My Road to No More Fear

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I look back, & now I understand what God meant.

Did you ever get a word of knowledge & did not understand what God meant? Well, I did, & I finally figured it out....

I have a tumor inside of me the size of a cantaloupe, the doctors say it is probably a fibroid, Now before this God said, "To have faith, I have to have faith even more than what I am having, HE wants to do miraculous things, but I need to trust HIM even more." HE also said, weeks prior, "To walk freely. Walk with out fear. "

The first one I mentioned thru me for a loop, to walk with more faith? , I really thought I was giving everything over to God, I mean, I was at peace about the surgery, (usually I have panic attacks) I gave it to God saying you are in complete control, But, little did I realize, till the next few days & weeks, that I truly was not. I was from my eyes , but not from God's.

I still thought about what would happen after surgery? Was I going to die? Oh God answered that thru another word of knowledge, "you will look back at this as one bad dream a year from now" is just part of what HE said . You are going to be swinging from the monkey bars with the boys. " That has been my secret desire", So no I was not going to die. Another one was to walk with out fear, I thought HE meant, that I can get out of the wheelchair, but nope, oh yeah, HE probably meant that too, that if I take beby steps getting out of the chair I will be fine. HE will guide me, but HE later revealed to me, that I was walking in fear of the devil. Instead of saying this thing is not cancer, I hung onto, that one word, that satan slithered into the Doctors words, there is always a small possibility. You think I would know better, I should have right there, denied it, in Jesus name. But, I didn't, satan tried & tried to get me to worry about it, but when I relaized that it was satan trying, that is when I turned my back to satan. oh then of course God had to use Ken, last week, when he said, that we are supposed to give our lives over to God 100%, when we worry, or start thinking about what satan wants us to think about, we are no longer giving God 100%

Then of course weeks prior to this, Duane, gave a message using a rope, & how satan can have us wrapped up in his thoughts. He literally had a rope, & he used someone else to wrap him up in this rope. Can pisture someone wrapped up in a rope, & the one who wrapped him, holding the end of the rope? Now, the person who wrapped him, has total control. But in order to have us wrapped in a rope, we would have had to stya still at a point, & let him do it, in fear. But, he can't have us wrapped up, if we do not take the end of the rope in the first place. We have to completely go away, flee from every thought, that satan wants us to think about. Every time, satan puts an enticing word in our minds, we flee, we run, or in this case, we turn our back to satan, & pray in Jesus name.

Then on a Wednesday night, Lee, talked about the different names for the devil, & what they mean. I learned alot tonight, as well, as over the past several weeks. Last week we touched on satans works & The question "IF God is a good God, then why did He allow tradegy to happen. Like the Sept 11 tragedies"

I thought I had a nice answer, I thought I understood it, but I was so wrong, & I want to share with my church family I was wrong in my response....

See thru friends I read a beautiful response to this, that God did tell people to stay home, some listened, some did not, He did rescue some people. We need to concentrate on the ones who were saved. But, when I thought about what I said, even though I thought about it before I said it, it sounded so shallow.

Lee explained Wednesday, that God NEVER intended anything like this to happen. Nothing bad. & he went on there giving more examples. But, you know, now I understand, that when bad things happen, it is not God's intentions. But, when we turn to God, & listen fully to HIM, He will turn every situation around. Tom & I lost a very close friend, died in his back yard. A neighbor said, he grabbed his head, sat down, & passed out.

Never could revive him. His wife & 2 small kids were out of town at the time. I always wondered why, God why did you take this young man away. he was 39. He was doing so much good for you. He was a loving father, & a step in father for a sister in Christ who adopted children. He would spend time with the little boys she adopted. He won several lives to Christ. Now why in the world would he want to take him???? Now I understand, I totally understand. God never intended it, his wife even made sure no one was mad at God. At his funeral, they handed out a little pamphlet. In this, was a letter from the heart, of a sister in Christ who just lost her husband, but she wrote, do not be mad at God. Dave would never want that. Someday we will understand the why's, but for now, we do not need to know. Oh it had more, but isn't that wonderful.

Satan had me wrapped in that rope all these years. But, now I am no longer hanging on.

I want to thank you, all for listening to God, to give the words to me, when they were given to you. I also, want to thank, Ken, Lee & Duane. messages were given.

All the words came together like a puzzle.....

update

I am now recovering from a hysterectomy. The doctors found 2 tumors, both benign. I want to share with you more of how God worked in such a miraculous way, so please look for a new article coming before the Spring of 2002.


