5 LADY VENOMS - Okay, so I put this movie in, hit PLAY, and for sixty seconds a naked girl and a guy only in his Fruit of the Looms slow dance... then the Hong Kong chopsocky film begins! I understand grabbing the attention of the viewer right off, but what the hell was this?! Anyway, we got two mob bosses, Mr. Fung and Mr. Lau. Fung has Lau killed, so Lau's daughter recruits a bunch of gals to strike back, the least of which is the lead girl of the "Amazons of the West" girl gang! They train incessantly in the arts of beach kung-fu and motocross. All this culminates in a massive knife brawl leaving everyone dead - those of our heroines who survive are arrested, cuffed, and hauled off to a Cantonese clink! Contrary to what this all sounds like, it's a really stinky film that makes no sense and is fun only for the fact that it seems like four movies were edited together to make this mess. If you're a fan of chick-fighting movies (and who isn't?), avoid this at all costs... it just don't deliver the goods! Also, I believe lots of incidental music from ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE was heisted for this film.
7 DOORS OF DEATH - A woman inherits a Louisiana hotel. She decides to open it up again. Nearly 60 years earlier, a guy was killed there. The guy had been guarding one of the gateways to hell, which the hotel was built on. For some reason, the door has now been opened. Dead people start wandering around killing people. Some die in real interesting ways. One guy gets eaten by tarantulas. Another person gets shards of glass drilled into his face. Decent movie, with several cool scenes. No nudity, but lots of gore. - BONUS REVIEW -
7 DOORS OF DEATH - Though essentially plotless (Liza renovates gothic Louisiana manor that happens to be one of the seven gateways to hell), this film is filled with creepy images and horrifying gore scenes. Cringe as tarantulas eat a fallen architecht's face! (My God, they're biting his tongue!!!!) Retch as Joe the plumber has his eyes poked out by demonic hands! Wow, they drove spikes through the painter's wrists, nailing him to a concrete wall, and now they're melting his face off with boiling wax!!! Definitely a must see, though I hear that THE BEYOND, the film's original title, now available from Tarantino's Rolling Thunder studio, is even gorier.
13 GHOSTS - Goony family of financially na�ve museum curator inherits spooky manor from a recently deceased, ghosthunting uncle. Haunted shenanigans ensue, but don't worry, it's just crooked attorney Martin Milner! Nice old fashioned haunted house story with director Castle's usual campy touches, the least of which are ghosts that disappeared with a special ghost viewer audiences were handed back in '60. Unfortunately, this is video and we don't get to have that kind of fun. By the way, where was the thirteenth ghost?!
2000 MANIACS - "Yeeeeeee-ha! Oh the south's gonna rise again!" And with that refrain, thus begins a sleazy classic from the master of sleazy classics. Six northerners get stuck in Pleasant Valley, a town celebrating its centennial. Much to their bloody chagrin, the celebration includes the bar-be-queing of the blonde bimbo, the drawing and quartering of her husband, a spiky barrel-roll down a hill for the nerdy guy, and a twisted version of a carnival dunk-tank involving a boulder suspended over his prissy gal. Two of us Yankees barely escape and we learn that the "ghost" town was wiped out by Union troops back in 1865. Tons of crappy acting and bad all-around filmmaking compensated by the jolly sleaziness of it all. My favorite Herschell Gordon Lewis film!
ABBA: THE MOVIE - The Swedish supergroup stars in this documentary/movie. The film revolves around a hapless radio host who needs to get an interview with the band for his radio station. The rest of the film plays like a documentary, featuring plenty of stage performances, as well as backstage scenes. I must admit, though the music may seem a bit campy, I did enjoy it. We also learn that one of the "A's" in the group had the best butt in the world!
