Blonde Jokes

A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over to the side of the road. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the road and told the blonde "Stand in the circle and DON'T MOVE!". He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around, she had a slight grin on her face, so he said "Oh, you think that's funny? Watch this." He got a baseball bat out of his truck and broke every window in her car. When he turned and looked at her, she had a smile on her face. So he was really starting to get mad. He went and got his knife back out and sliced up all her tires. The blonde started laughing and the truck driver was really starting to lose it. He went back to his truck and got a can of gas, poured it on her car and set it on fire. He turned around and she was laughing so hard, she was about to fall down. "What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the blonde. She replied, "When you weren't looking I stepped outside the circle 4 times!"

Q. Why did the Blonde climb the glass wall ?
A. To see whats on the other side.

Q. How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye?
A. Shine a flashlight in her ear!

Q. Why is it harder to make a blonde snowman, compared to a brunette snowman?
A. You have to hollow out the head!

Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's mine?"

Q: What is the difference between a pregnant blonde and a lightbulb?
A: You can unscrew a lightbulb.

Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q. How do you know that a blonde has sent you a fax?
A. There's a stamp in the corner of the fax!

Q. Why won't pharmacists hire blondes as secrataries?
A. They keep on breaking those bottles in the typewriter!

Q. How do you get a blonde to laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell her a joke on Tuesday!

Q. What did a blonde get on her SAT test?
A. Nail Polish

Q. What do you call a smart blonde?
A. A Golden Retriever

Q. What do you call a blonde who lives in Alaska?
A. A Frosted Flake.

One day, a blonde and a brunnette were walking on the sidewalk when the brunette stopped and exclaimed "Look! a dead bird!" The blonde immediately looked up and said "Where? Where?"

Two dumb blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first dumb blond said "These look like deer tracks," and the other one said, "No, they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.

Two dumb blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because", he replied, "that's a microwave.

A blonde's car breaks down on the Interstate one day, so she eases it over onto the shoulder. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. Out jump two more blondes in trench coats, who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing themselves to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, one of the worst pile-ups in history of this highway occurs. It's not very long before a police car shows up. The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward the driver of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What the devil is going on here?" "My car broke down," says the lady calmly. "Well, what are those blondes doing here by the road?" screams the cop. "Those are my emergency flashers!" replied the first blonde!

A blonde teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me"..... "Babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?" "Yes, dear." replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up, and she wouldn?t have to explain it to her daughter. "But then when I have a baby," responded the blonde teenager "won't it knock my teeth out?