THE OCCULT EXPERIENCE - This is a documentary showing different forms of religion and occultism. The highlight features a short interview with Church of Satan founder Anton LaVey. One group believes that you can get the devil out of you by spitting up! "The blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus." Odd film, which showcases a lot of unusual beliefs. One guy has to run around naked in the woods, before he's allowed to join their group.
OCTOPUSSY - Roger Moore is James Bond, in his sixth stint as agent 007. This time he must foil some people making fake jewelry, as well as a Russian general who plans on setting off a nuclear bomb in Europe. Maude Adams plays the title role, as a woman who is both good and bad. The plot is a little difficult to follow at times, but the action sequences are very good and quite entertaining. This film also features a wicked saw blade, made into a yo-yo!
OFFBEAT - Judge Reinhold and Meg Tilly star in this comedy. Believe it or not, every police precinct in New York City has to select one officer to volunteer to be in a dancing cop stage show! When officer Abe Washington decides he doesn't want to go, he gets his librarian friend Zeke (Reinhold) to take his place. Sure enough, Zeke becomes the star of the show, and ends up falling for "fellow" cop Tilly. Later on, he foils the robbery of a bank by Harvey Keitel. Perfectly harmless comedy, entertaining enough to hold your interest. Fred Gwynn plays the police commissioner. Look for John Turturro in a small role.
THE OMEN - A politician adopts an infant son, unaware that the child is the son of Satan. As his son Damien turns five years old, strange events begin to occur around his family. A priest warns Damien's father and instructs him on what he needs to do. Though obviously skeptical at first, he comes to realize the truth and sets out to kill Damien. This is a very creepy movie. The cemetery scene is chilling. There's also a great beheading scene. Two sequels followed, followed by a third sequel several years later.
THE OTHER SISTER - Juliette Lewis stars as Carla Tate, a young woman with a learning disabilty. She seems to be mildly retarded. Carla's an independent person who wants to enroll in a technical school and get her own apartment. The only obstacle in her way is her over-protective mother (Diane Keaton). Her life takes an upswing when she falls for Danny, a mentally handicapped boy also. This moving drama features strong performances by the two leads, as well as by Keaton and and her husband Tom Skerritt. It also teaches you a "neat trick" about olive juice!
THE OUTSIDERS - S.E. Hinton's novel is brought to the big screen by Francis Ford Coppola. It's the mid-1960's in Oklahoma. The town is divided by the poor northside "greasers" and the wealthy southside "socs." When greaser Johnny kills a soc in self defense, he runs away, along with his friend Pony Boy. Yes, Pony Boy Curtis is his real name. His brother's name is Soda Pop. "It says so on his birth certificate." Excellent film, which features a stellar cast of virtual unknowns (at that time). This film tries to tell us that no matter which side of the tracks you come from, we're all basically the same people. Moral message aside, this is a damn fine flick! Costarring C. Thomas Howell, Ralph Macchio, Matt Dillon, Emilio Estevez, Tom Cruise, Rob Lowe and Patrick Swayze. "Don't you know a rumble ain't a rumble without me!"
PARASITE - Hard to find, 1982 horror film, featuring Demi Moore in her screen debut. This takes place in the "future" (1992) - where gasoline costs $40.00 per gallon. Some scientist is trying to kill a parasite that's in his body. To do so, he must use a second parasite to find the cure. When the second parasite escapes, it wreaks havoc on some unsuspecting punks in a dusty, old west-looking town. The parasite looks like a two foot worm with lots of sharp teeth. A few decent gore scenes. This was apparently originally shown in 3-D. But you can't tell when watching it on TV.
PARTY CAMP - This is a summer camp movie. There's not much of a plot to speak of. It's basically the story of the nerdy cabin versus the snobby jocks. At the end, there's a multi-event competition. Gee, I wonder who wins...? This film also features a buxom nurse named Brenda, a few topless women, along with a brief frontal glimpse of a naked man. There's also a bus driver who does bad celebrity impressions. Billy Jacoby, Jewel Shepard and Peter Jason costar.