ABBOTT & COSTELLO GO TO MARS - The comedy pair are doing maintenance work in a rocket, when Costello accidentally launches them. When they land, they think their on Mars, when actually, they?re in New Orleans - during Mardi Gras! They get kidnapped by two escaped convicts and are forced to take off again. This time, they land on Venus, and find a world ruled by voluptuous women! Pretty good flick, done in their typical fashion. Check out the big headed costumes in Mardi Gras. They?re freaky! I?d have been scared too!
ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET THE KILLER, BORIS KARLOFF - Lou Costello plays Freddy Phillips, the bellhop of a nice hotel. When a murder takes place, all the clues point to him as being the killer. Abbott plays an investigator who knows that Costello is innocent and has been framed. He spends the rest of the film trying to cover up all the clues that implicate him. As the body count rises, so do the laughs. Karloff plays a swami, and we're led to believe that he may be the actual killer. Not until the very end do we find out for sure. This is one of the better Abbot & Costello flicks. Costello is particularly funny as the hapless bellhop who ultimately gets scared out of his wits.
THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN - Peter Cushing searches the Himalayas for the yeti. After several people die, we find out that there's actually several "snowmen" living in the mountains. We never see anything but an arm, until the end. We then find out that the snowmen actually look like big ugly people, with pushed-in noses. Decent flick, filmed in black and white.
ALIEN - Sigourney Weaver and Tom Skerritt star in this sci-fi classic. Responding to a distress signal on their way back to Earth, a spaceship's crew picks up an alien life form that spouts a nasty set of teeth and bleeds acid. One by one, the alien kills everyone but Ripley, and Jonesey the cat. Some great gore scens combined with some genuine frights make this a must see. Don't miss the classic scene of the alien "hatching" out of the crewman's body!
ALIENS - This is the sequel to ALIEN. In this one, Sigourney Weaver's character Ripley is found in space, more than 50 years after the events of the first film. She then goes back to investigate the original planet, along with a team of Marines. What they find is a former colony where everyone is dead. There's also hundreds of aliens. Before long, the aliens are attacking them. It's up to Ripley to help the team get out of there alive. Once this film gets going, it's unending action. This time around, she also has some really cool weapons to play with! Bill Paxton and Paul Reiser also costar. Just when you think it's all over, the action begins again. Awesome, awesome flick is one of the rare examples where the sequel is better than the original.
AIRPORT 1975 - An all star cast highlights this 1970's disaster film. This was the first of three "sequels" to AIRPORT. A 747 bound for Salt Lake City gets hit by a small private plane. The collision rips a hole in the cockpit, and most of the crew gets sucked out. Karen Black plays the stewardess who must then take over the controls. Charlton Heston and George Kennedy play the airline people trying to giude her down. Good movie, but it plays more like a made for TV flick. Gloria Swanson, Sid Caesar, Erik Estrada, Linda Blair and even former Oakland Raiders quarterback Jim Plunket also costar. Helen Reddy plays a singing nun. Despite the title, the film was made in 1974!
AIRPORT '77 - This is the second sequel to AIRPORT. Jack Lemmon stars as the pilot. This time, his copilot turns out to be a terrorist. He and his partners plan to steal some valuable artwork on board. The paintings (and the plane) belong to Jimmy Stewart. They end up crashing the plane into the Bermuda triangle, where it sinks to the bottom. Remarkably, it sinks in only 30 feet of water! George Kennedy appears in a small role, helping to get the rescue operation underway. Decent flick, with a different angle. The second half of the film takes place underwater. Darren McGavin, Gil Gerard and Olivia de Havilland costar as passengers.
ALTERED STATES - William Hurt makes his film debut in this sci-fi/horror flick. He plays a college professor named Jessup. Jessup experiments with hallucinogenic drugs, in order to tap into the existence of early man. Eventually the hallucinations become real, and his body actually regresses to an early form. Blair Brown costars as Jessup's wife, in this fascinating thriller. Be warned though. You really need to watch this film closely to catch all of the details. Look for Drew Barrymore (also in her film debut) as one of Jessup's daughters. A few years later, AHA's music video for "Take On Me" ripped off the final scene of this film.
