Season 4

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The Freshman

Living Conditions

The Harsh Light of Day

(Part 1 of a Buffy / Angel crossover - Continued in Angel episode 'In the Dark')

01/12/2000

Willow: "... when you spend all week with a boy, you are allowed to look at him directly."

Willow (to Oz): "Buffy's looking at Parker.  Who, it turns out, has a reflection.  So, big plus there.  Buffy's having lusty wrong feelings.  ..."
Buffy: "Oh, I so am."

Devon: "That was, like, the best set ever.  We'll do great in L.A.  We're going to have them glued to their seats."
Willow: "Devon?  Aren't they supposed to dance?"
Oz: "Well, we can glue them to the dance floor.  --"
Devon: "I don't mean with real glue.  You got that, right?"
Oz: "I got that."

Willow: "... I haven't seen you since graduation."
Harmony Kendall: "Big snake, huh?"

Harmony: "You're always so funny, Willow.  You haven't changed a bit."
Willow: "No, you neither."
Harmony: "Oh, maybe a little."
[Harmony transforms into a vampire and attacks Willow]

[Xander placing books on shelves in Giles' dwelling]
Xander: "I'm not enjoying this."
Giles: "Well, shelve them correctly and we can finish."
Xander: "I don't get your crazy system."
Giles: "My system?  It's called the alphabet."

Anya: "I can't stop thinking about you.  Sometimes, in my dreams, you're all naked."
Xander: "...  You know, if I'm in the checkout lane at the Wal-Mart, I've had that same one."
Anya: "So, I can assume a standing Friday night date and a mutual recognition of Prom night as our dating anniversary?"

Buffy: "Harmony's a vampire?  She must be dying without a reflection."

Spike: "Nobody knows I'm here.  Now, I'm not killing the slayer's best friend, as that would tend to announce my presence...."

Harmony (threatening Buffy): "... as soon as we have the Gem of Amara."
[Closed Captioning during this Buffy episode spells this 'Amara'.  Closed Captioning during the crossover Angel episode spells it 'Amarra'.]

Giles: "... the Gem of Amara ...?  ...  ... it's not real.  It's like the vampire equivalent of the Holy Grail and a source of some enormous power which is conveniently vague.  ...  'There was a great deal of vampiric interest in locating the gem during ... 10th century.  Questing vampires combed the Earth, but no one found it.  It was concluded that it never existed.'"
Buffy: "Well, Spike seems to think it exists, and he's looking in Sunnydale."

Harmony: "Is Antonio Bandera a vampire?"
Spike: "No."
Harmony: "Can I make him a vampire?"
Spike: "No.  --  Wait, on second thought, yeah.  Go do that.  Take your time.  Do Melanie and the kids as well."
Harmony: "Hey, I don't have a pulse.  Cool!  Can we eat a doctor so I can get a stethoscope and hear my heart not beating?"
Spike: "Harm -- what does it take to get you to shut the hell up?"
Harmony (erotically teasing Spike): "And if my hearts not beating, then what are all these veins for?  I'm simply covered in these blue veins, see."

[Anya enters Xander's dwelling and drops her clothes to the floor while Xander's back is turned to get her a drink]
Anya: "Sexual intercourse.  ...  I think it's the secret to getting you out of my mind.  Putting you behind me.  Behind me, figuratively.  I'm thinking face-to-face for the event itself."
Xander: "...  It's just we hardly know each other.  I mean, I like you, and you have a certain -- directness that I admire.  But ... what you're talking about -- well -- and I'm actually turning into a woman as I say this -- but it's about expressing something.  And accepting consequences."
Anya: "Oh, I have condoms.  Some are black."
Xander: "That's -- that's very considerate."
Anya: "I like you.  You're funny, and you're nicely shaped, and frankly, it's ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not -- interlock.  Please remove your clothes now."
Xander: "And the amazing thing -- still more romantic than Faith."

Parker Abrams: "Think I could get a dance with the prettiest girl at the party?"
Buffy: "And what'll I do, just stand here and watch?"

Parker: "... I declared Pre-Med, but I hated it, so I switched to History."
Buffy: "History?  Fascinating dates and compelling places."
Parker: "But there's something amazing about these huge events that when you dig down into them, they're all about people.  Just regular people just trying to make choices.  When you  look back at it, it seems like people are swept up in the events they couldn't control.  But I don't believe that.  You always have a choice with everything you do."

Anya (after the event): "So, I'm over you now."
Xander: "... okay!"
Anya: "Okay?"
Xander: "Yeah?"

Spike: "Got to get back to work."
Harmony: "You love that tunnel more than me."
Spike: "I love syphilis more than you."

Buffy: "Giles.  ...  I didn't know you were here.  ...  I - I was, uh, studying.  --  At the library.  All -- Saturday -- night.  Uh, you know what?  I'm an adult and it's none of your business where I was."