	From My Heart \| home Our thinking versus God's reality \| An Over Due Thank You \| Close to You \| A Long Journey \| Erasing Boo-Boos \| Treasured Moments \| Our Sons Made Us a Meal \| They Made the Cake & Ate it Too \| Who Did This \| Vacation in History \| One of Life's Storms \| My Road to No More Fear \| Garden In My Heart \| You Are Not Alone \| More coming My Road to No More Fear I look back, & now I understand what God meant. Did you ever get a word of knowledge & did not understand what God meant? Well, I did, & I finally figured it out.... I have a tumor inside of me the size of a cantaloupe, the doctors say it is probably a fibroid, Now before this God said, "To have faith, I have to have faith even more than what I am having, HE wants to do miraculous things, but I need to trust HIM even more." HE also said, weeks prior, "To walk freely. Walk with out fear. " The first one I mentioned thru me for a loop, to walk with more faith? , I really thought I was giving everything over to God, I mean, I was at peace about the surgery, (usually I have panic attacks) I gave it to God saying you are in complete control, But, little did I realize, till the next few days & weeks, that I truly was not. I was from my eyes , but not from God's. I still thought about what would happen after surgery? Was I going to die? Oh God answered that thru another word of knowledge, "you will look back at this as one bad dream a year from now" is just part of what HE said . You are going to be swinging from the monkey bars with the boys. " That has been my secret desire", So no I was not going to die. Another one was to walk with out fear, I thought HE meant, that I can get out of the wheelchair, but nope, oh yeah, HE probably meant that too, that if I take beby steps getting out of the chair I will be fine. HE will guide me, but HE later revealed to me, that I was walking in fear of the devil. Instead of saying this thing is not cancer, I hung onto, that one word, that satan slithered into the Doctors words, there is always a small possibility. You think I would know better, I should have right there, denied it, in Jesus name. But, I didn't, satan tried & tried to get me to worry about it, but when I relaized that it was satan trying, that is when I turned my back to satan. oh then of course God had to use Ken, last week, when he said, that we are supposed to give our lives over to God 100%, when we worry, or start thinking about what satan wants us to think about, we are no longer giving God 100% Then of course weeks prior to this, Duane, gave a message using a rope, & how satan can have us wrapped up in his thoughts. He literally had a rope, & he used someone else to wrap him up in this rope. Can pisture someone wrapped up in a rope, & the one who wrapped him, holding the end of the rope? Now, the person who wrapped him, has total control. But in order to have us wrapped in a rope, we would have had to stya still at a point, & let him do it, in fear. But, he can't have us wrapped up, if we do not take the end of the rope in the first place. We have to completely go away, flee from every thought, that satan wants us to think about. Every time, satan puts an enticing word in our minds, we flee, we run, or in this case, we turn our back to satan, & pray in Jesus name. Then on a Wednesday night, Lee, talked about the different names for the devil, & what they mean. I learned alot tonight, as well, as over the past several weeks. Last week we touched on satans works & The question "IF God is a good God, then why did He allow tradegy to happen. Like the Sept 11 tragedies" I thought I had a nice answer, I thought I understood it, but I was so wrong, & I want to share with my church family I was wrong in my response.... See thru friends I read a beautiful response to this, that God did tell people to stay home, some listened, some did not, He did rescue some people. We need to concentrate on the ones who were saved. But, when I thought about what I said, even though I thought about it before I said it, it sounded so shallow. Lee explained Wednesday, that God NEVER intended anything like this to happen. Nothing bad. & he went on there giving more examples. But, you know, now I understand, that when bad things happen, it is not God's intentions. But, when we turn to God, & listen fully to HIM, He will turn every situation around. Tom & I lost a very close friend, died in his back yard. A neighbor said, he grabbed his head, sat down, & passed out. Never could revive him. His wife & 2 small kids were out of town at the time. I always wondered why, God why did you take this young man away. he was 39. He was doing so much good for you. He was a loving father, & a step in father for a sister in Christ who adopted children. He would spend time with the little boys she adopted. He won several lives to Christ. Now why in the world would he want to take him???? Now I understand, I totally understand. God never intended it, his wife even made sure no one was mad at God. At his funeral, they handed out a little pamphlet. In this, was a letter from the heart, of a sister in Christ who just lost her husband, but she wrote, do not be mad at God. Dave would never want that. Someday we will understand the why's, but for now, we do not need to know. Oh it had more, but isn't that wonderful. Satan had me wrapped in that rope all these years. But, now I am no longer hanging on. I want to thank you, all for listening to God, to give the words to me, when they were given to you. I also, want to thank, Ken, Lee & Duane. messages were given. All the words came together like a puzzle..... update I am now recovering from a hysterectomy. The doctors found 2 tumors, both benign. I want to share with you more of how God worked in such a miraculous way, so please look for a new article coming before the Spring of 2002.