ANDY WARHOL'S BAD - A woman runs a hair removal business out of her home. To supplement her income, she also runs a murder-for-hire business on the side. This film boasts a few disgusting scenes, including a literally jaw-dropping sequence in which an infant is tossed out of a 20-story building! If you've ever wondered what a baby sounds like, and looks like as it hits the ground, after a huge fall, watch this film. Needless to say, it's quite messy. Gruesome!!!
ANDY WARHOL'S DRACULA - This is Andy Warhol's version of Dracula. The count needs some virgin (pronounced weer-gin) blood to survive. Apparently, Romania is fresh out of virgins. So he and his helper travel to Italy. Italy must be a haven for virgins. "The Italians need them for their wedding ceremonies." Posing as a man searching for a wife, he ends up moving in with a family that has four nubile young daughters. The girls all claim to be virgins, but after biting them, he becomes violently ill, and begins to vomit, due to their impure blood. Luckily for him, one of the daughters is still a virgin. Will Dracula get to her, or will the trusty farmhand "save" her? (If you know what I mean) Watch and see. Decent horror flick with a few bloody gore scenes. Don't miss the total decapitation near the end of the film. This was originally rated X.
ANDY WARHOL'S FRANKENSTEIN - This is Andy Warhol's version of Frankenstein. Dr. Frankenstein is working to create the perfect man and woman. He plans to mate them, in order to get the perfect children he desires. He already has two kids with his wife. But seeing as his wife is also his sister, the kids are probably far from perfect! Dr. Frankenstein also likes to have sex with his female creation - while her insides are open, and before she's even "alive." "In order to know death, you must fuck life... in the gall bladder." Plenty of disgusting scenes, featuring exposed internal organs and lots of blood. One guy gets decapitated by a giant set of hedgeclippers. This was originally rated X.
ANIMALYMPICS - This is a cartoon movie which plays as if it's an actual TV broadcast of an all-animal olympics. (Broadcast on Z-O-O TV) Billy Crystal and Gilda Radner provide several of the voices. The film comes complete with many animal broadcasters, and several Flintstone-like animal references. This is best for kids.
ARTHUR 2: ON THE ROCKS - This is the sequel to ARTHUR. Dudley Moore and Liza Minnelli reprise their roles as Arthur and Linda. They're now married, and are hoping for children. Unfortunately, Arthur's former (almost) father-in-law, Bert Johnson, finds a way to merge his business with Arthur's family's. He then cuts Arthur off from all of his money, until he agrees to divorce Linda and marry his daughter Susan. Pretty good sequel which is both funny and heartwarming. Moore is once again very funny in his role as the loveable drunk. Paul Benedict and Kathy Bates appear as well. Sir John Gielgud also returns as the ghost of Arthur's former butler, Hobson.
BACK TO SCOOL - Rodney Dangerfield plays Thornton Melon, a millionaire businessman. In order to spend more time with his son, he enters college with him. Before long, Dangerfield is dating one of his professors, buttering up to the dean, and having people hired to do his homework. This great film is both hilarious and heartwarming. Along with CADDYSHACK, this is Dangerfield at his best. Be sure not to miss Dangerfield's ridiculous dive, the triple lindy. Sally Kellerman, Keith Gordon, Burt Young, Ned Beatty, Terry Farrell, and Robert Downey Jr. also costar. "Why don't you call me, when you have no class."
BACK TO THE FUTURE - This is a a wonderful adventure starring Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd. When Marty McFly is actually send back to 1955 in Doc Brown's time machine, he must successfully get his parents to fall in love. If not, he will be erased from existence. He and Doc also have to figure out how to generate 1.21 jigawatts of electricity in order to send him back to 1985. Crispin Glover plays Marty's hapless father, while Lea Thompson plays his mother. This features non-stop excitement and humor, from director Robert Zemeckis. Marty's rocking version of Johnny B. Goode is awesome! "Lorraine, you are my density."
