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On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??" For a moment there is silence.
everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at
the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in
the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he
says. He's gorgeous! Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black
eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one
button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in
anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles
ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his
shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Iron this."
A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know
which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register.
There is a Wal-Mart "associate" standing there with dark shades
on. She says, "Excuse me sir...can you tell me anything about this
rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "Thats a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and reel and it's $20.00". She says, "That is amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her..being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?" He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck all is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50."
8 things you will never hear a woman say 8. What do you mean today's our
anniversary? How many men does it take to please a woman. Impossible. Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep
how many women does it take to
screw in a lightbulb?
A few people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, "My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG." Another guy says, "What's that?" The first guy says, "That means I am a Single, New Age Guy." Another one says, "My name is Gary, and I am a DINK. A girl asks, "What's that?" He says, "That means I am a Double Income, No Kids." A lady says, "That's nice. My name is Gertrude, and I am a WIFE." Larry says, "A wife? What's a wife?" She says, "That means, 'Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."
"Yesterday scientists in the USA revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive..."
Why did God invent lesbians?
Why did the woman cross the road?
What do you do if your dishwasher breaks
down?
How many divorced Women does it take to
screw in a light bulb?
How many women does it take to change a
light bulb?
What is the difference between a battery
and a woman?
Did you hear about the guy who
finally figured out women?
Why do men pass gas more than
women? |
