The Nitro Recap was written by John Petrie, and is availible on Slobberknocker Central. Full credit to John Petrie for this Nitro recap.

WCW Monday Nitro:
Live/Taped: Live.
Length: Three Hours.
Location: Phoenix, Arizona.

HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko.

- Bret Hart/Sting still photos open the show. Was this *really* the biggest thing to come out of the PPV: so big that it warrants opening Nitro?

- Nitro Girls.

- Schiavone hypes that they are "live ... LIVE, I might add!" Schiavone then addresses the PPV situation: he says that there was an "incident" that was out of their hands, and that "10 to 20 percent" of the systems went down before the show was over. He tells us that WCW officials held meetings all day to decide what to do. He suggests that they could maybe let everyone see it for free, but that WCW's not going to do that. (Hey Tony, who said EVERYONE should see it for free? How about those who just ordered it and had it cut off? Hmm?) Schiavone says it wouldn't be fair for those who did buy it and saw all of it. He says then that their only other option is to show the Goldberg/DDP match tonight on Nitro just as RAW is starting. Sure is easy to duck a problem when you claim that there's only two "solutions" to any problem--both of which only go towards your own benefit and not actually solving the problem. Tony says this is something they "never do", and is a "one time only" deal. Yeah ... and I guess that wasn't the main event for "Bash at the Beach" I saw on Nitro a few months back? And why all this fuss if it only affected 10% or 20% of the buyers out there? Let's say the PPV had 300,000 buys: that means all this fuss is over somewhere between 30,000 and 60,000 households! Does it make sense to show this PPV match to more than three MILLION cable TV households just to satisfy 60,000 PPV buyers? Either WCW is really lowballing us on their estimate, or showing this match is clearly a ratings ploy. Or both. Schiavone then goes off on a weird tangent as says something about the "competition all day making people believe that this was a ratings ploy", claiming that the PPV went off the air on purpose. Excuse me, but did anyone--especially the WWF--actually say this?! The whole day went by and I didn't see the WWF make this claim, nor anyone else claim that the WWF made this claim. Am I missing something? I've seen some fans make this speculation--well after the fact--but since when are they considered the "competition"? No, the ratings ploy, Tony, is showing this just of the opposition's show is about to start. Actually the notion that they would do this is pretty absurd to begin with. Suppose for a moment that WCW did deliberately have the PPV feed cut off just to boost Nitro's ratings. This would make sense if several million people bought the PPV. But the odds are it was closer to 300,000 or so (which is roughly a 1.0 buyrate). If we accept WCW at their word, and only count the 10% that didn't see the last match, that means WCW would have been doing all this just to "force" a group of fans to watch: a group which totaled less than a tenth of one ratings point. Even if no body managed to see the last match we'd still be looking at a group of people who would represent less than half a ratings point. Of course one could counter that by WCW doing it, it gave them the perfect excuse to then show DDP/Goldberg on TV, thus popping the big rating. A interesting notion, but one which would have been a huge tactical risk by WCW. And let's be honest here: is anyone in WCW really smart enough to come up with a scheme as diabolical as this? (Don't answer that.) I wouldn't even be speculating on all this had Schiavone not brought it up himself on the show. So anyway, anyone who paid $30 to see this match on PPV now gets it for free. What about Hogan vs. Warrior, you ask? That match, it seems, is too "graphic" to show on TV, so they won't be airing it. That, and the fact that it's the REAL money match, and WCW still wants you to buy the replay to see it.

- STEVIE RAY vs. KENNY KAOS Stevie dominates most of the match, but Kaos gets in like one move and is suddenly a threat to get the win. Out comes the once again evil Buff Bagwell to distract the ref and toss Stevie his slapjack. Stevie clobbers Kenny and covers for the pin. Buff and Stevie then set up a good round of stomping on the unconscious Kaos, but out comes Rick Steiner for the save. Rick helps Kaos up and offers to make him his World Tag Team Title partner. Kaos delivers a clumsy interview in which he accepts the offer. This here was proof positive why jobbers never get interviews (or shouldn't, anyway). Fans of the WCW Tag Team Division are seen picking out suitably somber black clothing to wear to the funeral. R.I.P. 1991-1998. "The suffering is finally over."