BACK TO THE FUTURE PART III - This is the final story of the BACK TO THE FUTURE trilogy. This time, Marty McFly must go back to the old west to rescue Doc Brown from being shot by outlaw Mad Dog Tannin. With no gas, they need to find another way to get their time machine up to 88 MPH. Mary Steenburgen plays Clara Clayton, Doc's love interest. This film ties up all the loose ends of the trilogy. Much better than the previous film, this one also has a thrilling finale on a train. Michael J. Fox plays a dual role as his great great granfather, Seamus McFly. ZZ Top also has a small role as an old west band.
BAD DREAMS - An 11-year-old girl was hanging out with a love/death cult. An intentionally-set fire by the cult's leader kills all of the members, with the exception of the girl. She ended up in a coma for 13 years. When she awakens, she's placed in an institution to help her adjust. Before long, she thinks that she?s starting to see the cult leader. The leader is sometimes normal, sometimes horribly burned. He wants her to "rejoin" the group. One by one, her fellow patients start dying - killed by the cult leader. Is it real? Or is it all in her head? Maybe one of her doctors has an ulterior motive... Ok thriller, which does boast a few very good gore scenes. SUMMER SCHOOL's Chainsaw plays a self-abusing patient.
THE BAD SEED - This 1956 classic horror film is about an eight-year-old girl named Rhoda. Rhoda has a bad habit of killing people who piss her off! She becomes a sly, conniving murderer. She shows no remorse for her victims. She even kills a classmate for his scholastic medal! Very cool movie, but very disturbing. The film tried to show that some people can just be born bad. Kudos to Nancy Kelly who is extraordinary in the role of the tortured mother coming to grips with her evil daughter. This film is unforgettable.
THE BEASTMASTER - Marc Singer is Dar, a man who can control beasts. This is a medieval tale of a boy who must grow up to fulfill the prophecy that he is to kill Rip Torn. Rip is a bad guy who sacrifices children. When Dar was in the womb, he was magically transported into the womb of a cow. Wow!!! Anyway, Dar gets a tiger, a hawk, and two ferrets to help him on his quest. Not a bad flick. And we get to see three sets of breasts - in a PG movie!
THE BEAST WITH FIVE FINGERS - Peter Lorre stars in this black and white horror film. When a wealthy man dies, his heirs (and heir wannabees) fight over his estate. Meanwhile, the dead guy's hand comes back to life and starts choking people! Or perhaps it's just the imagination of a madman. Pretty decent horror film, with good special effects for its time. The hand crawls around and even plays the piano. Lorre plays his part brilliantly, as a paranoid man - who loves his books!
BEETLEJUICE - Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis play a young married couple. After they die in a car accident, they return to their house as ghosts. When a new family moves in, they try to scare them away. To aid them, they hire another dead guy named Betelguese (Michael Keaton). Tim Burton directed this quirky comedy. Keaton is especially good as the wise cracking corpse. Harry Belafonte's "Banana Boat Song" is heard in a memorable scene. Winona Ryder costars.
BEN - Some little kid becomes the new leader of the rats in this sequel to WILLARD. He keeps singing this obnoxious song in this puppet show. His best friend is his older sister, Merideth Baxter. (Pre-Birney) In other words, he has no friends - other than Ben, lead rat. The cops want to find and kill the rats. The nerve of them! Of course the kid won't tell. Eventually he goes into the subway to warn the rats of their impending doom. Senseless sequel which left the door open for yet another one. Don't miss Michael Jackson's ending theme song "Ben" - a love song to a rat!
