THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD

© Katrina99
CH 18

Jackie sat down with Rodelyn in her office. "Coffee or anything?" She offered the young girl.

"No thanks, I'm fine." Rodelyn smiled wondering what was up.

"And the baby?" She was starting to show slightly. The bulge in her stomach was obvious through her pants. She felt for both Rodelyn and Jordan knowing they soon would have to raise this child when it was obvious he was not over his loss yet.

"So far, so good. No more morning sickness thank goodness, I was beginning to think that would never end. Now I'm just going to start blowing up like a darn balloon." They both laughed.

"Well glad that we're going to be able to see that. Well let's get down to business shall we?" Jackie could tell that Rodelyn was nervous, she kept crossing and uncrossing her arms and darting her eyes around. "Stop looking like that, I'm not firing you." She smiled gently to relax Rod which seemed to work.

"I'm sorry, I'm just, we'll I've been on edge lately." That was an understatement. Rodelyn's first thought when Jackie called her in was that she was going to tell her that she was letting her go. She wouldn't blame her. She seemed to be pulled in so many directions now-a-days and she knew it was showing. She was still at work everyday, and she still gave the children her undivided attention, but only an idiot couldn't see how much she was suffering. She'd been scared the first couple months of pregnancy, instead of gaining weight, she lost 5 almost 10 pounds. Jonathan kept making her order burgers and hot dogs and other fattening foods, finally her third month her weight rised a little.

"Well what I actually called you in here for was: I've been going over your track record here, and I must say, I am mighty impressed with your progress. You've done an exceptional job with her clients. I've seen improvements in almost all of your children."

Rodelyn smiled thankful for the praise. She really needed it at this time.

"I'm going to promote you to an Associate. You're no longer going to be an assistant, you are now, as of today, an official Child Psychologist and look, your name is now going on the door, the cards, the legend." She grinned. "You're official now Rodelyn." She sat back and let her words sink in and moments later Rodelyn was up laughing, crying and she ran around the table and hugged her.

"You don't now how much this means to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you." Jackie laughed at her.

"You're welcome Rodelyn. Calm down now, we don't want you to have an early labor, especially not this early. Let's say we celebrate with an extended lunch, you and me."

~~~~~~~

Jordan pulled on his sweater and pants. He brushed his hair back and looked in the mirror. He almost had a full beard. Dark circles surrounded his eyes. To put it mildly he looked like hell.

Walking through his place he picked up his wallet and car keys and headed out.

"So he's still the same as he was last month and before. I'm starting to hate going over there."

Jackie listened to Rodelyn pour her heart out and she felt sorry for the girl. She was giving her all to keep Jordan from going down the dumps and it was really weighing down on her. "Listen to me. Maybe he needs to go through this himself. Maybe you doing everything for him is not working. Why should he get up and go on when you're there 24/7 running his life for him Rodelyn? You need to take it easy too, you need to stay healthy for all three of you. You aren't just living for Jordan you know. That baby, he or she is the one that needs you most." She looked at Rodelyns face. "Look sweetie, I know you love him, and I'm just about sure he loves you, but you can't just make him snap out of a depression by cleaning after him, reading his mail and checking his messages. He has to do it, and he will some day." This was something she would not wish on anyone she knew.

"I hear you, I do, and I wish I could do that, give him tough love, but everytime I go over there and see him I just feel sorry for him all over again, and I want to do anything and everything to help him. I know it's up to him, but, I don't know, I just want him to feel loved."

"You think he doesn't? Believe me, he knows who loves him."

Rodelyn knew she was right and sitting there with Jackie she realized that she wasn't putting her baby first and for its sake, she had to make some changes in her life, and fast.

"Well look who the trash man dragged in." Miguel came from around his desk and practically tackled his frail friend. Jordan winced as Miguel hugged him.

"Damn man, you lost about 20 pounds?" Miguel looked him up and down. "And the beard look? I'm sorry man, but it's not you, at least not you now. Maybe in about about 10 years." It was such a surprise to see him finally out. Miguel guessed his threats had worked.

"I know I look like hell, just say it, believe me, I feel it."

"Well I wasn't going to be that blunt, but yes you do." They both sat down in the office. "So how have you been really? Have you progressed any?" Concern was written all over Miguels face.

"I miss him man, everytime I wake up I wish I could just see his little face smiling at me. Just to hear him would make me so happy."

"It takes time." Miguel shook his head.

"I know. I know. I figured that I better get up and do something before I waste away. I'm almost halfway there anyway."

"That definitely sounds like a plan, what did you have in mind?"

