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COUNSELING  FOR

CHRISTIAN FAMILY LIFE

Part 5.

CONFERENCE TIRUR, INDIA, Dec. 7 the. 2000

Given by bro. C.B. Beekhuizen, Holland

Summary prepared by: zr. Asenath and Abigail Hakkeem, Manjeri, India (19 and 11 jr)

Endnotes of Family life

In the non-Christian family life there are often many difficulties between the parents and their children. This problem has also arise among the Christian family. The reason is that people has no good understanding about God’s will for family life. They have their own culture and meaning about that goal. Those who have devoted activities to God’s people is always God’s work in men It can be that men are really repent, but that is not the same as to be born-again! Only when men are born again, then the Holy Spirit is indwelling in you!

The basic foundation of Christian family life is therefore mentioned in the following way:

         REPENTANCE

2.         TO BE BORN AGAIN

         TO BE BAPTISED.

4.         RECEIVE HOLY SPIRIT

In Acts. 2: 38-47 we can see the real foundation of Christian family life. There is there given a  promise for the whole family, when they are willing to stand apart and separate of this world, accept the Gospel personally and stand firmly on the right foundation. Only then you can be an example to others (see Acts. 2:42).

  MORE ABOUT FAMILY LIFE.

We can get more information about family life from. Eph. 5: 19- 33

Vs  19,20       Be thankful and signing hymns to GOD in the name of the Lord.

Vs. 21, 22      Be humble to each other Col.3: 10-21;  Col 4:2-6.

Vs. 23a          Know your place and responsibility in own family and assembly.Mark.10: 1-16.

Vs. 23b          Know your place and responsibility in the world. Acts.15: 14,17,21; 1Tim.3: 1-7.

Vs. 24, 32      The marriage and family life are an example of Christ and his bride!

Vs. 25             What is real love? See John.10: 11; 15:13,14

Vs. 26, 27      Goals? Purify his own body! Through God’s word!

Vs. 28-30       Love each other has your own body! See Pro.31, the ideal household.

Vs. 31             It’s need to left your own family when you married (Gen.12: 1;Exo.4: 18-26).

Vs. 32-33       God’s love is God fearing too, but not the same as to be afraid (Gen.3: 10)!

EDUCATION

In Eph 4:7-16 there we can see the communication between parents and children. The goal of Christian education is that we can help the children to become a complete man in Christ. The other goal is that the children should learn and listen to the education of the Holy Spirit, who will teach only from the Word of God. In Rom.8: 12-17 we can see about this.

Eph.6: 1-4

Vs. 1-3           Children, be obedient to parents, there is a promise. In Dt.5: 16 and Col.3: 20, we can see the obedience of children to the parents.

Vs. 4               Education is needy, but not in bitterness and hardness. In Dt. 6:6,7,20; Ps.78:4; Prov.19:8; 22:6; 29:17,18; Heb.12:1-15 and 6:10-12 we can see that education is very important. But the lessons must be given not in bitterness and hardness. This will be a good teaching to all parents…

FAMILY LIFE IN THE LAST (BAD) DAYS.

(see Mat. 10:21-39 and 24:4-13)

Bible reading: 2.Tim 3:1- 4:5.

Vs. 3               There is no longer family life or caring older people and the younger ones. They are lost without real love from parents or relatives! (See the incident in Sodom and Lot and his family).

Vs. 4               Children will be upset by the parents. They are under influence of wrong spiritual leaders (See Mat.10: 16-22,24:1-24).

Vs. 5               People will be very religious but without the Holy Spirit (See Jude.vs.17-25).

Vs. 6               The influence in this modern time by television and Internet in our homes is high because there is no control of their parents (or the parents themselves are slaves of the television or internet).

Vs. 7-9           There will be a lack of knowledge, because there is no real faith in the Lord Jesus (See Heb.5: 11-14 and Isa.29: 10 –16)

The following verses explain how to overcome all this troubles in family life. Obedience is the keyword in life of the real Christian!

Vs. 10-11       There are nine keywords in this verses.1e. Teaching, 2e. The way of Christian life, 3e. To be an example, 4e. Faith, 5e. Patience, 6e. Love, 7e. Endurence, 8e. Persecutions and 9e. Sufferings for the sake of the Lord Jesus.

In the following chapter, the verses 1-5, we learn the following things.