PEGGY SUE GOT MARRIED - Kathleen Turner plays Peggy Sue. After passing out at her 25th year high school reunion, she wakes up as a high school senior in 1960. She'd married her high school sweetheart (a nasally voiced Nicolas Cage,) but was divorcing him. She now has the opportunity to change how her life played out. Though she looks a bit older than a typical teenager, Turner shines in her role as a senior, with 25 years of adult experience. She ends up finding herself once again falling in love with Cage. Jim Carrey and Helen Hunt also appear in small roles. "She loves you - ooh, ooh, ooh."
PHANTASM - Creepy horror film from 1979! Something strange is going on at a local funeral home and mausoleum. Angus Scrimm plays the tall man, the head of the mausoleum. People are killed, and are shrunk down into pint-sized monsters who look like Jawas. Brothers Michael and Jody, along with their friend Reggie try to stop him. Wonderfully original flim, with some great gore. The flying sphere is unforgettable. And once it starts drilling, the blood flows like a garden hose! For those of you lucky enough to see the DVD version of this, their are some really wacked-out deleted scenes! Stunning film has spawned three sequels, so far. A must see for all horror fans! "Booooooooy!"
PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE - This is a takeoff of the PHANTOM OF THE OPERA story. Young composer Winslow Leach writes a rock opera. The music is stolen by a powerful producer named Swan - (played by Paul Williams). When Leach seeks revenge, he injures his skull in a record press. Donning a mask and cape, Leach returns as the Phantom. When he catches up with Swan, he hires him to rewrite his opera for the opening night performance, which is one week away! After Swan crosses him again, the Phantom takes his final revenge on opening night. Pretty decent movie with a cool soundtrack. Be sure not to miss the end credits, which features the awesome Paul Williams song, "That's The Hell Of It."
PINK FLAMINGOS - Mere words don?t due justice to this 1972 John Waters masterpiece. Divine stars as Divine (A.K.A. Babs Johnson) "The Filthiest Person Alive." Divine, a real life 300 pound tranvestite, lives in a trailer with Edith Massey (her egg obsessed mother) her perverted son Crackers, and her female traveling companion, Cotton. Her "filthy" title is challenged by Connie and Raymond Marble. Crackers has sex with a woman -while violently shoving live chickens between them. Babs gets a turd mailed to her. There is (literally) a breathing asshole - this must be seen to be believed! Babs also orally gratifies her son. These vile scenes and much, much more can be found in this shockfest. Be sure not to miss the scene after the film, in which the real Divine takes fresh dog droppings, puts them in his mouth, and chews them! Like I said, mere words don't do justice to the scenes in this film. Just watch. The film is dedicated to some of the Manson killers!
PINK FLOYD - THE WALL - This is a movie based on the Pink Floyd album of the same name. It's the story of Pink (Bob Geldof). He grows up, becomes a rock star, and loses his mind. We see all of his nightmares, ranging from his childhood to present day. This film will leave you emotionally drained, but the music is awesome! Most of the songs were rerecorded for the film. There's also a few new songs as well. Some of the sequences are animated. If you're a fan of the album, you'll probably love this film. If you're not, you may be confused. Actually, whether you like the album or not, you may be confused!
POLICE ACADEMY - Steve Guttenberg stars as Mahoney, a delinquent who is forced into the police academy in order to avoid going to jail. Along with several other misfits, Mahoney turns the academy into his own private party. Before they know it, the recruits are in the middle of a riot. Will they save the day? Pretty decent comedy, which has spawned six (progressively worse) sequels. This also stars Bubba Smith and Michael Winslow - the guy who does all the sound effects.
POLICE ACADEMY II - Mahoney, Tackleberry, Hightower, Hooks and Jones are back. Having graduated into cops, they are sent on their first assignment - the worst precinct in the city. Bobcat Goldthwait is Zed, the leader of a gang of thugs which has gone on a major crime spree. In order to save the job of the police captain, Howard Hesseman, they must stop the gang. Ok sequel with a few scattered laughs. I can't be the only one who finds Goldthwait's constant screaming annoying. Do yourself a favor and stop watching this series of movies now!
POLICE ACADEMY III - All the gang is back once again. This time, they need to save Cmdt. Lassard's police academy from being closed. It's basically a competition between Lassard's academy, and the academy of Captain Mauser's. With the help of Mahoney and the others, they're able to save the governor from a kidnapping plot, thus making Lassard's recruits look good and saving his academy. Watchable sequel, save for the constant screaming of Zed (Bobcat Golthwait) - a holdover from part II, who has now become a cop as well. Watch it if you must.