THE BELIEVERS - Martin Sheen plays a therapist. When his wife is accidentally electrocuted, he and his son move to New York City. Sheen provides therapy for several members of the NYPD. In the city, kids begin to be killed in a voodoo-type manner. When Sheen gets too close, he and his son become a target as well. Sheen must then find a way to thwart the voodoo clan and save his son from being ritualistically killed. Good movie, featuring several creepy scenes. Helen Shaver costars as Sheen's new love interest. She ends up having a bunch of spiders burst out of her cheek! The head voodoo guy has white eyes, and is really frightening.
BETTER OFF DEAD - John Cusack stars as a teenager whose girlfriend dumped him for a champion skier. After a few, comical, botched suicide attempts, he falls for a French foreign exchange student. Cusack spends the rest of the film pursuing the French girl, dragracing with two Howard Cosell-imitating Japanese men, and running from a psychotic paperboy. "Two dollars!" This film is a hilarious sleeper. There's literally one laugh after another. Cusack's mother makes food that moves on its own! Don't miss the animated hamburger sequence! This is one of those films that can be watched over and over.
BEVERLY HILLS COP II - Eddie Murphy reprises his role as Axel Foley. He goes back to Beverly Hills to help Rosewood and Taggert nail the "alphabet" bandit. Jurgen Prochnow and Brigette Nielsen are the crime leaders. They deal in guns and weapons. Ok action comedy, but the jokes just aren't funny. Murphy's schtick pales in comparison to the first film. This was an unnecessary sequel. Look for Chris Rock in a small role as a valet parker. Hugh Hefner has a cameo.
BIG - A 12-year-old boy makes a wish to be big. The next day, he wakes up in the grownup body of Tom Hanks. He then makes it to New York, gets a job in a toy company and even gets a girlfriend. All the while, he acts like a typical boy. This is a wonderful film. Hanks plays his role perfectly. His childish actions will leave you laughing. This film features a memorable scene in which Hanks and his boss play on a foot piano. Don't miss the party scene in which Hanks tries a food that disagrees with him!
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA - Kurt Russel stars as a truck driver named Jack Burton. While trying to collect on a bet from a Chinese friend of his, he somehow gets mixed up with a bunch of Chinese magicians living in the underground of Chinatown. The bad guy is some half-man, half-spirit named Lo Pan. Russel really overacts, as he tries to play the gung ho macho man, trying to save the girl (Kim Cattrall). In the end, he succeeds and drives off into the sunset. This film (which also features the rare, green-eyed Chinese girl) can't decide if it wants to be "real" or a supernatural flick.
BIKER BABES - This is actually a 1967 film entitled THE HELLCATS. The plot is difficult to follow. The brother and widow of a policeman infiltrate a biker gang to try and find out who murdered him. Most of the film shows the gang getting drunk, stoned, or partying. In the end, there's a big rumble down by the waterfront. This is a truly awful film, with awful acting and awful music. A few nude scenes may have made this film a bit more bearable. But we're not even lucky enough for a single one of them.
BIRTH OF THE BEATLES - This film is an account of the early days of the Beatles. It covers the events from 1960-1964. Orignal drummer Pete Best served as the technical advisor of the film. We follow the boys through their days in Hamburg, as well as their hiring of manager Brian Epstein. This is a gritty look at the rise of the world's most popular band. Despite Pete Best's influence, the film doesn't portray the rest of the group members in a bad light. The Beatles' songs are performed by the group Rain.
BLACKOUT (1985) - A man's face is disfigured in a car accident. When he awakens, he has no memory of who he is. He has no identification on him. He may actually be a man who recently killed his entire family. Calling himself Alan Devlin, he marries Kathleen Quinlan and starts a new life. Six years later, the ex-cop who handled the murders, discovers Alan and investigates him. This is a neat little original thriller. Not until the very end do we find out the truth. This film looks and "feels" like a made for TV movie. Yet it does have some swearing in it.