- Opening sequence. - This is where Schiavone explains why they won't be showing the Hogan/Warrior match. This is where I give him the middle finger.

- KANYON (w/ Raven) vs. PRINCE IAUKEA Kanyon was cool (sort of) as Mortis. Without the mask he just looks like a redneck nobody who does a few interesting moves. None tonight, though, as he takes several minutes to put away the Prince. (His one "innovative" move this week is a failed Piledriver attempt on the steps which in real life would have never worked, giving away the fact that Iaukea would reverse it.) Kanyon with the Flatliner. Before the match he does his "who's better than Kanyon? EVERYONE!" bit. Raven's presence goes almost unnoticed and unmentioned by the announcers.

- Nitro Girls. I feel like I'm watching a PPV here all of a sudden.

- "Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Ric Flair and the Four Horsemen. This was supposed to be on the PPV but got bumped. The only thing of note that is said--and really, what does Flair ever say other than "whoo!" and "Meeeaaaaan Gene!"?--is Flair pointing out that Steve "Mongo" McMichael is absent ("missing in action"). No explanation is given. Eric Bischoff then comes out, says he's big enough man to admit when he's wrong, and that underestimated how much Flair means a lot to the fans. He says tonight Flair will wrestle on TV tonight. (You'll notice that Bischoff doesn't actually admit that he's wrong, just that he "a big enough man" to admit when he is.) No opponent is mention, which is suspicious enough to get one to guessing as to what will eventually go down.

- Nitro Party Video, followed by PPV photos (Hall vs. Nash).

- ALEX WRIGHT vs. BARRY HOROWITZ Wright with the reverse neckbreaker.

- Havoc photos detailing what went down between Hogan and the Warrior.

- SICK BOY vs. WRATH Wrath with the Meltdown.

HOUR TWO
Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Zbyszko.

- GOLDBERG vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE The PPV main event. In my brief comments on the website regarding the PPV I gave this match an estimated "three stars". Having now seen it in full-blown video, as opposed to Internet commentary and jerky slideshow stills, I'm thinking of downgrading that rating to "two and a half stars". It's an awesome showing by Goldberg, but that's only based on past Goldberg performances. DDP is his usual self, but should get credit for carrying this match and making Goldberg look good. Early in the match Goldberg does a standing backflip, which was impressive, but had absolutely nothing to do with the action in the match. He literally stopped wrestling and did the flip, aimed at drawing a pop from the crowd (which worked). He then did that leg takeover that "Hollywood" Hogan dusts off and uses in his "big" matches. The next few minutes are filled with stalling, as the two frown at each other a lot. Goldberg knocks DDP to the floor twice. Page then comes back with a series of moves such as the reverse neckbreaker and Russian legsweep. Goldberg sells them by shaking his head and moving slower. A headlock by DDP lasts almost a minute, with Goldberg escaping by planting some knees in DDP's gut, then throwing him off. Page, who has really only taken a few shots up to this point, is panting like he just ran a marathon while being strafed by low-flying aircraft. He sells every punch like it was a sledgehammer. Goldberg does the Sidewalk Slam, but Schiavone is too busy gushing about DDP's "heart" to call it. He then does the Hogan leg scissors-armbar again, this time holding it for a minute to give both men a breather. DDP escapes by reaching the ropes. DDP the does a flying headscissors, but Goldberg no-sells it by getting right back up. He catches DDP with a side kick, which DDP sells like he's been shot out of a cannon, flying into the corner. Goldberg charges, but DDP unveils his "secret weapon"--his discovered "weakness"--and jumps out of the way. (Nice to see one of my PPV predictions came true.) Goldberg misses Page and hits the ringpost with his shoulder. DDP goes on the offense briefly (with Goldberg doing an adequate job of selling the shoulder injury), but the champ comes back with the spear--which further injures the shoulder. He tries to go for his Jackhammer finisher, but can't get him up. DDP gets free and turns it into a Diamond Cutter. He's too tired to make the timely cover, though, and Goldberg kicks out. That's pretty much it, then, as moments later Goldberg tries the Jackhammer again, gets him up, and put him away for the pin. From a pure wrestling standpoint this was maybe a one or two star match (and you all know how I hate rating these things). No, what this match did have going for it was the story it told. The "psychology", if you will. Goldberg put together his best string of offense yet, though even there few of the moves logically flowed to the next until the end. DDP got winded and "hurt" way too early. The last three or four minutes, however, were what really sold the match, and made it what it all that it was. Extra points for the clean, sans-NWO-run-in finish. I think I'll let the "three stars" stand. This was easily WCW's best PPV main event match this year. I don't know if that means much, but there it is.

