Our team decided the Alfa Fun Factory was worth buying even if just for that tasty name! However, they also claimed it would sit peacefully in your abode until required, at which point it would "spring into life" and produce freshly boiled water. What a splendid prospect! Gerald particularly liked the stout handle which he likened to "one of those chunky poles", however Maureen was not impressed by the water level indicator; she felt it "lacked a certain...oomph."

Overall score: *** "a lovely treat for a granny or a man"

Green Goddess was felt to be an appropriate name for this piece of junk. Our team described it variously as "a mallard", "a ghost" and "an image"; all of which were very wide of the mark. Pouring capability was "adequate", whereas styling was felt to be "heavy handed" and "overboard". Filling was a complex procedure involving more than one action. Maureen liked "the inside", whereas Thomas plumped for the "handle - fun sized and furious".

Overall score: * "a horrible item for frightening the weak stomached"

White Bessy was a big favourite of our team, especially Gerald who cited it as "a white kettle in a sea of green and off-white appliances", an apt description at the worst of times. It's main attraction was the free gift with each kettle; a Rutland passport for the 1997-2007 period, featuring a photo of Elvis. Maureen reckoned she wouldn't get through customs with it, although Gerald implied he might chance his arm. White Bessy features a lovely pouring nozzle for improved precision, plus a "soft water hardener" for those that like their hot drinks "rife". It's sleek design was enjoyed by all. The only down-side was our salesman, who told us "not to tell anyone where we got it from". What a poor sales pitch indeed!

Overall score: **** "fabulous styling for the Internet generation"

The Sixties Wonder brought back horrific memories for Thomas; "I used to be able to do a sixties dance you know...called the wobble, I think. It was difficult." All our panellists agreed this kettle was top-totty, so to speak. "Crass design" complemented a "full-on power pouring spout". This kettle was "fun, colourful, lovely and not a bit brown!" It's a "must-buy" for all new home-owners in the Penge area!