THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD

© Katrina99
CH 15

Jordan sat up on his chair. His face wet with the tears that were still coming down. Now he just stared blankly hoping that somehow God would smile down on him and grant his wish. From the side he saw the doctor walk slowly up to him. He wiped away the tears attempted to look like the man that he was. He studied the doctors face for any sign, but he gave away none.

"Well, he's alright isn't he?"

"Jordan, why don't you step into my office." The doctor said.

"Why, you can tell me that he's alright here. He's not..." Jordan paused afraid to even say the word "dead?"

The doctor shook his head slowly "I'd rather we take this into my office Jordan" He turned and nodded towards the other people in the room.

Jordan looked around noticing them for the first time, but not caring. "Just please tell me he's alright." Jordan just wanted to run into his room, take him into his arms and never let him go.

"Jordan" the doctor put a hand on his shoulder "It's complicated. I can tell you we've got him breathing right now."

Jordan broke down when he heard that. He was alive. Evan was alive. He had a chance. He smiled through tears at the doctor. "Thank you. Thank you very much. At least we're one step toward his recovery."

The doctor stood there not wanting to say what was next. At least not out in the public. He'd done this many times, and each time was the hardest. He watched Jordan's face change from anguish to hope and he did not want to dash those hopes. The truth was, Evan was brain dead, he was breathing through a machine, but not much else, and there was no chance of him recovering. It would have been better if he was in a coma, not much, but at least they'd have a fighting chance. Now all that was left was to decide when to take him off the machine. He led Jordan into his office and closed the door behind him.

~~~~~
"So." Rodelyn looked up at Jonathan who'd just walked in. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing escaped but a tiny cry. She couldn't even talk to him. She shook her head quickly and he sat down.

"Where's Jordan?"

"He's, he's in the doctor's office." She wiped her tears and looked at him. "The doctor told us that he was breathing, but there's something still wrong, I could tell it in his voice."

"Well maybe you were reading too much into it." But Jon doubted that, why would he take Jordan into his office. "Why aren't you in there with them."

Rodelyn didn't know if she should tell him, but under the circumstances she knew he would want to know. "Jordan is Evan's father."

"WHAAT?"

"Jordan and his mom, they�"

"Okay that part I can understand but he never knew? That is just�weird." Jon thought about all the time Jordan spent with the boy. Maybe he knew but didn't want anyone else to know. That would have made sense, but still, if that was true, then he deprived Evan out of a normal life he should have been leading.

"He didn't know. It was a surprise, and of course what did I do? Walk away from him. I had the nerve to be angry at him when poor Evan�" She couldn't even finish her sentence.

"Stop, right now, don't start putting blame on yourself or anyone, this is not the time." He was about to say something else when he saw the doctor and Jordan walk out of the office. The doctor's hand was on Jordan's back and he walked him towards Evans room. Even from how far away they were Rod could see the tears pouring down his face.

"Jordan!" She got up to run over to him but Jonathan stopped her.

"No, let him go, I think he needs to see him privately, if, what you say is true." He'd seen the tears and now he totally agreed with Rod, something was wrong. The doctor came back out and motioned for Rod to come into his office. Jonathan followed.

Jonathan and Rodelyn stood outside Evans door and watched Jordan. He had his head on Evans chest. Holding his hand, singing to him. To Rodelyn it was the most beautiful song she'd heard. Jordan sounded almost angelic as he sung softly to Evan. Tears filled both her and Jonathan's eyes. The doctor had told them separately what he had told Jordan. He'd left Jordan in his room crying. He knew that he needed to be alone at this time to come to grips with his grief. As he told Jonathan and Rodelyn, she'd broke out crying. Jon stayed strong for them both. For all three. Immediately the doctor saw the hate in Rodelyns eyes as she looked at him. "You couldn't save him?"

"We tried, he was just too far gone." That was all he could say. He excused himself and left the room.

Now as they watch Jordan coddle the son he never knew he had, their emotions ran deep. "They don't deserve this." Jonathan said to Rodelyn.

"Believe me I know. It hurts Jon, it does. I can hardly bear to see him cry and be in so much pain. I know it's wrong, but it's just like I want to get away from it all." She never knew she would admit that, and she knew that Jon probably thought of her as an uncaring animal.

Jonathan came and hugged her hard. "Hon, I really think the best thing is to stay here with Jordan and face this together. You two obviously care about each other and Evan. You don't really want to leave him. What you think you're feeling is just the first phase of your pain in this situation. I know you're afraid of the pain, but it's something that has to be dealt with, now and in time.

Rodelyn was shocked that he didn't just yell at her when she'd confessed her feelings to them. But then she understood. He understood her. He knew what she meant. For the past year, she'd attempted to push away any feelings of hurt, and to numb the pain. For the past year, she'd avoided any and all dealings when it came to her heart. Now when she had to face this tragedy, she didn't know how to handle it. Without more than a few kind words he had transformed her fear into mere words and now she was ready to face her grief. She was ready to completely share the heartache with Jordan. Walking into the room, she stood behind Jordan and hugged him as they cried. She let herself hold him as he held Evan, and together they poured out the grief that was so evident.

Jonathan watched them, tears streaming down his cheeks. It was so unfair for a child to leave this life so soon. He could hardly imagine the pain his brother was going through. He wanted to hug him, tell him that he was there for him, but there would be time for that. He watched as they continued holding each other. Sending their love from one to another, and straight into the heart of Evan. He had to have known, he was loved.

****

Feedback? Katrina 99

Official J.K Website