Vs. 1   There will come the final judgement of the Lord Jesus! People don’t like it to hear such preaching and often they will scoffers with the word of God and the Christian education (See Acts 17:30-32;Jude vers.17 18)

Vs. 2   Therefore the call of the Lord is: preach the gospel till the end!

Vs. 3   Because there will be a time that people don’t listen to the Christian message! They will

            hear only what they want and what people pleased.

Vs. 4   Therefore they will make their own doctrine and way of life. But that is not the real Christain life! People will listen to false doctrine, false gospel and a false Christ! They will receive a false and bad (religious) spirit also (See 2.Cor.11: 3-4,13-15; 2.Thes.2:3-12; Isa.29: 11-14; 28:7-13).

Vs. 5   Therefore, each real believer must be a disciple of Christ, willing to suffer for Him, doing the work of an evangelist. You must be trustful for others, because the Lord Jesus will make you responsible to preach His real Gospel. That begins in your own family!!!

Family life and parents education.

In the word of God Joz. 23: 7; 24:14,15, has written that it was forbidden to call out the name of the idols of the gentiles! So unique in the Name of Jehovah! For an example, during the last week I went to Madras. There I have preached to the workers in a Christian factory meeting about the difference between some Indian religions and Christianity. I did not realise that the bible says that men cannot call the name of Hindu gods and the Name of Jesus in the same time. Therefore my translator was not willing to call out the names of Hindu gods in the same time with the Name of Jesus.

During the second lesson about family life in a bad time, there was a question given by a father when you must begin to tell your eleven old daughter about sexuality. I told him that it is the best way that the mother tells their daughter about these things and that the father gave his education to his son!

Now the bible readings for family life and parents education.

Deut. 6: 1-9   Education is the task of parents and grand parents also! (v.2). It is important that parent’s life must be in according with the Lord’s Words and that they served the Lord God with whole their hearts and in all their power! They must tell their children about the great deeds of the Lord God from the morning till the evening. During the morning break fast, in the auto car, during walking, in the daily breaks and in the evenings before the family goes to bed.

Col. 3:12-24 But education must be given in a lovely and humble way. Children must seen the fruit of the Holy Spirit in their parent’s education and life (See Gal.5:22).

The apostle Paul wrote: ”And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity” (vs.14).

1.Thes.1: 2-10 When parents and the members of a local church are a good example, the younger ones will listen to them! Therefore it is very important to show the Christian works, but works in faith. The labour, but prompted by love and the endurance inspired by hope in the Lord Jesus. Then children and other people around you will ask you more about the Lord Jesus and will respect you.

1.Tim.3:1-7   Specially the father must be a good teacher and example for his children. Then only he will be a good counsellor in the local church too.

2.Tim. 2:2      Father and mother must be able to give their inspired lessons from the bible when they had first listen to their Master, the Lord Jesus. Then they can tell their children and other men about Jesus and His Word.

2. Tim.3:10,11 You however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patiencelove, endurance, persecutions, sufferings-what kinds of things happened to me in Antioch, Iconium and Lystra, the persecutions I endured. Yet the Lord rescued me from all of them”.

From this verse we can realise that father should be a good teacher and the children must follow them.

Isa. 58:12      It is nice to see that children of real Christian parents, when they are getting older, will serve their Lord in several ways. In educating other people in foreign countries, to be a helping hand in Christian- and social works. Helping poor men and building up destroyed placed by war conflicts.

Eph. 5 17-6:4  Therefore we must all, parents and their children, be in the Lord’s will.

John. 8:30-36 The Christian life of children however is never an automatically gift of the Lord by education of the parents and their godly life! Children must make their own decision for the Lord Jesus and must be born again, before they can serve the Lord too.

Rom.8:12-17             Then, children and their parents will live according the holy will of God, under the daily leading of the Holy Spirit. Every day you will give thanks to the Father in heaven, such as the holy ones in heaven will do. (Rev.5: 9,10 

Family life in practice.

In this modern time family life will be destroying in many cases. The reason is often that the parents take no time for their children. Many fathers are too busy, or have a second secret life with their secretary. Their example is influencing the children and they will often do the same as their parents. Paul wrote in his letter to Titus that it is very important that fathers and mothers must be trustful, healthy in their doctrine and practice and full of faith, love and patience. (See Tit.2: 1,2).

From the following verses we can see how a good family life works.

