As I sat in jail waiting for my parents and the welfare workers to decide who was responsible for PAYING for me to get back home. I began to talk to my child. The jail cell was very small. I sat in jail for what seemed like and eternity. I had no one else but my child. The bonding began between my precious child and I. I was so proud of her even if no one else was.

I was alone and scared. I began to hope that someday everything was going to be ok with us. I had to have that hope. I needed to believe this. I dreamed dreams of my child and I, and what we would have together. I finally had some one to love. All the hopes, dreams, and expectations I had swimming in my head. Would this happen? Would I finally know love and happiness? Would I get to raise my child? Would my parents accept and love me now because I was about to give them their first grandchild?

Ginger at 15 years old

The day came when I went home from the jail. I was so excited. I thought that yes finally my parents wanted me. I arrived home only to find that they were about to take me away again. Off to a mental hospital I went. Once again left alone and abandoned. But I still had my child growing with in me. As bad as that place was I still had my child. There were a couple of nurse's there at the mental hospital when I began to show they brought me maternity cloths and baby cloths. I was so excited. I put on my first maternity top and stood in front of the mirror. I looked at my growing child and myself. I was so proud of my child even though all around me would try and shame me for MY SIN. Gezzzzz, I was 16 years old. I felt like I had murdered some one and was living a life sentence and could never go home or ever be accepted again.

My Father came to get me at the mental hospital. I was once more excited that I was going home to live. I proudly wore my maternity top home to show the whole world I was going to have my baby. My mother was extremely upset. I didn't care. I went in the house only to find out that I was about to be hauled off to an unwed mother's home and be hidden away again. I felt so rejected again. Yet I still held my hope for my child and I.

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