they share a label and are both from Sweden, and besides, they're more like a poor man' s Pennywise. OK, that's a tad unfair as I probably do prefer NFAA to Pennywise, but the similarity is there. Mid-to-fast paced melodic hardcore is the state of play (flow?) here, and while the tracks 'Celestial Q&A' and 'Joe Delord' are rather smart, the rest of the CD is a trip to Averageville, Sweden. No Fun At All? Occasionally-But-Rarely Fun At All, more like. Er, sorry.

NO WINGS, FINS OR FUSELAGE – Electris CD (Seriously Groovy)

Follow-up to their self-titled CD featuring yet more songs about outer-space weirdness, perhaps recorded by some ‘greys’ who abducted the Pixies, Fugazi, late-period Blur and Nirvana, synthesised their musical styles using some sort of crazy intravenous sapping machine then injected it into themselves. Or perhaps not, eh? Maybe we’ll never know The Truth… Not the kind of thing I’d play every day but I imagine it’ll get the odd spin now and again, and if you’re already into this band then you’re sure to enjoy it.

NOFX - ‘Louise and Liza’ 7” (Fat)

‘Louise’ is an average blast of NOFX’s melodic hardcore stuffage. ‘Liza’ is a dire slow track, probably the worst track from the mediocre ‘Heavy Petting Zoo’ album. One for NOFX completists only. Nice purple vinyl, mind.

THE OFFSPRING - 'The Kids Aren't Alright' promo CD single (Columbia)

This is that one that sounds like the 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' theme but isn't and it's not that bad, all told. The best track from the album anyway. Not bad.

THE OFFSPRING - 'She's Got Issues' promo CD single (Columbia)

This is standard Offspring rawk shit. Ooh, they blanked out the word "shit"! Can't have profanity in the hit parade, can we? To be fair this isn't too unpleasant, in a wouldn't-buy-it-but-wouldn't-turn-the-radio-over-if-it-came-on kind of way. Man, I'm being far too nice today…

PENNYWISE - Straight Ahead CD (Epitaph)

This CD has inspired me to write my very own PENNYWISEesque ditty all about it! See what you think!

Whoa-oh-oh!

Here’s another Pennywise CD!

Whoa-oh-oh

For the kids with wallet chains!

Whoa-oh-oh!

Don’t forget your baggy shorts

Whoa-oh-oh!

All of our songs sound the same!

OK, so it needs a little work. Anyway, this CD. Do you like Pennywise? Then here are more songs by them. None of them grabbed me like Pennywise sometimes do, and I invariably got bored by song number four or five. Not my thing.

PROMISE RING - Very Emergency CD (Jade Tree)

I must confess that this is my first encounter with the Ring (fnar fnar!), which may be an advantage as I have none of their earlier stuff to compare it to. Everyone's been spilling cum (and 'female ejaculate' [can 'ejaculate' be used as a noun? {get on with it! - A reader}]) over them for the past few years so I thought I should check 'em out. I got exactly what I expected - poppy "indie rock" that these days is more commonly referred to by that controversial e-word. Light, inoffensive pop is the order of the day here, and most enjoyable it is too. What a fool I've been for ignoring them for so long! A copy of their last album should be plopping down on my doormat soon, so then I will realise if this is the disappointment that long-time PR fans claim that it is, but until then I'm more than happy with this.

PROPAGANDHI - Where Quantity is Job #1 CD (G7 Welcoming Committee)

Odds 'n' sods collection from Canada's finest politically charged punksters comprising of rare tracks, live recordings and alternate takes of previously released songs. The quality of the tracks is variable - some are up there with the recordings on their albums, others should probably have stayed unreleased. One highlight is a track taken from a gig in Germany with a member of the audience attempting to sing 'Ska Sucks'… with hilarious consequences! No, really. Propagandhi's strongest point is that they combine highly (overly?) political lyrics with (relatively) melodic, accessible music. For fans this is a worthwhile stop-gap until the next album proper, but newcomers would be better off with the superb 'How to Clean Everything' album instead.