- "Mean" Gene corners Kevin Nash in the back for an interview. Nash is hanging around in a back room filled with couches and what almost immediately looks like a fake wall. Okerlund starts to ask about the match at the PPV when Scott Hall wanders in. Hall says he "hit the wall" last night and that Nash beat some sense in to him. The two look like they are about to hug and make up. Before any tears can start to flow, however, in comes the Giant with a sneak attack. He and Hall pound on Nash, eventually throwing him through that very obvious wall (which is about a half inch thick). As obvious as this all was I liked it, until I realized that Nash has come up with YET ANOTHER way to get out of a match on TV. Lazy bastard.

- Special Nitro Girls video, for your masturbating pleasure, I guess. Then, just like last week, they follow this with an actual live Nitro Girls number. They've been working on their choreography, and have elevated from "awful" to "mediocre". Maybe they could do better if WCW gave them some decent music to dance to, instead of that lame track they've been using for the last two years.

- "Hollywood" Hogan comes out wearing a feathered boa (just like at the PPV). I guess the Hulkster figured he didn't look "gay" enough already. Anyway, Eric Bischoff, Horace "Hogan" and several other NWO members are in tow. Hogan delivers his usual lengthy, hot-air interview, the gist of which is that Horace is now in the NWO. Horace displays the hideous looking scar on top of his head that came from the chairshot Hogan laid in last week. I missed it then (small TV screen): Horace was busted wide open (or did a bad blade-job) and bled like a stuck pig all over the ring. The camera pulled way back as usual. Watching it on a nine inch TV screen last week I missed that. He's now sporting a more than two inch long scar on top of his bald head. For those who keep track of such things, Bischoff hid behind Hogan while holding the mic, so we couldn't see his lips move when Hogan spoke. (By the way, I don't need to point out how disgusting it is that Hogan's nephew is now getting a major push, do I?)

- SATURN vs. EDDIE GUERRERO A moderately interesting match, with Eddie clearly playing the heel. (Isn't that counter-productive to the whole LWO angle?) Guerrero gets in a lot of decent offense, but Saturn just kind of shrugs it all off and looks to have an easy win in hand. In comes the rest of the LWO to lay in the beat-down (though it literally takes eight men to get the job done). There's a new LWO member who even Mike Tenay can't identify. (I better not hear him unreeling an entire biography for this guy in a future match, like what school he went to, and how good his momma's cooking is down in Guadalajara.)

- "Mean" Gene interviews Judy Bagwell. With Buff a heel again this angle has ceased to be entertaining. She says she's tired of Buff ruining their family name and intends to do something about it. I assume that her "something" will be her coming out some night and grabbing Buff by the ear again: a moment of "humiliation" which will be forgotten five minutes after it happens. All this angle really does is attempt to make us forget that Buff has a bad neck and can't wrestle yet. I still say WCW botched a chance to bring Buff back as a babyface, which would have put him over every bit as big as Sting or DDP (Lex Luger and Konan at the very least). Instead he's now just comic relief, and it'll be months--maybe years--before we can add "and a good wrestler" back into his resume.

- THE GIANT/STEVIE RAY vs. RICK STEINER/KENNY KAOS Why is WCW obsessed with making half their tag team match competitors fight again on the card in singles matches? They did it at the PPV and again here. Just an ugly, ugly match. The first few minutes offers nothing but the NWO taking turns punching and kicking Kaos. Steiner then comes in and hits the Giant with a clothesline off the top. He covers for the pin and the ref counts 1 ... 2 ... then stops. A full heartbeat later the Giant finally kicks out. A few moves later and Steiner catches Stevie Ray with a Bulldog off the turnbuckles and covers for the pin.

HOUR THREE
Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.

- It's hour three, so that means ... ... a commercial.