POLICE ACADEMY IV - This is the fourth film in the neverending series. It's subtitled "Citizens On Patrol." Commandant Lassard's new program involves having ordinary citizens sign up to be police helpers. Steve Guttenberg is back as his final turn as Office Mahoney. All of the other regulars are back. Sharon Stone joins the cast as a reporter, while David Spade plays a teenage skateboarding punk who's forced to join the program. This one is as lame as all the rest. Fans of the series will be delighted. Normal people will roll their eyes. Which one are you? Watch this only if you're forced to!
PORKY'S - Often imitated, never duplicate teenage horny movie from the early 1980's. We got ourselves a bunch of horny teenagers from Angel Beach Highschool. Sexual hijinks is the name of the game here. Kim Cattrall squeals like Lassie at the smell of the boys' lockerroom. The boys peek through some holes in the girls' lockerroom. Tommy Turner gets "friendly" with the peephole - much to the chagrin of girls' gym teacher Beulah Balbricker. Oh yeah, there's a strip club named Porky's, run by Chuck Mitchell. This is one of the best of its era. "Hi. I'm Paulie the penis, and I just looooove to have fun!"
PORKY'S II: THE NEXT DAY - The gang from Angel Beach Highschool is back. This time their nemesis is Reverand Bubba Flavel, an extremist who wants to stop the school from their Shakespeare festival. Nudity (mostly full frontal male) and wackiness ensues. Nancy Parsons is back as Buelah Balbricker. The KKK somehow gets involved too. They end up getting their heads shaved by a bunch of angry indians. Pee Wee Morris and the gang certainly don't look like teens anymore. Have these actors done anything other than the Porky's trilogy? Not anywhere nears as good as the original, but not all bad either.
PORKY'S REVENGE - The boys from Angel Beach are back for one final romp. Chuck Mitchell is back, as Porky. This time, the boys' basketball coach owes lots of money to Porky, from gambling on his illegal riverboat casino. The boys agree to throw the state finals, in order for Porky to make a fortune gambling on the other team. Porky also wants his daughter to marry Meat. Beulah Balbricker is there as well. The kids arrange for her to get her old boyfriend "snooky" back! Harmless, mindless sequel with a small amount of nudity. Pee Wee bares it all at graduation! Dave Edmunds sings the ending theme "High School Nights." I must admit, I felt a little sadness watching the credits, knowing that this was the last of the Porky's movies. Come on! The time is ripe for Porky's IV : The Reunion!
THE POSSESSION OF JOEL DELANEY - Poor Joel is possessed by the spirit of his dead friend, Antonio. Unfortunately, Antonio had a bad habit of killing women and cutting their heads off. Shirley Maclaine stars as Joel's concerned sister. Maclaine gets some sort of Hispanic mystic to exorcise the spirit. It doesn't work. Perhaps it would have worked better if Joel had actually been present during the exorcism! Eventually Joel goes totally nuts, decapitates some women, makes his little nephew dance around naked, and makes his little niece eat dogfood. Ok thriller, different from your typical possession film.
PREDATOR - Some foreign cabinet minister's airplane has supposedly crashed into a South American jungle. Arnold Schwarzenegger and his band of commandos are sent in to find him. Instead, they find themselves pitted against a lizard-like alien. The alien (which for the most part appears as a shimmering image) seems to be having a great time carving people up and skinning them alive. Cool action flick, which features neat effects and big boys with big guns. Carl Weathers and Jesse "The Body" Ventura costar. "I ain't got time to bleed."
THE PREMONITION - Odd film in which a girl named Andrea, and her boyfriend (both carnival workers) plot to kidnap Andrea's daughter, Janie. She'd given Janie up for adoption five years earlier. Andrea breaks into the home of her daughter. But instead of taking Janie, she takes a doll instead. Andrea's boyfriend then kills her and dumps her in a lake. Then he kidnaps Janie on his own. A psychologist comes in to help the adoptive parents find Janie. She thinks that they'll find Janie through music - music written by Andrea, played on the piano by the adoptive mother. Does this make sense to you? If so, please explain it to me! If you care to find out if her plan works, watch this film. Very weird movie, with touches of the supernatural. The ending is even more bizarre.