SHOWCASE SHOWDOWN - Permanent Stains CD (Damaged Goods)

Why, this takes me back to 1977… well, it would were it not for the fact that only 50% of my DNA existed then, and I didn't have the gift of hearing when I was just an ovum in my mother's ovary. Anyway. This is unadulterated meat and potatoes 'proper' punk rock, or "street punk" as I believe the popular vernacular labels such music. The vocalist sounds like a more coherent Johnny Rotten and the tunes have enough melody to keep a pop wuss like me happy while being aggressive enough to keep the spikes and studs guys smiling in their cider. Typically 'punk' subject matter is covered in the lyrics, such as ripping off the workplace, an anti-Murdoch rant (it really bugs me that he owns The Simpsons, a show which ruthlessly mocks everything he stands for) and the excellently titled 'I've Got a Date With Louise Woodward'. Stand out song has to be 'Tonight Tonight' just for the intro and the bizarre rant about fine wine magazines. If the Dropkick Murphys stopped pretending to be Irish and found a sense of humour they'd probably sound like this. Smart.

SKIMMER - 'Tuftyclub' 7" (Crackle)

I figured it was time for someone else to review Skimmer 'round here as Paul was kinda hogging 'em.  I have to say it took a while for their pop-as-hell sound to agree with me, but this is definitely the best they've done so far; 'Tired of Being Ugly' is quite possibly the best Skimmer song I've ever heard, but 'The Only Thing I Like About You Is Your Girlfriend' is great in song and in title! Great 'Simpsons' reference too. So if Skimmer float your boat, or if you were kinda 'I dunno…' about this band then get hold of this coz it won't disappoint. Jack

SLUDGEFEAST – ‘Baby You Fuck Me Up’ CD single (Seriously Groovy)

Sludgefeast. Not exactly a name that filled me with confidence about the contents of the CD. A band called Sludgefeast would surely be playing noisy, slow, distorted guitars with painfully growlly and distorted, incomprehensible ‘vocals’ which sound like the sound of a man dying played back 20 times slower than it originally sounded? Or something? Fortunately not. Sludgefeast actually play garagey rock’n’roll with distorted vocals (I was right about that bit!). I bet they listen to the Stooges a lot. The first track is good, the second average, the third a horrible instrumental complete with horrible harmonica, and the last track makes the terrible mistake of trying to get “funky”, always a no-no in my opinion. So, I wasn’t overly impressed then – if they’d managed to produce four tracks in the vein of the title track this coulda been a hit, but alas it just wasn’t to be.

STARMARKET - Sunday’s Worst Enemy CD (Popkid)

What is it about Sweden, eh? The number of great bands from Sweden keeps on growing cos Starmarket are just fantastic. This is an old-is album from '96 but it's just been rereleased on Popkid, and am I glad that happened. Musically they’re coming at you from the same direction as Gameface and Samiam and I can honestly say this is just as good as those bands; whether it's on an uptempo track like 'Unsaid' or the more brooding 'Safe Bayou', there's just this air of quality. The guitar sound remains crunching throughout so even when it slows down it loses none of the power, and some of the little riffs here are just supreme in their melody. Look, this is amazing. Get it now and find out just how amazing. Jack

SUNFACTOR - 'Re: Regarding' CDEP (Year 3000)

A new five-track release from this band, and a big improvement on their earlier stuff. And that was great. So you know what that means? Yeah, this is superb. The music is in the bracket of emo/indie rock, but it doesn’t sound the same at all. From the crunching opening  riff of 'Midnight' via the poppy jangles of 'Sal Paradise' (who's the Kerouac fan, guys?) to the upbeat rush of 'Little Rockets Everywhere', this is consistently good and is boosted by a crisp production, too. The vocals are excellent also, really clear and easy on the ear, and the lyrics range from generic love-slush (Midnight) to excellent inspiring stuff (Small Town). Let the indie rock takeover commence!

VISION – Watching the World Burn CD (Epitaph)

Hardcore stalwarts Vision make their Epi debut sounding not unlike labelmates H20, offering up slickly produced melodic hardcore with occasional group shouty bits. It’s all competently done, but none of the songs are particularly memorable, other than the opener ‘Close Minded’ which has an unintentionally hilarious cheesy speech in the middle of the sound (“You know what? This is the type of music that we grew up on, this is the type of music that we play…”). This is alright, but, like so many Epitaph releases of late, it completely washed over me and, like so many of Epitaph’s hardcore releases, it amused me and Jack with its cheesiness. If H20 are your favourite band then you’ll get something out of this, but otherwise there’s nothing to light your fire here. Not bad by any stretch of the imagination, but not particularly engaging either.