- Eric Bischoff has replaced Mike Tenay. Bischoff says we're going to see Ric Flair wrestle now. No, not live, via videotape. He says Flair probably couldn't pass a physical. The others asks what's wrong with Flair. Bischoff says the video clip will prove his point. Flash back to "Bash at the Beach 1994": Flair is facing the then popular Hulk Hogan in the Hulk's first ever WCW match. Presented in Squish-O-Vision, they replay several minutes of the match in which Hogan beat Flair for the WCW World Title, and marked the beginning of the end for Flair's career (not to mention the end forever of realistic booking in WCW). Sherri Martel was in Flair's corner. Shaquille O'Neal was in Hogan's. Hogan wins with the Big Boot and the Legdrop of Doom. Bischoff says this once again proves that Flair will always be second fiddle to Hogan. (I thought Schiavone earlier said they'd never again show a PPV main event on TV?)

- JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. KIDMAN Let's see ... Disco Inferno beat Guerrera on the PPV ... Kidman then beat Disco ... I wonder who's going to in this one? The same match we've seen these two do for the last few months, which means it's great if you like them, boring if you don't. I'm somewhere in between myself. Kidman with the Seven Year Itch.

- Schiavone hypes two new videos WCW is releasing, devoted to Sting and Randy Savage. Bobby Heenan does his classic bit of pointing to something off camera then sticking one of the tapes under his coat. - Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell come out to make my night even worse than it already was. Endless minutes of mindless chatter go by, with Scott eventually saying he wants a rematch with his brother Rick. J.J. Dillon comes out to get the skinny. Scott then balks, instead accusing Dillon of liking Rick more than he, and also accusing him of sending the second referee out at the PPV to count the pinfall. Long story short (too late), Steiner and Bagwell beat Dillon up. Security makes the save.

- The Warrior (shit) comes out to cut an interview. He says all the fans know he beat the hell out of Hogan last night, despite the official outcome of the match. He calls the pinfall bullshit (which is bleeped by the censors). Out comes Hogan, Horace, the Giant, Bischoff, and maybe some others. Horace takes a run at the Warrior and gets knocked on his ass. The Giant goes in and winds up being clotheslined out of the ring. Hogan winds up in the ring and the Warrior ducks a few clotheslines and nails him with a flying shoulderblock. Mike Tenay claims this jump-started the OWN revolution. (I guess we're just supposed to forget the humiliating loss he suffered the night before.) The Warrior gets a decent crowd response, though before Hogan came out things were a bit shaky. Looks like the Warrior is going to hang around for a while.

- SCOTT STEINER/SCOTT HALL vs. LEX LUGER/KONAN They don't even try to make this look like a match. Everyone brawls in-and-out of the ring, up-and-down the aisle. Luger winds up getting Hall in the Torture Rack, but Steiner clips Luger from behind. All four men are going at it in the ring when they cut to a commercial.

- DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. BRET "HITMAN" HART Hart has new theme music which, if you listen to it long enough, becomes recognizable as being, shall we say ... "inspired", by his old WWF music. The announcers spend most of the early minutes of the match talking about almost solely about DDP, causing my brother to predict that DDP will win the title. I disagree with him. Slow in the early going, DDP once again sells himself as being totally wiped out just a few minutes into the match. Pretty annoying when Hart's only offense has been a few punches and armbars. Around this time they're just talking about Hart, which I offer to my brother as evidence that he's the one with the push--he'll win the match. Things just drag on, with Page spending several minutes down on the mat while Hart delivers offense. The referee is eventually bumped. Hart seizes the chance to pull an object out of his tights, and takes a swing at DDP, but DDP ducks and catches Hart with the Diamond Cutter. 1 ... 2 ... 3 and there's a new United States Champion. A finish so out-of-nowhere that the crowd pops loudly, then quickly trails off as they wait for the other shoe to drop. Hart, meanwhile, goes ballistic and attacks DDP (as well as the ref). He takes a steel chair to DDP's knee, than slaps on the Sharpshooter. (Hart's attack draws a louder reaction from the crowd that DDP's title win.) Goldberg runs out for the save, but the show fades out before he can hit the ring.

"Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1998 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "Internet Access, Inc". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week.Volume One, Number 154 of the "Monday Night Recap", October 26th, 1998.

John Petrie
[email protected]
Slobberknocker Central
http://www.bji.net/pages/petrie/index.html