BLACK ROSES - A heavy metal band starts their tour with a series of concerts in a small town. The band members worship the devil. Using satanic powers, they transform the kids into zombies. Though they look normal, they start killing people - including their own family members. Some of them turn into monsters. Some nudity, some gore, and a very late 1980's-looking hair band. I guess our parents were right. Heavy metal music will turn us all into devil worshipping, anti-social deviants!
THE BLOB (1988) - This is a remake of the 1958 horror classic. It stars Kevin Dillon and Shawnee Smith. The "blob" is a liquidy ooze that crashes down from outer space. It slithers around attacking people, engulfs them and dissolves their bodies. The government shows up to try and contain it. It turns out that the blob is a secret warfare experiment that's gone wrong - horribly wrong! Dillon does his best to look, act, and sound like his big brother Matt. Like the original, this flick is a bit campy. But it plays out a lot like a 1950's matinee monster movie. It's good fun. Check it out!
BLOODBATH AT THE HOUSE OF DEATH - At a spooky old mansion, 18 people were killed in one night. Years later, several investigators come to check the place out. What they find is a strange cult led by Vincent Price. The mansion needs to be empty of people for the cult's power to work. Despite the title, this is actually a spoof of horror films. Some of it works. Some of it doesn?t. It parodies everything from AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON to STAR WARS! Former Saturday Night Live member Pamela Stephenson has a brief nude scene, prior to having sex with an invisble demon.
BLOOD RELATIONS - A woman named Marie arrives with her new husband Tom to meet his father for the first time. His family is rich - and weird! Daddy likes to torture people in the basement. His specialty: brain surgery. Tom and Marie scheme to kill him for the inheritance. Decent movie, made much better by the shocking ending! Tom's mother had been killed in a car accident a year earlier... or had she? Marie takes her clothes off a few times as well. Ray Walston plays Tom's granfather.
BLOOD SABBATH - Anthony Geary (Luke from TV's General Hospital) stars in this early 1970's film. He plays a guy who stumbles upon a coven of witches, while hiking through the woods. He ends up falling in love with one of them. However, the head witch won't let him be with her, until he "gives up his soul." He does just that, but then he's rejected by the woman. Strange film, which features a lot of nudity, including Geary. The ending doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Dyanne Thorne plays the coven's leader.
BLOODSUCKING FREAKS - Welcome to Sardu's Theater Of The Macabre. No words can do justice to Joel Reed's 1977 classic. Along with his midget helper Ralphus, Sardu runs an S & M stage show in which the actresses are tortured and killed for real, unbeknownst to the audience. Ralphus eats eyeballs, a nude woman becomes a human dartboard, hands, feet, heads and fingers are severed, teeth are pulled with pliers, and a woman's brain is sucked out through a straw by a demented doctor! The brainsucking scene even sickens Sardu and Ralphus. This is the goriest, most repulsive film ever made! A true classic! Virtually every woman in this movie is totally nude. Though several of them are locked in a cage, just waiting to taste human flesh. They get their wish a few times - especially in the film's last scene. That's no hot dog she's eating! After playing Ralphus, Luis DeJesus played an Ewok in RETURN OF THE JEDI.
BLOODY MAMA - Shelly Winters stars as Ma Barker. Ma and her four boys drive across country on a crime spree. In order to make a big score, they kidnap a wealthy businesman and hold him for ransom. One of Ma's kids (Robert De Niro) is a druggie. Pretty good movie, though not at all what you might expect. Other (unrelated) "mama" gangster movies have humor in them. This film has none. It's a straight drama. This film also has some disturbing hints of incest between Ma and her boys. I don't know how accurate this film is to real life, but it is entertaining.
BLUE VELVET - Don't try to follow the plot too closely. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. Kyle MacLachlan finds a human ear in a field. He decides to do some investigating on his own. He ends up getting swept into a world of sex and violence. Dennis Hopper is brilliant as Frank Booth - a psychotic who beats women, sucks oxygen from a breathing mask, and says "fuck" more often than Al Pacino in SCARFACE. The plot revolves around the kidnapping of a lounge singer's son. As is David Lynch's norm, this film is full of bizarre characters and scenes. In one scene, MacLachlan performs the chicken walk for Laura Dern. Why? I have no idea. An entertaining and interesting flick.
