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Team Moffat UK


Are you at a party?  Is it a bag of nails?  Wanna do something about it?


Maybe You Can Hire....


TEAM MOFFAT (UK)!!
(for all your alcohol related needs)

(Bruce L Sprouts (8) - on duty with TEAM MOFFAT during the 1999 Magaluf Tour)


MOFFAT LINKS





Who are TEAM MOFFAT?

TEAM MOFFAT are an experienced crack commando unit who specialise in alcohol.  Realising that "ordinary" people are quite boring and that the antics of TEAM MOFFAT often bring about unusual and entertaining situations and escapades they decided that they would offer their "skills" for hire whilst still participating in drinking events across the world (but mainly in areas across the West Midlands).  Each memeber has their own personal skills and strengths that they bring to a night out and as a group thay usually end up devasting any joint they get boozed up in.

TEAM MOFFAT are also skilled in the art of Prank Warfare.  Although their pranks are not quite on the scale of those of the Scopes yet they tend to specialise in stingers (small childish pranks that infuriate the victim).


Here is the current TEAM MOFFAT 2002 ROSTER (note only those people who have registered themselves as a member of TEAM MOFFAT this season have been included).

1.) LOUSE (aka Matthew Handley) SACKED EX-CAPTAIN
2.) PEADO (aka Nathan Mosley)
3.) SKELDON (aka Neil Shelley)
4.) CRACK (aka Jack Wilkinson)
5.) DOGS/BOGS (aka Mark Handley) CAPTAIN
6.) MACK (aka Craig Mack) (lads I reckon his TM nickname should be SPACK for obvious ryhming reasons)
7.) BOOBS/TUBES (aka Richard "Cobra" Black)
8.) SPROUTS (aka Alex Guinan)
9.) BEEFCHILD (aka Simon "Beef" Davies)
10.) MILLS SPILLS PILLS (aka Jamie Nelson)  STAR PLAYER
11.) PAT NEVIN (aka Kevin Halpin)
12.) SLEV (aka Christopher Slevin)

A big shout out to GORMAN, COCKNEY, & SGT GASH (MAYS) who for various reason have not signed their contracts as yet.  We're sure that GORMAN will be signed up soon (as soon as we can get him fake ID), COCKNEY will be signed up if he's around this Summer and SGT GASH will be signed up on his return from Australia.



UPCOMING NATIONAL/INTERNATIONAL TOUR DATES - (major fixtures)

TBC - NEWQUAY 2002
TBC - IBIZA 2002 3 DAY EXTRAVAGANZA!!


COMPLETED NATIONAL/INTERNATIONAL TOUR DATES - (major fixtures)

MOFFATOTHON IBIZA 2001 - TEAM MOFFAT take full 3 away points with aplomb.
NEWQUAY 2001 - 4 Man Squad do team mates proud.  Breasts, drunk driving, Louse's mental relatives ensure easy win.
TEAM MOFFAT SPIROS CHALLENGE FALIRAKI 2000 - New records are set by a strong line-up.  Higlights include mooning to a crowded swanky Italian restaurant & near death alcohol poisoning for most.
ASSAULT AT THE STREETLY SCHOOL 6th FORM PROM - in the sophisticated setting of a luxurty hotel TM play drinking games, indulge in a food fight whilst other people engage in polite conversation, dance like twats on almost empty dance floor, leer at fit girls in expensive dresses, get chauffered around in a proper Scope Bus, throw glasses around, end up in B'ham where they fight and argue about strip clubs.  Classic.
GATECRASHER - (don't know the date boys soz).  TM take a trip to Sheffield and put locals to shame.
MAGALUF 1999 - Standards are set for future MOFFATEERS.  Run-ins with prostitutes, sleeping in cupboards etc, set the tone for a career in proffesional partying.


REGULAR HAUNTS - TM members can often be found at these places

Imperial (Walsall)
Milligans (Walsall)
Varsity (Walsall)
Stein Bar (Walsall)
Rosie's (Sutton Coldfield)
The Academy (Birmingham) (Best place ever if you like good music).
Flashback (Birmingham)

(if I've missed any other fixtures could other TM members get in touch quickly so they can be ammended).



FOR REGIONAL FIXTURES CHECK THE TEAM MOFFAT FIXTURE LIST AT THE SCOPE LEGEND FORUMS.  (Updated on an almost daily basis).  CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE FORUMS!!


TO REQUEST TEAM MOFFAT's SERVICES LEAVE A FIXTURE SUGGESTION ON THE FORUMS.



THINK YOU CAN TAKE US ON?!  I THINK NOT!!  U AINT EVEN IN OUR LEAGUE TRUST ME.  We've stunk up every house party we've ever attended.  We vomit, we crap ourselves, we intrude on your parents shagging, we vomit on other people we don't know, we pull birds both rank and fit, we bleed on people in Pizza restraunts, we kung fu kick through glass advertising boards, we steal paintings out of houses (and return them afterwards of course), we've trashed a whole streets worth of gardens, we've stripped off naked and ran through a dance floor and we've done a whole load of other stuff I can't remember at the moment.

Why don't you give us an invite?  WE WILL CONSIDER EVERY APPLICATION!!  WE GUARANTEE TO LIVEN UP ANY PARTY NIGHT OUT.  LET US MAKE FOOLS OF OURSELVES SO THAT YOU CAN LAUGH AT US!!  WE HAVE NO DIGNITY!!!



MOFFAT LINKS