W.O.R.M. - Mullet in the Head advance tape (SID)

Chesterfield's finest (only?) exponents of pop-punk return with this excellently-titled second album, packed to the brim with 21 (count 'em!) tracks. I must admit I was a little disappointed with W.O.R.M.'s debut album, but there's no such disappointment here, as this is fucking great! Perhaps this album leans more towards the Weasely side of pop-punk than the last one, and there's more experimentation with different 'instruments' (though I suspect that they were all done on a keyboard… apologies if I'm wrong!) such as on 'Another Love Song' and 'Yank Yer Plank', two of the best tracks on the album. Actually, the keyboardy bits on 'Yank…' make it sound sort of like Helen Love doing ska-punk - I suspect W.O.R.M. won't appreciate that comparison but it was meant as a compliment, honest! There's also a Stinking Polecats cover - how obscure?! Although there are a lot of songs here they all zoom by, not a bad one among them. It's a nice surprise to see just how great this is. Highly recommended.

ZEN GUERRILLA - Trance States in Tongues CD (Epitaph/Sub Pop)

At first glance I thought this was a CD by 'Ben Gorilla' who I assumed to be some sort of simian songwriter playing crazy ape music (no you didn't. Your reviews are getting even worse. You've invented this non-existent 'Ed' character which makes no sense as you are the editor. This is a very weak attempt at "ironic" "post-modernism" when it should be a record review. If I were real and this were a real job, you really would be fired. Ed.), but alas it is just crap bluesy r'n'r with crap vocals that are reminiscent of someone singing in the Vic Reeves 'club style' with a some socks in their mouth. I can see why some people would like this, but I can also see while people would find it boring and repetitive - I know I did!

VARIOUS – Boss Samplerage! CD (Boss Tuneage)

Long-running poppy label finally release a sampler, boasting 26 tracks for just £2! Two pounds! I bet Aston is a huge Descendents/All fan, as their influence can be heard on more than a couple of the bands on here. Stand-out tracks? Jettison (like a jangly indie band crossed with Descendents/All), The Unknown (Descendents/All-type stuff), Annalise, Eesch (guitar pop), Porcelain Boys (Descendents/All-type stuff), Five Foot Nothing (the most Descendents/All-esque band on the whole damn CD, but great with it), Pocket Genius (who, for some reason, remind me of the kind of stuff put out by One Foot… mid-paced emotional pop-punk, the highlight of the CD for me), Wat Tyler (the excellent ‘The Vicar And I’) and Scarper. Great wussy pop sampler at a teeny weeny price, and the Boss Tuneage mailorder list is packed full of stuff I really wanna buy as soon as I have some spare clams.

VARIOUS - Cheap Shots IV CD (Burning Heart)

Wow, this new sampler from Burning Heart is really hot! A-hahaha… that's three issues in a row I've opened a review with that line. Sad, isn't it? This is a veritable smorgasbord of punk, ska and hardcore goodness, featuring unreleased tuneage from Millencolin (average; their other track on here is better), No Fun At All (swell blast of melodic HC), the Hives (trashy rock'n'roll, baby!), The (International) Noise Conspiracy (featuring Dennis from Refused and sounding like the weird noisy crap that you hear at 'alternative' gigs at student unions and indie gigs all around the country), Liberator, (tolerable ska, as are Chickenpox), the Business (emo), Nine (melodic HC) and Randy (fucking great cross between the Jam and cheesy 80s pop with politicised lyrics… the best track on the CD by far!). Other previously released but notable tracks include the street punk stylings of Bombshell Rocks and Voice of a Generation, 'Stepson' from Samiam's recently rereleased 'Clumsy' album (get it if you don't own it already!) and the Products' sing-a-long punk. It's cheap, it's diverse, it's a scorcher.

VARIOUS – ‘Free CD’ CD (Fierce Panda/Mushroom/Infectious)

‘Free CD’ isn’t the title, but it is written on the CD so, in lieu of anything else to call it, that is the name it has ended up with. ‘Free CD’ contains a track apiece from Seafood (dull, repetitive indie bollocks), Wilt (like the Lemonheads-meet-REM, and actually quite listenable) and Turn (fucking boring ‘moody’ indie bollocks). Seafood and Turn are as boring as their names suggest, and Wilt aren’t my thing either but at least they know what a tune is. I think this was given away free at gigs or something so you probably can’t get it any more, but if you actually want a copy then send us an SAE and it’s yours.