BOARDING HOUSE - A young man inherits a California home. He places an ad and gets several young woman to rent rooms in the place. The house ends up having a history. Someone, or something has been killing people in it for years. Strange things start to happen. A few people are killed, and others have bizarre visions. Strange flick, supposedly shot on video in the 1980's. But it looks like an early 1970's cheap drive-in flick. This has got weird dream sequences, a bloody pig's head, skeletons, and a limping Vietnam veteran gardener. When the lead actor isn't in the bathtub, moving a bar of soap around with his mind, he's spending the rest of the time wandering around in bikini underwear. A few nude scenes, but the woman aren't very attractive.
BODY DOUBLE - Craig Wasson plays Jake, a struggling actor in Hollywood. After finding his girlfriend in bed with another man, he moves into a friend's apartment to housesit. Luckily for him, his beautiful neighbor dances around topless in front of her window every night. Naturally, he can't help but watch her. Soon after, he becomes a bit obsessed and starts following her. He notices that someone else is stalking her too. One night he sees her killed. Try explaining to the police how you witnessed that! Jake investigates on his own and ends up getting involved with porn star, Holly Body - beautifully played by Melanie Griffith. Before long, Frankie Goes To Hollywood shows up and sings "Relax!" A bit implausible, but a pretty entertaining flick. Dennis Franz plays a film director. Directed by Brian DePalma.
THE BOY IN THE PLASTIC BUBBLE - John Travolta stars in this made for TV drama about a boy who has no immune system. Therefore, he's spent his enire life in a bubble. As he grows older, he wishes to be more social. He goes to school and begins to fall for his pretty next door neighbor. This is a very well made film. Travolta is ecellent as a young man, frustrated by his living situation. Look for P.J. Soles in a small role as one of Travolta's classmates.
THE BRADY GIRLS GET MARRIED - This is a Brady Bunch reunion movie, and the pilot to the short-lived Brady Brides TV series. This was the one and only time that the entire original cast reunited. It starts out with Jan getting engaged. Shortly thereafter, Marcia gets engaged to a man she just met. In fine, corny Brady tradition, the two sisters get married in a double ceremony. Though this film is unbelievably campy, there are a few genuine laughs. Greg is now a doctor. Peter's in the Airforce. Cindy and Bobby are both in college. Fans of the series (and honestly, aren't we all?) will enjoy this made for TV flick.
BREWSTER'S MILLIONS - Richard Pryor plays Montgomery (Monty) Brewster, a washed-up baseball player, now pitching for the Hackensack Bulls. Believe it or not, Hume Cronyn plays Monty's uncle. (It's explained). When Cronyn dies, he offers his entire estate of $300,000,000 to Monty, if he can spend $30,000,000 in 30 days, and have no assets to show for it afterwards. John Candy costars as Monty's friend and teammate. Monty purchases the rarest stamp in the world, only to mail it on a postcard! He even manages to rent the New York Yankees. Ok comedy, entertaining enough to hold your interest. Look for a bearded Rick Moranis, in a very small role as an annoying mimic.
BRING ME THE HEAD OF DOBIE GILLIS - This is a made for TV reunion movie of the Dobie Gillis TV show. Dwayne Hickman and Bob Denver return as Dobie and Maynard. Dobie is now married to Zelda. Rich widow Thalia returns to town, with the hope of wooing Dobie. When he rejects her, she offers $50,000 to every townsperson, if Dobie meets an untimely demise. This is a pretty good movie. Dobie's son acts just like him. Connie Stevens plays Thalia. But really, the lead characters are named Dobie, Maynard, Zelda and Thalia. There's also a Chatsey! What whacked-out person came up with those names?
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