PRETTY SMART - Two sisters, one wild, and one preppie are sent to a girls' school in Greece. The dean of the school has hidden cameras set up in all of the girls' rooms. He's been secretly videotaping them all. He also happens to be an international drug dealer! When he fires the most popular teacher, the students vow revenge. They set him up and blackmail him. This is kind of a silly movie, but it's easily watchable. There's also enough nudity to keep the voyeurs happy. There's also a subplot as the preppies (the "preens") of the school square off against the "subs" - the lower class girls. Particia Arquette makes her film debut playing a character named Zero.
PRINCE OF DARKNESS - John Carpenter directed this slow-moving horror film. A giant canister of green slop sits in the basement of a church. Inside the canister is the son of Satan. The slop turns people into murdering zombies. The zombies are trying to rescue their dark prince. This film is slow and uniteresting. Donald Pleasence plays a priest. There's a cool gore scene or two. But it's not enough to keep you interested. Recommended for insomniacs.
THE PRINCIPAL - Jim Belushi stars as a typical schoolteacher who gets transferred to an inner city school, as its new principal. Brandel High is crime and drug infested. Belushi's motto is "no more!" He then strives to clean up the school and rid it of its criminal element. Belushi is good as the no nonsense tough guy. Though the final showdown with student druglord Victor Duncan is more than a bit far fetched. Louis Gossett Jr. costars.
PROM NIGHT - Jamie Lee Curtis stars in this 1980 horror film. Six years earlier, her and some companions scared her sister while playing a game, and the girl fell out a window and died. They vowed never to tell anyone. Now a killer is on the loose, hell-bent on killing the kids who were present six years earlier. This film has a lot of disco music in it, including in the final scene in which Jamie Lee and her boyfriend square off against the masked killer. This is a good movie, although the killer's identity is painfully obvious from the first scene - if you pay attention. This also has a few nude scenes, as well as a severed head on a dance floor! Leslie Nielsen plays Jamie Lee's father, and principal of the school.
PSYCHO III - Norman Bates is back for round three. This film picks up right where Psycho II left off. Diana Scarwid plays Maureen, a girl who flees a convent after a botched suicide attempt, which resulted in the death of a nun. Destination - Bates Motel. Jeff Fahey gets a job working for Norman. He also gets naked in one scene. Before long, Norman is up to his old tricks. The whole "mother - aunt" plot gets twisted around again. Let's be blunt. Norman Bates has some real issues! Decent flick with several black comedic moments. The very last scene is prepsoterous, but funny.
PULSE - Joey Lawrence plays a boy who comes to spend some time with his father. His father's house has been invaded by some kind of evil which lives in the wiring and plumbing. The same evil drove a neighbor to go nuts. Accidents begin happening, but no one believes Joey's claims that something is wrong. After all, he learned all about the evil from some old crazy man! Will Joey and his father get out of the home in time? Ok spook film with nothing offensive. Joey's little brother Matthew plays a little kid named Stevie. At one point, Joey is watching STARMAN on TV.
THE PURSUIT OF D.B. COOPER - Treat Williams stars as the notorious hijacker in this fictional portrayal of the story. "Cooper" gets away with $200,000 and parachutes out of the plane, landing in the northwestern U.S. He spends the rest of the film eluding insurance man Robert Duvall. Duvall works for the company that paid Cooper the ransom. This is a fun movie. Williams is perfect as the smooth criminal, intent on getting away and keeping his loot. Watch the credits to hear a cool Waylon Jennings song called "Shine."
THE PYX - Karen Black stars as a heroin-addicted prostitute. The film starts with her body lying dead on the sidewalk, following a fall from a building. It then backtracks and follows the chain of events leading up to her death. Periodically the police investigation of her death is interwoven into the past events. This is an ok movie, but it has some dull scenes. It takes too long to get to the meat of the movie. A little bit of nudity and gore is sprinkled throughout this Larry Cohen-directed film. Check out the kids who use the police rope (which was placed outside Black's body) as a jumprope!
Back To The Walrus Movie Homepage
A & B Review List
C & D Review List
E & F Review List
G & H Review List
I & J Review List
K & L Review List
M & N Review List
R & S Review List
T, U, & V Review List
W, X, Y, & Z Review List
Email The Walrus