VARIOUS - Go Kart Vs The Corporate Giant 2 CD (Go Kart)

Go Kart's roster has changed dramatically since their last foray into the world of the cheap sampler; the only remaining bands being the Lunachicks, Doc Hopper and the Candy Snatchers. Like their last sampler this diverse smattering of punk rock has something for everyone. Choicest cuts include Down By Law's 'Nothing Good on the Radio', Parasites' poptabulous 'Top Secret', Boris the Sprinkler's fun and fucked-up punkage, street punk from Anti-Flag and the Unseen, Doc Hopper, True Love (as wussy as their name suggests, so of course I love 'em!) and Plan A Project (Falling Sickness/Operation Ivy without the ska). Also includes two unreleased tracks from two Down By Law side projects; Sam's Pseudo Heroes and Dave Smalley's Sharpshooters, who sound just like fast DBL to these ears. Also features a Buzzcocks song which suggests they shouldn't have bothered reforming. One of the better samplers of the mass that are swamping the shelves at the mo', and at around 16p per track you really can't complain, can you? No.

VARIOUS - Greetings from the Welfare State CD (BYO)

Cheapo compilation of UK talent released in association with Artcore zine, boasting 20 of the UK's finest punk and HC combos. Perhaps the best of the bunch is Welly from Artcore's band Four Letter Word, with their ace melodic punkage, but also notable are the shoutalongcore of Goober Patrol and Road Rage, Red Flag 77's bassline-tastic 'How Low', the hardcore of Silencer 7 and Imbalance, the pop of Turtlehead, Airbomb and Joe Ninety, Erase Today's top 'Feels Like Rain', Leatherface, Snuff doing Gloria Gaynor (fnar!), punkskamania from Citizen Fish and the 'Tone and melodipunk from Grover and Southpaw. I've just realised that there are only four tracks that I do not consider to be notable, and three of those aren't bad (Consumed, the Stains and Panic), with only one that I downright dislike (Newtown Grunts). So, 16 fantastic tracks, three OK ones and one bad… do I need to tell you to buy this? Thought not.

VARIOUS – Killed By Crackle CD (Crackle)

At long last everyone’s (well, my) favourite UK label get in on the sampler act, bringing twenty nine tracks mostly culled from their wonderful back catalogue, but with a few newies chucked in for extra value por dinero (as they say in Spain), plus mucho informacion (as they say in Spain. Again.) about the label and the bands. Favourites in la casa de Sheep (as they say in Spain. Again. Again. [that’s enough Spanish - Ed.]) are Skimmer (whod’ve thought?!), Servo, Torino 74, Grover, Sicko, Broccoli (sounding a lot like Leatherface here!), Soon, Ripping Teeth (I bet their favourite album is ‘My Brain Hurts’), Chopper, One Car Pile-Up (where’s the album?), Dillinger 4, Dagobah, Navel, J Church (can’t release a punk compilation without ‘em!), Ohno Express and Donfisher. Er, that’s most of the bands then. None of the tracks are bad though (although Southport and Lovejunk were both disappointing – I’ve heard better from both of ‘em) and at less than four quid you really can’t complain, unless you’re not at all into the poppier side of punk in which case there’s very little here to get excited about. However, for me this is the best comp CD I’ve heard in a very long time.

VARIOUS - Life In The Fat Lane CD (Fat)

Latest cheapo sample-me-do from Fat. You know the deal with these things now, they're really cheap and always have enough decent tracks to warrant a purchase. Supplying the goods this time around are Lagwagon, NUFAN, Consumed (with the excellently-titled 'Twat Called Maurice), Swingin' Utters with folky Irishness, Frenzal Rhomb, a newie from Avail, an oldie from Snuff, the Goobers, NOFX and Me First and the Gimme Gimmes blend Julie Andrews with Bad Religion's 'Generator' to wrap things up. In conclusion… oh, fuck it, what's the point? Everyone will have this already so no-one's gonna bother to read this review. I might as well have written a paragraph about some super-powered gazelles who kidnap baby squirrels while they sleep then send their families ransom notes written in Tipp-Ex on the backs of fag packets demanding a set of steak knives as the ransom fee. Or something.

VARIOUS - P101 V6 CD (P101)

Another issue of P101 means another compilation CD, and as usual there are some great bands on here, namely Bombshell Rocks (Rancid with a rocked rammed up their collective arse), Marilyn's Vitamins (tuneful punk), One Man Army, Grade (like Avail would sound if they were on Fat… er…), Four Letter Word, Armchair Martian, Get Up Kids, Leatherface and Gameface. There's also a bunch of tracks that fall into the ok-but-nowt-special category, as well as a few tracks of the scary-hardcore-that-makes-me-scream-for-my-mummy persuasion. Neat comp, well worth the cash.

