The whole trip from Marathon, NY, back to Elizabethtown, PA, it poured rain.  It was hard to see out the window, but I'm not sure if that was because of the rain or because of my constant crying.  Usually I could keep busy, put my feelings aside and just take care of what needed done, this way, I could burry some of the pain I was feeling, making it bearable to go on... but it wasn't working this time... the doubts and thoughts just kept going through my head...
 

• Is my family really OK?
• Is there really a Heaven?
• Is there really a God?

But I couldn't seem to get any peace.  I hurt so bad, I wanted to die..  I looked over at my little son Ezekiel, now almost 3 months old... he would NEVER know his Dad and sister and brother that were so excited about him being born... and they would NEVER get to know him... the tears continued to flow....
 

My Dad pulled off of Interstate 81 to a smaller road.  We would pass through Hershey, PA, on our way back to the hospital where Mary was... we had vacationed there just that summer as a family... I could still picture little Jai so proudly driving the old cars on the track... I wasn't sure I could take anymore... where was God... did he care... did he even EXSIST????
 

Just after we exited Rte. 81, the rain began to lighten up... I was so glad, because my heart was so heavy and it was so hard to drive in the rain... as we came around a corner, I looked to the sky... above the hills was a rainbow... I wanted to stop, but I couldn't stop unless my Dad did... he was pulling over... I looked again and the rain had stopped... there was the most beautiful double rainbow I had ever seen above the hills...
 

I stood by the road my Dad held Zeke and I held Kezia... my Dad hugged me as we cried... "Dad," I told him... "Jai drew that rainbow for me to let me know he's alright"... Jai always drew me rainbows, and he asked God if he could make me a rainbow this time, the most beautiful ever so that I would know that Jai, Phoebe, Debbie and David are safe in Heaven awaiting my arrival.
 

I'm not sure how long we stood there... probably 10-15 mintues... the rainbow didn't even start to fade.  I had wished I had a camera, but I didn't :(  We finally decided that we needed to get going back to see Mary and my Mom... as we traveled through Hershey, I could see the antique cars that Jai had drove just that past summer... and I could still see the double rainbow... and I knew that Jai was in Heaven, happier than he ever was here on earth.  I didn't want to turn in the direction away from the rainbow, but just before we did, it started to fade.....
 

When we got back to Elizabethtown to the Rehab hospital and I told my Mom and Mary about the rainbow, they had seen it at the hosptial too.... and now one ever denied that Jai made it for me :)

 
I never did get a picture and if anyone reading this saw that rainbow in November of 1990 near Hershey, Pennsylvania, and has a picture,
I would love a copy of it!