Tit. 2:1-8.       Both man and woman must be healthy in doctrine and practice. Because the children and neighborhood will look to you. Many women are speaking too much in a wrong way. Paul wrote: ”teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers…”Their task is to teach their younger ones, such as: training the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God”(vs.4, 5).

Heb.12:12-28  When we walk through the light of Jesus and His word, we will be able to strength our feeble arms and weak knees. Only then we can make level paths for our feet and also for the feet of our children and family members.

Acts.16:30-34 God will save whole families, our children and grandparents too. Often we see in the Bible that when the head of a family will accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, the servants in his house will also accept the Lord Jesus.

Mat. 9:12,13. Not for good men who has no need for saving the souls.

There are several points for the real Christian family life:

1. All things will be changed, when special woman will be listening to the Gospel. Often a real change in family life will begin with the repentance of the wife and their children! Because the beginning of all the difficulties in this world was through the disobedience and independency of Eve. Therefore there is written in 1 Tim. 2:11-15 about her position in the family. When she take this Christian position, then there is a great promise of the Lord!

2.  When woman accept her husband as the head of the family, things will be good, when she will pray for a blessing for her husband. He will be an example for the whole family and anyone will see the Lord Jesus in his life.

3.  But without love, things will be going wrong. There is written: ”Men, love your own wife!” To have more wives, it will be possible in other cultures, but not among Christians!

4.  Such as Christ has washed our souls by His holy Word (1 Pet.1:22;Tit.3:5), so through his education the husband can cleans the souls of all the family members!

5.  But he must it do in the right attitude, humble and gentle, in patience, bearing all his family members in love. Making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bound of peace (Eph.4: 2,3).

6. The man must love his (own) wife as his own body! Many men will be good in sports and bodybuilding, they loves their own body! But a few men will love their wives in this way…In Christ we have a good example. He gave his body for his bride!

7. Very important for a man is that he will leave his family and to care his wife and give her their own house to bring up their children. To much influences of the family give often many troubles! Often the mother will make a stand between her son and his wife.

8.  The focus of this message is vs.32.Christian family life is an example of Christ and His church, the body of Christ.

Mat. 25:21 When father and mother will be holy and teach their children in a biblical way, there is a promise in verse21, The Lord will give you His reward! ”Behold I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done” (Rev.22: 12)

Rom.16:19,20. Another promise is, that there will be power against Satan and his tricks! “The only wise God be glory fore ever through Jesus Christ! Amen.”

Assembly Truth must starts in our Christian family life!

2 Tim 2:24,25   And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to knowledge of truth.

Prov.25: 15.  Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.

From these two verses we can learn how important it is to be an example in your own family!

Conclusion:

From the above thoughts we can conclude that all men understand God’s will for their life.

All people need repenting and a real understanding about who is the Lord Jesus Christ!  (Tit 2:11-3:8). And about education, when children are to long under education of their parents, then spiritual growing is stopped. (Gal.4: 5). When fathers bring the Law only and not the Gospel, the children become slave under the parents and they will not become a Priest and King for God the Father! (Gal.2: 18-20) Therefore apostle Paul prayed for the believers that the Lord Jesus and the Holy Spirit by His love may be indwelling in the believers, and must fill it in the whole house. (Eph.3: 16-19).

Obedience is the key word in all the Christian family life. That is why children must be obedient to their parents and they must be good example for their children. There will be a lack of knowledge because there is no real faith in the Lord Jesus. In 2.tim.4:2 we can see that preach the gospel till the end! And also we can see in Gal. 5:22 about education must be given in a lovely and humble way. Children must see the fruit of the Holy Spirit from their parent’s education and life. Therefore all parents and their children must be in the Lord’s will. Children must make their own decision for the Lord Jesus and must be born again, before they can serve Lord too. It is a big needs to take the Bible principles about family life. This means that parents must change their life style. The Bible calls that “repenting”, or betters to be “born again”(John.3: 5; 1.Pet.1:22,23). According to Eph.5: 22-33 family lives must build on this foundation. We can realise a lot of real Christian family life from these verses. Husband and wife must be co-operating with each other and they are in good relation. This is very important for Christian family life. Parents and children must also be in good relation with each other and parents should be a best example for their children. If he can follow the above all these things, he can build a real family life. He must give Christian education to his children through the word of God and will have to bring up them in a real faith and love. It is the responsibility of all the parents.

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