VARIOUS – Playing 4 Square CD (Suburban Home/Negative Progression/My/Drive Thru)

Yet another sampler, but! this is a sampler with a difference, focusing on four – count ‘em – four labels rather than the usual one. Suburban Home kick off the proceedings with nine fairly unexceptional tracks; Gamits are kinda good in a punkier Green Day kinda way, Nobodys provide one of their better tracks of snot-punk, Homeless Wonder do good ska-punk but nowt else is really memorable. Onto Negative Progression, who offer six tracks but only four bands, all playing in a kinda Fat Wreck sort of way. Stand-outs are Gob (who do a great cover of ‘Mr. Sandman’ with a pretty funny surprise at the end) and Over It (who are really quite good, especially the second track they offer). Next is Joey Cape’s My label, offering a couple of dire ‘power-pop’ bands (Adventures of Jet and Popsicko), a Lagwagon track that sounds like Lagwagon, a decent Nerf Herder track, a smart Ataris track, an Armchair Martian track that is half excellent All-style punkage and half piss-poor country bollocks, and a boring Me First and the Gimme Gimmes cover (‘Rich Girl’, if you care). Finally is Drive Thru, who are supposedly connected to MCA or something but I can’t see anything about that here, and they offer a couple of decent poppy punk bands, most notably A New Found Glory and Caught Inside. Allister’s tracks are alright in a good Blink 182 sort of way, but they sound more like demo tracks than properly recorded songs. They should probably practice more if they want to be the next Blink, which I suspect is the case. Finally, a word about Rx Bandits: they are possibly the worst ska-punk band ever. Quite why they are allowed to inflict their putrid ‘songs’ upon the record-buying public is a mystery to me. The music is bland, formulaic ska-punk and the ‘singer’ should have his mouth sown up so that he can never, EVER attempt to sing again. This may sound harsh but they really are dire. Anyway, this is a bit of a mixed bag all in all. If poppy punk and Fat is where your interest lies then it’s worth picking up, though it’s nothing special at all.

VARIOUS – Rats In The Hallway #14 CD (RITH)

Compilation CD that comes with issue fourteen of Rats In The Hallway, hence the odd title.

VARIOUS - Records for the Working Class 2 (Deep Elm)

Second cheapo sampler from this post-punk/emo label, and it's a goodie. This kicks off with a great uptempo rocker from Seven Storey Mountain, who I could definitely do with hearing more by on the strength of that track. Other bands on here that'll rock your world are Planes Mistaken For Stars (not nearly as wussy as their name implies), Starmarket (of course!), Brandston, Pop Unknown and Cross My Heart. The only turkeys are Muckafurgason, whose Flamenco nonsense is completely out of place and is total dog-do. If you're unsure whether to bother with this 'emo' nonsense then here's a cheap introduction to the genre. Check it out. Jack

VARIOUS - Short Music For Short People CD (Fat)

Everyone should own this! 101 bands playing really short songs, most of them new, some old classics. Highlights include Fizzy Bangers (no, me neither), who start things off with a, uh, fizzy bang, Nerf Herder's masturbatory fun, the Ataris rant about the shitness of radio, AFI provide the 'whoa-oh's, Dillinger 4 just plain rock, Enemy You perfect the Bad Religion/Screeching Weasel fusion, Green Day and Avail go acoustic, Consumed sing about work, MTX let out all the swear words that they've been refraining from using on the past few records, Gwar (yes, Gwar!) get fish fucked, baby, Dogpiss wanna be Erik Sandin's stand-in (though I don’t remember NOFX using banjos!), Bracket continue the 'Warren's Song' series, the Descendents still like food, the Criminals do their East Bay snot punk par excellence, Groovie Ghoulies are doing fine (so leave them alone), Pulley, Pennywise and Ten Foot Pole provide examples of good Epifat stuff, Diesel Boy are damn good, H20 do hardcore with humour, Useless ID are possibly the best band in the whole of Israel and Wizo provide the final countdown (no, not the Europe 'classic'). I've missed out loads of good stuff, and there is also some shit, reaching a nadir with the Damned's keyboardy wank, though the good way outnumbers the bad, even though a couple of songs sound more like intros than fully fleshed out songs. The way the tracks is ordered is pretty neat too... all the '…All" bands together, all the '…Flag' bands together etc., it comes with a thick booklet and you're sure to discover a good few bands that you've never heard before, so buy it now and stop being such a damn loser.