~~~~~~

This time it was Jordan who called her over, and he even answered the door when she rang. She was surprised when she looked at him. Besides the weight loss he almost looked like the same man she'd fell in love with. The beard was gone, the dark circles, thought still there, were fading. He had on a pair of khaki pants and T-shirt and the pants hung on him. The house looked immaculate. He'd cleaned the whole thing up. She wanted to jump for joy and hug him, it looked like he'd joined the world of the living again.

"Hey." He said standing aside so she could walk by.

"Hey." She walked in and stood facing him. There was an awkward silence and neither one of them made a move toward each other. Finally she went and sat on his sofa.

"I see you've cleaned. Very nice."

"Well I couldn't have you doing it for me forever now could I?" He still didn't smile but at least he was talking. "I've got pizza if you want some, or are you on some special kind of diet?" He'd noticed the bulge in her stomach. He still wasn't ready to fully deal with the pregnancy issue just yet.

"No, I ate earlier, with your brother actually."

"Yeah, I've got to call him soon." He sat down across from her on the edge of the sofa.

"So you look good?"

"Well at least better than I have been huh?" She nodded. "I talked to Miguel today." He looked at her nervously.

"Yeah? Well what did he say, after he just about killed you."

"Um, well. I'm going back on tour."

It took Rod a few moments to digest what he just said. "You're WHAT?"

"I'm leaving in two weeks."

"Let me get this straight. After all this you've went through you wake up one day and 'decide' to just go back on tour? Does it matter to you what anyone else says? Does it matter to you that I'm carrying your baby which you haven't even acknowledged yet?" Her voice was rising but she couldn't help it. He was leaving her to go sing around the country when she needed him here.

"I'm sorry Rod. I knew I couldn't continue like I was, and I just came to the realization that if I'm not in Boston I can digest this a little better. Believe me, it sounds harsh but honestly, I think it's the best thing for me�and us. I'm happy about the baby, really I am even if I haven't shown it. It's ours Rods and I'm going to love it and you forever." He got up and slid onto the other couch next to her. "I just, I can't be here right now. I need, something, anything to keep me busy and help me get back to my old self, or as close as I can."

"But you've got me Jordan." She cried to him. "I'm here for you."

"I know baby and I so appreciate it, you don't know how much. I love you with all my heart and I could never thank you enough for the things you've done for me. Can you just think about this though and try to understand. Don't you want me to be in the best shape for when the baby comes?"

She cried openly not even answering him and he leaned her on him, kissing her head. It was his turn to baby her now and he did.

"It seems like now that you've gotten better you're ready to just up and leave me Jordan and I don't like that. I'm sorry." There was fire in her eyes but she didn't sound angry, only scared.

"I'm not leaving you, I'll call you all the time, you'll know where I am. Just believe me honey this is something I have to do." He felt evil doing this to her and telling her this but it was all he could think of and the more he thought of it, the more he knew it was the right thing for him to do, for them. "Plus, think of it this way, I was going to have to go anyway, if I waited, I would have to go after the baby is born and I know you'd really hate me then honey." He tried to get a smile out of her but she only shook and sobbed in his arms.

They sat there for awhile then he picked her up and carried her into his room laying her on his nice clean bed. It was weird, just after a few hours he felt stronger than he'd felt in weeks. He wasn't all right by any means, but he felt healthier. They sat on his bed for hours, him holding her, her crying and begging him not to go even though she realized he was right. As much as she hated to admit it, it was the right thing to do. Anyway, didn't she almost do the same thing, leaving New Jersey? The only difference was, he was coming back.

Feedback? Katrina 99

Official J.K Website