Dos and Don'ts

DO

Get your lighting levels right
Really the dimmer the better as lots more interesting gossip can surface! Coloured lightbulbs are cheap, and fairy lights give the same effect as candles but without all the melted wax and people trying to set light to beer labels later in the evening.

Provide soft drinks
Please cater for the non-drinkers and drivers among your guests. Also, most people will bring alcohol but forget about the mixers so it's always best to provide a few bottles of lemonade, coke etc.

Clear as many surfaces as possible
Chopping boards covered in silver foil make good covers to put over cooker hobs.

Add some extra alcohol
Pop in an extra bottle or three of vodka or some spirit to keep the party going. Alternatively provide vodka jelly or something like frozen daiquiri. People can't resist free alcohol!

act as a social mixer
Give the party some time, but if after 2 hours people are still sat in the groups they came in with, steps must be taken. This is where it pays to remember that being drunk can cover a multitude of sins. Drag people up to each other and say "You guys must get to know eack other - I demand it as host!", start them talking about something you know they're both interested in, and then leg it. At least they'll have a common topic of how rude you are!

Put up signs
for the toilet and if your house is No Smoking, make sure everyone knows it! For the sake of the nicotine addicts, try to supply a garden (or room in a flat) for them to puff in.

know where the bucket is
If the worse does happen, as host you will probably be in a nicely inebriated state yourself. If you try to find the cleaning stuff in this state, the accident is going to be alot harder to clear up!

provide the numbers of taxi firms by the phone
Some people may not be from the area, and those that are will be in no fit state to remember any numbers, so it's best to give out some numbers.

have music going everywhere!
Press into service any cassette player you have in the house as music stops the awkward silences at the beginning of the party and also adds to the atmosphere. I accept no responsibility for suggesting the Full Monty soundtrack as an ideal album!

DON'TS

provide food
This is a contentious issue, but in my experience food is expensive, messy (have you ever looked under a sofa cushion after canapes have been served?) and it takes alot longer for the alcohol to soak through!

put all the alcohol in one place
for some reason the kitchen is the most popular spot for people to dump their drink. Being Near Their Drink will be a top priority for most during the evening, and they will not migrate far from it. Therefore put some soft drinks and cups on a table in another room to encourage dispersal.

expect a reply to RSVPs
You can send out as many invitations as you like (one e-mail two weeks before and then one on the Thursday before usually works best). For something like a housewarming, the actual number will never be the same as those who said they're coming. We've had from 20 to over 50! Buy as many plastic cups as possible and if you can't pop out for extra supplies mid way through the evening, keep back a second supply. You can always use it for the next party!

put on a video/TV
The obvious exception to this rule is Eurovision. It's tempting for such a theme as X-Files or James Bond, but it's just a lazy way to introduce a theme. People will sit and watch the video and not talk to each other. When it ends, someone will switch to a channel and the silence will continue. Better to not draw attention to the TV, and force people to interact instead!

buy an expensive wig/mask
as you are bound to lose it. Wigs can get surprisingly hot (you are after after all wearing the equivalent of a hat indoors) and you will want to dump it at some point. Or a fellow reveller will be desperate to try it on and go prancing round saying "do you think it suits me?" Men in particular are very keen to do this - The ol' Peacock Syndrome strikes again!

hire an outfit
unless you really are short of time. It makes your guests feel that either they haven't made enough of an effort or that you've made too much of one. Home-made is so much more original and at least you can compare FBI badges or something!

be discouraged if no one turns up on time
Most of our house parties only get going after the pubs empty! (11pm in the UK) Just relax, have a laugh with those that are there and it will all go smoothly - trust me.