Willow (to Buffy re: Buffy's night with Parker): "I love this part.  Don't you love this part?  When it's all new and everything's a discovery."

Spike: "We're close now.  No one leaves the lair till we're in.  I don't want the slayer tracking anyone to the tunnel.  And that means you Harm.  You're an indoor kitty now."
Harmony: "But, Spike, you said you'd take me places.  You said we'd go to France and now I can't even leave the lair.  --"
Spike: "Listen to me, you stupid bint, this gem is everything.  I came back to Sunnydale for it, a place that has witnessed some truly spectacular kickings of my ass.  Now, when I have the gem, they all die.  Don't worry.  But, until then, stay inside.  And by the way, I would be insanely happy if from this point on I heard bugger all about sodding France."
Harmony: "I don't know why I let you be so mean to me?"
Spike: "Love hurts, baby."

[Willow, Oz, Xander and Giles meeting at Giles']
Xander: "Whoa, Giles has a TV.  Everybody, Giles has a TV.  He's shallow like us."
Oz: "I got to admit, a little disappointed.  ..."
Willow: "Well, maybe it doesn't work.  It's -- it's like art."
[Xander turns on the TV]
Giles: "Uh -- Public television.  ... we have vital work to do.  Watching television is not going to help us right now.
[TV news report covering collapse of roadway near U.C. Sunnydale]

[Spike goes out in the sunlight after finding the gem, he finds Buffy and knocks her to the ground]
Spike: "What a fantastic day.  Birds singing, squirrels making a lot of rotten little squirrels, the sun beaming down in a nice non-fatal way.  It's very exciting.  I can't wait to see if I freckle.  --"
[Buffy and Spike fight and Buffy stakes Spike]
Spike: "Oh, do it again.  It tickles, you know, in a good way."
Buffy: "The gem."
Spike: "Oh, yeah.  The Gem of Amara.  --  Official sponsor of my killing you."

Harmony: "Being a vampire sucks."

Buffy (re: prior experience with Angel and current experience with Parker): "... does this always happen?  Sleep with a guy and he goes all evil?"

Buffy: "Parker said it's okay to make mistakes.  He's so sweet."
Willow: "No, it wasn't.  He was saying that so you would take a chance and sleep with him.  He's a poop-head."
Buffy: "You're right.  He's manipulative and shallow -- and why doesn't he want me?  Am I repulsive?  If there was something repulsive about me, you'd tell me, right?"
Willow: "I'm your friend.  I would call you repulsive in a second."
Buffy: "Maybe Parker and I could still work it out.  Do you think that we could still work it out?"
Willow: "I think you're missing something about the whole poop-head principle."

Fear, Itself

Bad Beer

Wild at Heart

The Initiative

Pangs

Something Blue

Hush

Doomed

A New Man

The I in Team

Goodbye, Iowa

This Year's Girl (Part I)

Who Are You (Part II)

Superstar

Where the Wild Things Are

New Moon Rising

The Yoko Factor

Primeval

09/20/2000

Riley Finn (to Adam): "I'm not your brother.  You're a botched science experiment."

Adam: "Demons cling to old ways and ancient feuds.  And they're hopeless with technology.  Unworthy.  ...  Disappointed by demon-kind, we turned to humans.  Smart, adaptive, but emotional and weak.  Blind.  There's imperfection everywhere.  Something must be done.  Who will deliver us?"  

Adam: "I didn't send for you, Spike."  
Spike: "Yeah, well, I'm not much the being-sent-for type.  I'm much more the 'I did my part, now get this chip out of my head' kind of guy."  

Spike (re: Riley): "What's with him?"  
Adam: "I activated his chip."  
Spike: "Oh, so it's chips all around, is it?  Someone must've bought the party-pack."  

Adam: "So you failed."  
Spike: "Well, hey, you're supposed to be so smart.  You let me plan this thing.  OK, let's not quibble about who failed who."  

Anya (to Xander): "You said you wanted to check the board at the unemployment office this morning.  You can't go like that.  They won't even interview you if you're naked."
Xander: "I'm not going.  There's never anything good.  Maybe I should join the army."
Anya: "Don't they make you get up really early in the morning?"  
Xander: "Oh, yeah.  Never mind."  
Anya: "Are you still upset about that fight you had with your friends?  It was hours ago.  Get over it.  ...  So they all think you're a lost, directionless loser with no plans for his future.  Pfft."  
Xander: "Anya, you can't 'pfft' that stuff away."  
Anya: "Why not?"  
Xander: "I don't know.  'Cause I think maybe they're right."  
Anya: "So what if they are?  You're a good person and a good boyfriend and - and I'm in love with you.  Whatever they think of you, it shouldn't matter."  

Willow: "Must be programmed to self-decrypt at a certain point.  That is so annoying.  It's like somebody blurting out the answer to a riddle just when you've -"  

Willow: "So why do you think Spike made with the head games?"  
Xander: "He's all dressed up with no one to bite.  He's gotta get his yayas somehow."  

