 |
|
 |
Home
Page
Family
History
I'm
Almost There
Favorite
Links
About
the Author
About
Gary
About
the Poetry
Critique
Poetry
Pages
Survival
Humor
Family
Grief
Self
Esteem
Love
Pets
Friends
Women's
Issues
I find that my sense of humor is all encompassing as I grow older. Nothing is sacred anymore. I love writing about all the things that used to worry me when I was younger. Weight gain, wrinkles, droopy things, and menopause are some examples;
�
How I hate my mirror!
It will not tell a lie
I prefer my camera
With its not so critical eye
I used to like them equally
While in the bloom of youth
But my mirror's been developing
A penchant for the truth
�
�
They told me it would happen
And said there's no escape
It happens to the best of us
Regardless of our size or shape
�
There's no discrimination
To wealth or class or creed
It strikes the ones in management
And the working breed
�
It strikes the female democrats
And the GOP
And even Queen Elizabeth
Can't stop it by decree
�
It struck me having dinner
In a crowded place
With everybody looking
At my sweating, scarlet face
�
And now it has my number
It will call from time to time
Or drop in unexpectedly
As it's done with friends of mine
�
It has me at its mercy
There are no protective laws
So I'll live with the hot flushes
That came with menopause
THINK THIN
"Gained a little weight there"
She said as she went by
I signaled to the waiter
Forget that piece of pie
Could be the dress I'm wearing
Just doesn't fit me right
But than again it took some time
to zip my Jeans last night
Well, back to eggs and grapefruit
Drinking dry white wine No more snacks at midnight
It's time to toe the line
As I sat there feeling dumpy
Another friend came in
"Hi there it's been ages
God your looking thin"
So my Jeans felt tighter
when I put them on last night
I'd had them in the dryer
That would make them tight
Feeling so much thinner
I caught the waiter's eye
"When you have a moment
I'll have that piece of pie"
�
�
Some wear "A", some wear "B"
Some wear triple "D"
Than can create a problem
When you're only five feet three
�
They make them long
They make them short
They make them "move with you"
If you moved and it didn't
I wonder what you'd do
�
They fasten in the front of you
They fasten in the back
They come in many colors
Plus basic white and basic black
Some can't wait to own one
Much to their parents ire
Some used to rant about them
And burned them in a fire
�
Myself, I used to wear one
I was younger then you see
It fitted me quite nicely
Size 36, cup B
I'm older now and braless
But before you say I'm wrong
Tell me first where I can buy
Size 36, cup long
�
You ask about my diet
And exercise routine
You want to know my secret
I'm ageless it would seem
You believe I'm middle aged
I've been around so long
Yet I'm free of wrinkles
So you wonder if you're wrong
�
My skin you say
is smooth as wax
My body firm and taut
You think I've found the secret
The whole wide world has sought
My secret's very simple
And known to none but me
I drink embalming fluid
While you're all drinking tea
�
�
Isn't that girl lovely
Feminine and chic
Hair so long and silky
Figure quite unique
How I'd love to meet her
She's feminine perfection
See how every head has turned
To look in her direction?
Her legs are long and shapely
Her teeth are pearly white
Dreams are made of girls like that
You must admit I'm right!
�
I see a lovely woman
Whose head is high and proud
Who knows that she's the equal
Of any in the crowd
I see the great intelligence
That shines within her eyes
The warmth and understanding
That nothing can disguise
Let me introduce you
I've known her half my life
Meet my chief advisor
My partner and my wife
�
�
. Type your text here. Type your text here. Type your text here. Type your text here. Type your text here. Type your text here. Type your text here. Type your text here. Type your text here.
Type your text here. Type your text here. Type your text here. Type your text here. Type your text here. Type your text here. Type your text here. Type your text here. Type your text here. Type your text here. Type your text here. Type your text here.
