 never dies. My Daughter's Tina's love for me was strong. Mine love for her was strong. We had many mountains and valley's to cross to find a love that would stand the test of time, hurts, and fears. There is an old saying that says that if we love someone with real love we set that love free to be all that it was meant to be. My daughter and I had to do this with each other. The pains and sorrows were many between us. In spite of those hurts and fears we both took great risk to try again with our attempt to love and nurture each other. Our love and needs stood strong even though we were apart. My sweet daughter hurt me, and I knew I had hurt her. After a year or so, our love and wants drew us back together. The time we spent away from each other brought much hope that our love was indeed real. READ the 5 Stages of Reunion My daughter Tina had some maturing to do. She had some flaws to overcome and so did I. She needed to be in recovery and discover herself. She needed time to work through the first 31 years of her life. I could not do for her what she needed to do for herself. She could not do for me what I needed to do for myself. The time and space we took form each other was a much-needed time. They say absence makes the heart grow stronger. This I believe with all my heart. This Child of mine, my first born, Yetenna Marie (My Child's birth name), has always had a place that no one or anything could take that place. This place in my heart was reserved just for my sugar bear. (MY NICK NAME FOR TINA) All my life there was a big piece of me missing. It was my child. All those years I didn't have her or know where she was. My heart ached for her each day and every birthday I cried and cried for her. As my first born, Tina and I rebuilt our new relationship with healthy boundaries and better understanding of each other. We took very scary risks with one in all our negatives and all our positives. You see since both of us had sad and painful lives, it was very hard not to feel we would get abandoned or betrayed once again. I am most proud of the both of us that we walked through a lot of those fears. What we seemed to find on the other side of those fears was deep respect for one another. Yes other people raised my daughter and I am sure they did the best they could. I am positive they loved her. Yet she is my daughter. She came from my body. She is my child. I will never give up that right EVER. I have no need to compete for her. What she had with them and what they had with Tina belongs to them.Tina ties are with her parents who raised her. What I have with Tina and what they have with Tina do not intertwine, they don't have too. We are different people. What they have is theirs with Tina. What Tina and I have is only ours. Positive or negitive it is only ours. My hope for my child Tina is that she will be free to be the adult she always wanted to be. That she will be free to live her own life and not be afraid of what others will do to hurt her. Tina doesn't believe or like what others think is good for her. I am most proud that my daughter is coming to a place to stretch her arms and fly free like a beautiful butterfly and live her life that makes her happy. With or with out me at her side. I find it very ironic how many similarities that my child Tina and I have, yet I never raised her. Our smiles are the same, we have both sought out music to express the emotion's we seem to never express to those around us. Does my daughter and I make mistakes and blow things out of proportion?? Yeepy we do. Do we still have the boogiemen pop up into and out of our lives for no real reason, and some real reasons? Of course we do. The positive thing is we have tried working at the problems and trying to find a workable solution that we both can live with. Tina, my daughter was never a mistake that the others were ashamed of. I was never ashamed of my beautiful daughter. Tina was an answer to my prayers and hopes. How could I be ashamed of beautiful life and my sweet baby girl? I have always and still think daily of my most beautiful baby girl that may become a sensitive, gentile, kind, loving woman. I love you my daughter, that will never change EVER. The sad thing is I will never fill my empty arms of that baby left behind. � **Note** (Update) July,2000... All of my life from the
moment Tina was born I wanted to meet her. I am grateful that God gave me the
chance to meet and know Tina. I have grown a great deal in the last 4 years I
have known Tina. The sad thing is Tina came to me 31 years later after her birth
as a perfect stranger to me. Tina was full of hurts, sorrows, fears, abuse and a
neediness that was much much more powerful than my love or experience's could
give her. Tina has asked for a time out. I am glad I needed a calmness from the
dance of reunion. I have found that my love alone is not what she needs. She has
many years to heal and work out before she met me. In this time of her choice of
being away from each other. I feel Tina needs to find herself in a deeper
understanding that I can not give her. My love for Tina, will ALWAYS remain the
same. Tina is an adult now and must find her own ways in her own time.
**Note** (Update) Dec,2000  -- Please read my birth daughter Tina's story too. Thanks! -- Please check out our poems/lyrics site.   ��
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 Birthmother Ginger's Story | Ginger's Childhood | Ginger at the Group and Foster Homes | Rock-a-bye-bye-baby | Home for UnWed Mothers | Empty Arms - Empty Soul | Ginger's Empty Cradle | Ginger's Recovery | Hello? I am looking for my mother. | Getting to know you | The Separation | Real Love Never Dies | Come here and sit on my knee | Lyrics to this midi playing (More than Words - Sang By Extreme)  We would like to know what you are thinking, how our web site affected you, what you felt when you read OUR STORY, and any additional comments you may have. Thank you, Ginger and Tina |