Buffy: "Adam's gonna make sure the demons attack the Initiative from the inside."  
Xander: "Demons versus soldiers.  Massacre, massacre."  
Willow: "And Adam has a neat pile of body parts to start assembling his army.  Diabolical, yet gross."  
Xander: "Does anybody else miss the Mayor, I just wanna be a big snake?"  

Spike: "Now, if you'll just get this chip out of my cranium, I'll be out of your way.  And mind the hairline.  I don't fancy fussing with a comb-over once I resume my killing ways."  

Xander: "I'm full of that good old kamikaze spirit."  
Giles: "Xander, just because this is never gonna work is no need to be negative."  

Willow (using ropes to descend elevator shaft): "How you doing?"  
Buffy: "Super.  What was I thinking using stairs all this time?"
  

Spike (to Adam watching surveillance video screens): "It's must-see TV.  Bait's been taken.  Trap's all set.  Slayer has landed.  So, one chiperectomy, please.  Hello.  Paging Dr. Owe Me One."  

Buffy (to current commander of Initiative): "This is not your business.  It's mine.  You, the Initiative, the boys at the Pentagon -- you're all in way over your heads, messing with primeval forces you have absolutely no comprehension of.  ...  I'm the slayer.  You're playing on my turf."

Willow (checking base schematics on computer screen): "According to this, there's air ducts and electrical conduits all running into there."  
Buffy: "So?"  
Willow: "So there's no there there."  

Willow: "All the locks in the Initiative have been disengaged, except for the exits."  
Xander: "Demon open house."  

Buffy: "Is this place OK to be magic central?"  
Giles: "It should do."  
Willow: "As long as we don't get blowed up or nothin'."  

Adam (re: Riley): "He's part of the final phase now, as you were supposed to be."  
Buffy: "Sorry, I don't jump through hoops on command.  I've never really been one to tow the line."  

[Incantation per Closed Captioning]
"By the generous will of the ancients, the almighty power of the divine spirits, your supplicants humbly beseech thee to behold us and that which we possess -- the moieties of the one, the avatar.
Spiritus...Spirit.  
Animus...Heart.  
Sophus...Mind.  
And Manus...The hand.  
We enjoin that we may inhabit the vessel -- the hand, daughter of Sineya, first of the ones.  We implore thee, admit us.   Bring us to the vessel.  Take us now."

[Spoken Incantation]
Willow: "Power of the Slayer in all who yield it, last to ancient first we invoke thee.  Grant us thy domain and primal strength.  Accept us and the powers we possess.  Because mind and heart and spirit join, let the hand encompass us.  Do thy will."
Willow: "Spiritus...Spirit."
Xander: "Animus...Heart."
Giles: "Sophus...Mind."
Willow: "And Manus...The hand."
Willow: "We enjoin that we may inhabit the vessel -- the hand, daughter of Sineya, first of the ones.  We implore thee, admit us.   Bring us to the vessel.  Take us now."  

Forrest: "Shut up and watch me kill your girlfriend, Finn.  That's an order."

Buffy: "Fun, isn't it."
Adam: "I do appreciate violence."

Buffy (Breaking spike off of Adam's left arm): "Broke your arm."
Adam: "Got another.  (Gattling gun morphs out of Adams right arm)  I've been upgrading."

Buffy (with the power of other Slayers to Adam): "You could never hope to grasp the source of our power.  [Buffy rips Adam's power source out of his chest]  But yours is right here."  

Giles: "... your heroism was slightly muted by the fact that you were helping Adam to start a war that would kill us all."
Xander: "You probably just saved us so we wouldn't stake you right here."
Spike:  "Well, yeah.  Did it work?  --  Well, then everything's all right, and we all get to be not staked through the heart.  Good work, team."

Riley: "We still got men out there."
Spike: "Well, let's go save 'em, by gum."

Government Official: "It was an experiment.  The Initiative represented the government's interest in not only controlling the otherworldly menace, but in harnessing its power for our own military purposes.  The considered opinion of this counsel is that the experiment has failed.  Once the prototype took control of the complex, our soldiers suffered a 40% casualty rate.  And it seems that it was only through the actions of a deserter and a group of civilian insurrectionists that our losses were not total.  I trust the irony of that is not lost on any of us.  Maggie Walsh's vision was brilliant, but ultimately insupportable.  The demons cannot be harnessed, cannot be controlled.  It is therefore our recommendation that this project be terminated and all records concerning it expunged.  Our soldiers'll be debriefed.  Standard confidentiality clause.  We will monitor the civilians and the usual measures prepared should they try to go public.  I don't think they will.  The Initiative itself will be filled in with concrete.  Burn it down, gentlemen.  Burn it down and salt the earth.  That's all."  

Restless